


Falling Hard

by Endgame2017



Category: Shameless (US)
Genre: Abusive Parents, Abusive Relationships, Blow Jobs, Bullying, Enemies, Enemies to Lovers, F/M, Fluff, Fuckbuddies, Gallavich, Hand Jobs, High School, Kinky, M/M, Sibling Bonding, Siblings, Slow Burn, Smut, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2017-11-27
Updated: 2018-08-18
Packaged: 2019-02-07 11:48:43
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 6
Words: 55,568
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12840528
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Endgame2017/pseuds/Endgame2017
Summary: Even though it's his last year of high school, he wouldn't be surprised if they flunked him,.. he's extremely behind in every subject and he can't be fucked catching up or even attending school. What's the point? He's fucked for life. He barely shows up twice a week and when he does, he terrifies all the kids into giving him their lunch money and beats up all the dorks. Hands down he's THE school bully... Well, at least until a certain redhead pipes up and takes over that role.[Relationships: Ian x Mickey & Lip x Mandy]





	1. Irresistible

Mickey Milkovich is a senior in high school with a shitty attendance record and a dominant attitude. Whenever someone talked down to him he always made a point that he was the one with the power because of the family he was born into; because the Milkovich's will fuck you up, literally. He tatted it to his knuckles when he was fifteen just to have more of a dangerous thug effect.

He hates school with a passion. He hates the shitty teachers that can barely fucking teach for the life of them, he hates all the students there that are all fucking happy and cheery like life couldn't get better, he hates every single slutty chick that throws themselves at him, and he hates all the subjects that he's failing. But most of all, he hates sitting or walking down the hall all by himself. He hates being lonely, he can't escape it. He's lonely at home, at school, even when he's socializing with his dumb fucking brothers.

Even though it's his last year of high school, he wouldn't be surprised if they flunked him,.. he's so behind in every subject and he can't be fucked catching up or even attending school. What's the point? He's fucked for life. He barely shows up twice a week and when he does, he terrifies all the kids into giving him their lunch money and beats up all the dorks. Hands down he's THE school bully... Well, at least until a certain redhead pipes up and takes over that role.

"THE FUCK GINGER?! Why the fuck are you beating the shit out of him?!" Mickey roared, shoving him into the lockers.

"Well, Milkovich, this school is lacking in bullying... Thought I'd be the man, step up!" He explained with a stupid fucking grin on his face.

The poor kid ran off as fast as he could before one of them started pummeling his face in again or stealing what money he had left.

"Yeah? Well, this shit hole already has one, fuck head." Mickey stated while smacking the back of his head. "And how the fuck do you know my last name?!"

"And here I was thinking everyone knew your name. You know, because you and your family are sooo fuckingg scaryy. Right?"

That was it. He'd had enough of his smartass mouth with his fucking smug facial expressions. He dashed forward grabbing onto his throat with one hand and smacking the back of his head into the lockers. He flexed his fingers around the younger man's neck, digging his fingernails into the skin. He was expecting the redhead to groan and plead for him to stop but what he received instead was.. A.. Smile? Is he fucking smiling right now?

He tightened his grip hoping it would finally make it disappear, but it didn't. It was making his blood boil just staring at it. Those lips.. curled into a massive grin... Those pink lips... Perfect shaped pink lips that are so close to his that he could just.. NO, what the fuck Mickey? Milkovich's don't do this shit. The fuck?

He tore his eyes away just to lose himself into sparkly green ones that were staring down at him. Fuck. How are they that fucking green? He was getting angrier by the second. What gives this guy the right to waltz in here, acting all top shit then make MICKEY of all fucking people feel nervous. Because that's what he was. Nervous.

Without noticing it, his hand had loosened around the younger man's throat and he was rubbing the skin next to his Adam's apple with his thumb, as he stared at his face. At his cute freckles, his long beautiful lashes, his flaming red hair... Fuckkkkk.

"You nervous Milkovich? Mm, interesting."

He broke out of his trance and punched the wall just above his head as hard as he could. He had to bite down on his bottom lip to keep from whining.

"You're sexy when you're angry you know that?"

_This fucking guy._

"FUCK YOU!" Mickey yelled, flipping back to an angry attitude.

He tore his hand away, ignoring the need to touch him again, and turned back around to find a whole crowd of people staring at the shit show.

"FUCK YOU ALL LOOKING AT? FUCK OFF!"

Every single person scattered in fright and Mickey took one last glance at the mysterious guy whose name he didn't even know.

"Touch one more fucking person and you're fucking dead! Got it red? It's MY fucking job! Shithead." He started walking out of the hallway, away from the man when...

"The names Gallagher. Ian Gallagher." Ian smiled, peeling his body off the locker.

He didn't even turn around, just flipped him off with his non-bloody hand above his head and stormed away.

_Fucker._

* * *

Two days later, Mickey was sitting all by himself, yet again, in the sad excuse of a trigonometry class. He hadn’t shown up to school yesterday, just sat around the house eating sleeping and jacking off in his room. If he had it his way, he’d never leave his room again. What’s the point? Same old shit, no friends to talk to, no family to bond with - except his sister - and no job to complain about. He literally just had to show up to school - when he actually managed too - and sell a shit load of drugs each day. That was his life.. And he hated it. He hated this feeling. He hated being so... isolated, unwanted.. and unloved. He just wanted to be alone forever but he also didn’t want to be lonely. Whatever. He didn’t make sense.

His teacher had literally fallen asleep reading out some shit he wasn’t interested in, he’d probably sell some coke and pay Mandy to do it for him. She’s supposed to be smart right? He had only paid her a couple times before but that wasn’t Trig, it was English and science shit. Whatever, he’ll give her a tip, hopefully, that will make her use her brain.

He thought about just threatening some scrawny fuck into doing his homework but he figured maybe one sibling in the family isn’t fucked for life. Maybe Mandy could actually get out of this fucking shit excuse of a neighborhood. So he just dumps all his work on her expecting her to get smart or some shit.

He was slouched in his chair, at the back of the class throwing scrunched up paper balls at the kid in front of him. Today he was extremely pissed off because that same kid had the fucking nerve to refuse to pay up two hundred bucks. Stupid fuck didn’t know how the fucking Southside works when it comes to dealing, especially with the Milkovich’s. He kicked the chair out from under him making him fall flat on his ass. The kid yelped as he jumped up grabbing both cheeks, embarrassed when all the students laughed at him.

“Leave me alone!” He yelled in Mickey’s face.

“Pay up then fucker.”

The brunette then stood up, towering over the kid making him shudder as he glared at him. “You have till Friday. Which gives you how many days?” Mickey asked in a sarcastic, smartass tone.

“Two and a half?”

“That’s right fuck head. And if you don’t pay up, I’ll get my older brothers, grab some fucking assault rifles then track down your stoned ass. GOT IT?”

The teacher startled awake from Mickey’s yelling, which no one seemed to notice. He rolled his eyes, knowing no to fuck with a Milkovich then rested his head back on the desk.

“Y-Yeah” The boy squeaked.

Suddenly Mickey’s whole demeanor switched from angry and demanding to satisfied and cheery. “That’s what I want to hear! Great, see you then.”

He shoved him back down to his seat, grabbed his sheet of homework then stomped over to the teacher attempting to fall asleep, yet again.

“Oi you, Mr. Fuckin Worthless as Shit.” He slammed his hand down making the middle-aged man jump. “How about you actually teach something huh? Fucking piece of shit.”

After all that, he had strolled out the class like he owned the joint, he liked that feeling. He liked being powerful and in control like no one could touch him. Like he was, immortal? Really Mickey? Okay.

He had the urge to be at home, in his bed, sleeping. These days he just sleeps most of the time, so much so that he wouldn’t leave his room for days. Not that anyone cared anyway. Everyone is always too busy to worry about tough, middle sibling Mickey. Not that he was complaining, he’d rather not talk about feelings and all that shit thank you!

He was almost completely out of the building when he heard screaming in the locker rooms. Who the fuck is screaming? He hadn’t knocked any heads together yet. The fuck? Instead of just ignoring it and scrambling home under the covers, he followed the yelling. He entered the locker room only to feel like whoever it was, was still so far away. He walked in further, turned a corner, and another, then had to duck behind shower lockers when he saw.. Ian fucking Gallagher.

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from his pale muscular back, and his perfect tight ass with scalding hot water bouncing off of it. He was running his hands down his face and through his hair which made his shoulder blades flex. Just staring was starting to get him hard and that’s when the beautiful redhead turned around.. He was ripped, so amazingly ripped. He was drooling as his eyes scanned down even further, his sharp v line, his red happy trail then finally his huge, pink cock. Even soft he was fucking hung!

He felt the blood in his mouth. Probably from biting down on his bottom lip too damn hard. Fuck. Just as he was about to leave instead of being a weird gay ass pervert, he heard the voices again.

“I just don’t understand why you’re doing this? We were happy, together..” An Asian brunette stated appearing in Mickey’s sight.

_Who the fuck is this guy?_

“WE. WERE. NEVER. TOGETHER. We fucked a couple times that’s it. We were never boyfriends. Ever.”

Even though he was raised to hate, spit and shame on homesexuals, he couldn’t help but let out a sigh of relief and smile. _Okay, so Ian is gay. Good to know._

“Whatever then. Why end our... Fucking?”

Mickey couldn’t help but cringe. _Who the fuck asks that?_

“The fu - Maybe I like someone else, ever think of that? Someone that is sexy as all fuck and hopefully isn’t as loud as you in bed.”

_Ouch!_

“Oh and preferably doesn’t like Iraqi soldiers.”

_What?_

“You know what, whatever man. Can do better than you anyway.”

“Yeah, best of wishes,” Ian said sarcastically. “Now fuck off to class so I can shower.” The man was almost out the room when he mumbled ‘asshole’ under his breath, fortunately, Ian heard and flipped him off.

He knew he should leave and that this was perhaps the most faggoty thing he’s ever done but something held him there. Like a fucking anchor. Ian rested his head on the wall, giving Mickey a breathtaking side view. He looked exhausted and miserable, maybe.. detached from the world. He turned around so the upper half of his back was pressed against the wall and just let the waterfall down his body.

Maybe he was still high from earlier this morning but he could have sworn he saw tears in Ian’s eyes. His eyebrows had crumpled up and his face had gone bright red. Why is he crying? Ian’s hands were clenched into fists and he smashed one of them into the wall, never moving the rest of his body.

Mickey left right after that. Everything about that whole scene just seemed too... intimate and personal. He should have left as soon as he saw that guy. He shouldn’t have stayed and listened to a private conversation.

He was outside in the parking lot, smoking a cigarette while pacing around. He couldn’t get him out his mind. Couldn’t get images and dirty thoughts out his mind was more like it. He needed the anger he had towards him to come back when he was a smug bastard that wouldn’t wipe his fucking grin off his face.

“That’s your fifth cigarette.” A manly voice spoke.

Mickey spun around and to his surprise he found Ian standing right in front of him, all sparkly eyed and that smile. “What?” He managed to croak out.

“That’s your fifth smoke in fifteen minutes, and you’ve been pacing around here like a madman.”

“Fucks it to you?”

He took another drag, raising his eyebrows daring him to say another thing about his smoking habit. He knew he was gonna die young from it anyway, why point out how many he’s had? What’s he even doing out here?

“What you can’t figure out who to bash next?”

“Fuck off.”

“Don’t worry. I’ll do it for you. Gallagher name already has bad rep.”

“I fucking told you already, no knocking heads!”

“Yeah yeah, blah blah. I’m not scared of you Milkovich.”

Mickey scoffed, “Yeah, okay Gallagher.”

“Mm, you remembered,” Ian smirked.

He took a step closer to Mickey, as usual, his guard was up and his whole body stiffened as a million thoughts ran through his head. Why the fuck did he take a step closer? Is he going to touch me? Hit me? I swear if he fucking touches me, he’s a dead man!

“Pass?” Ian asked holding out a hand.

“What?” Mickey choked.

“Drag?”

“What?”

“You know what a drag is right?”

Finally, he collected himself, as he let out a breath he didn’t know he was holding. “Of course I fucking do. And no you fucking prick. Fuck off.”

“Ok? Whatever man. Don’t you have class?”

“Ditching, what’s your fucking excuse? Mummy didn’t sign a permission slip to watch PG rated movies?”

He proudly stormed off, happy that he wasn’t acting like such a bitch anymore. Who the fuck stares at someone like that then freezes up when they take a step closer? Not a Milkovich that’s for sure. Fuck. What’s wrong with him? And what was with that lame ass movie comment?

* * *

“Yo Lip? Where you at?” Ian asked as he tumbled down the stairs.

“Here.” He answered from the armchair. "Smoke a blunt with me before school?”

“Yeah, alright.”

He virtually collapsed onto the sofa sinking into it, resting his arm on the side and placing his feet on the coffee table. Lip sighed as he passed him the lit joint, looking miserable as hell. Ian chose to ignore him and just wait for Lip to give in and tell him what the hell was going on. Probably has girl problems or his fucking perfect GPA dropped. Whatever it was he knew it was going to be pathetic.

“Jesus christ, what’s wrong with you?” Ian gave in.

“Nothin.”

“Bullshit.”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I tell you fucking everything asshole.”

“Fucking fine. I um, I can’t get hard...” Ian just burst out laughing unable to control himself. “Fuck off you prick.” Lip fumed.

“Wh-Why can’t you get hard?” Ian wondered trying to calm himself down.

“Saw a fat naked guy on the L... I think that’s why. I don’t know.”

And again Ian broke out with laughter filling the whole room with his cute giggles. He thought for a second that he might actually die of laughter if he doesn’t get oxygen to his lungs. Several hits later they were both slurring their words while they stared off into the world of oblivion.

“Frank owes money to some guy at the Alibi. Around here somewhere trying to steal money from us, saying we’re ungrateful fucks.”

“Yeah? Asshole.”

“KIDSSSS BREAKFASTTTTT!” Fiona screamed from the kitchen.

“Shut up Fi!” Lip yelled back.

She jumped and dropped whatever she was holding. “Lip? Ian? What are you’s doing in here? You ready for school? What do you want on your sandwiches? Do you just want money? Here, have money.”

She started rummaging through her pockets to scramble up some change for the both of them.

“Fi, we’re fine. Sit the fuck down. Relax for fuck's sake.” Lip demanded.

She sat next to Ian on the couch for two seconds before jumping up again saying she needs to make lunch.

“Fi stop,” Ian said grabbing her arm. “Have a hit.”

Without thinking she snatched the joint from him and took a massive hit, then another, and another. Carl and Debbie made their own lunches and ate breakfast while all three of them didn’t move an inch. It was nice in a way, actually sitting back and not doing anything for a change.

“So, I think the plan is working,” Ian muttered, sitting forward a bit to lean on his knees.

“Yeah? Big bully Ian. Still find it funny.” Lip laughed.

“Yea yea, shut up.”

“What plan?” Fiona questioned.

“Oh, you’ll love this Fi.” Lip chuckled.

“Again, shut up. Most of it was your idea!” He turned towards his older sister. “So ah, there’s this guy and he never pays attention to me, hasn’t in years.”

“Okay?”

“He beats people up and shit, so like I’m doing the same to steal his thunder... And it’s working it’s getting him pissed off and it’s sexy I think he’s gay and he looks nervous around me and I think he likes me but I don’t know yet.-”

“Ian, Ian fucking breathe man,” Lip ordered smacking his arm.

He took a few deep breaths letting his siblings go over everything he had confessed about his current situation. He probably seems like such and idiot and a dork for doing something so stupid. Fuck.

“So, you’re beating people up and being a little shit?”

“Yeah.”

“So this guy will get pissed and finally pay attention to you?”

“Yeah.”

“And he’s gay?”

“No, I think he’s gay.”

“Why again?”

“He gets nervous around me, I can sense it.”

“Okay. Okay, so what’s the problem?”

“What if- What if he isn’t gay and he thinks I’m disgusting if I go too far or what if he is gay but thinks I'm ugly or what if he can sense I’m not really a smartass, thug asshole and tells me to fuck off because I’m pathetic or what if I say the wrong thing-”

“Fuck, oh my god sweet face breathe.”

He took long deep breaths again waiting for someone the break the silence. Literally anyone.

“You’re such a dork,” Lip commented.

Besides him.

“First you’re not ugly or pathetic, and if he is gay and likes you then he’d probably find it cute at the effort you put in,” Fiona said trying to cheer him up.

“Or, he’ll think I’m a desperate fuck and won’t like me.”

“Ian-”

“I’m going to school.” Ian cut off jumping off the couch. “Coming lip?”

“Yeah. Kids, you ready?”

“Carl bit me!” Debbie complained.

“I didn’t do shit!”

“Carl! Language!” Fiona warned.

* * *

He made a new friend today, Mandy, she was outgoing, incredibly beautiful and extremely flirtatious. She wore dark clothes with ripped jeans, her hair was dark brown, close to black with a fringe and she had this cute nose piercing that complimented her extremely well. After he told her he’s gay, (not caring if anyone heard and started bullying him for a change) she cut back a bit on the flirting, strictly staying in the friend zone. Which was exactly what he needed, a friend. He didn’t have many of those. None actually. The only person he actually talked to and told all his secrets too was Lip and he’s a dick.

Mandy had switched all her classes because the teachers were either shit or perverts, which worked out good in both their favors. They ditched second period with Lip to get stoned even more in an alley, then in math Mandy filled out all Ian’s work. He didn’t understand why someone would voluntarily do someone else’s work until Mandy explained that her asshole older brother pays her to do his work so she’s sort of smart for a tenth grader.

They were heading to P.E. now, tremendously slow it was ridiculous. Neither of them wanted to go but the fucking P.E. teacher saw them in the hall when they were about to ditch ten minutes earlier, so of course, they have to go.

“GOT MY MONEY BITCH?!” Someone roared from around the corner.

Mandy’s eyes widened as a massive smile appeared on her lips, Ian just peered around the lockers to see if it was who he thought it was. Yep, it was.

“I can go get my ak right now! Huh, you want that?”

“Thought it was assault rifles.” The kid snorted.

Mickey punched him straight in the stomach making him tumble over onto the floor. No one was around except the four of them which made things weird. Doesn’t Mickey usually bash guys when there’s a crowd?

“Shut the fuck up! Where’s my fucking money?!” Mickey roared as he grabbed his shirt and pinned him against the lockers.

 _Oh, this is real shit. Probably something to do with drugs._ Suddenly Ian had an idea, a very stupid idea that will probably earn him a punch in the face but it was the best he had. He left Mandy hiding around the corner and waltzed up to Mickey and this mysterious stranger with a grin on his face and his hands shoved into the pockets of his jeans. He looked like one of those top shit kids with an FBI attitude. Mickey hated it. Mickey loved it.

He leaned against the lockers right next to both of them making the boy shiver at his sight. Mickey looked pissed, real fucking pissed like he could just beat the time out of him instead. But regardless, he proceeded.

“Give him his fucking money NOW!” Ian demanded, putting on his ‘scary’ face.

And just like magic, the not so tough boy handed Mickey two hundred bucks with shaky hands and a terrified look. Fuck he isn’t that scary, is he? Sweetface baby Ian is literally scaring the shit out of these kids. Jesus.

“C-Can I go now?”

“Yeah, sure. Fuck outta here. And next time pay up the fucking first time prick!” Ian yelled. “There you go Mick, problem solved. I guess they aren’t as scared of you as you think they are.”

Mickey looked like he was about to pounce on him and fuck up his beautiful complexion, his face was bright red with his fists clenching beside him. Mandy suddenly came into the picture with one arm wrapping around Mickey’s neck and her other around his back, with her face pressed into the crook of his neck.

“Where were you asshole?” Mandy sobbed into his shirt.

He looked surprised and confused like he didn’t know who the fuck this girl was until his face changed to loving and affectionate. He wrapped his arms as tight as he could around her waist and shoulders breathing in her scent like it was his life support.

“Out. I’m okay, really.” Mickey reassured.

_What? Are they, like, together? The fuck is happening right now?_

“I should have stopped him. I’m so sorry dad is like that Mick, you don’t deserve it.”

“It’s alright. Nothing new.”

And that’s when he saw it. The slightly purple bruises just forming on Mickey’s forehead and under his eye. _Who_ hurt _him? Did someone fight him back or something?_

“Iggy went out looking for you. He’s trying to be the ‘big brother’.”

_Okay, siblings. They’re related. Wow. Wait, they’re talking about their dad,... Did he hurt him? Did he do that to his face? That’s so fucked up._

“He’s a fuckhead,” Mickey mumbled as he released her.

“Anyway, this is Ian. Ian this is Mickey.”

“Yeah, I know who he is. He’s a dickhead.” Mickey challenged.

“Yeah? You’re a-”

“Wait how do you’s know each other?” Mandy interrupted.

“Long story Mands. You guys friends or some shit?”

“Yeahhh why?”

“You fucking stoned?” He questioned grabbing onto her face.

“Since when do you care?” Mandy giggled as she pulled her face away.

“Since Gallagher is a fucking bad influence, that’s when.”

All she could do was chuckle, “Mick, we get stoned every fucking day. Calm down, princess.” And then they were both laughing. Ian and Mandy. At Mickey.

“Get to fucking class,” Mickey ordered shoving her in the direction.

“Whatever. Be home tonight, I can’t stand it there without you.” He gave her a small nod never breaking his gaze from Ian. “You coming, Ian?”

“Yep.” He grinned.

He walked past him, brushing their shoulders together while the smug look on his face just grew. Something about getting Mickey pissed off was just so hot. Maybe he was a little too high but he maybe.. sort of.. saw his lip curl up into a smile for a split second. He’s enjoying this too.

* * *

His dad and brothers had gone out of town for a few days on ‘business’ when really it was drug runs or gun shipments. He always wondered why Terry didn’t just come out and say what he was doing, it’s not like he hasn’t taken him on a few trips himself. He hated going with him, he’d rather just do the dealing around the neighborhood instead of actually leaving town, but he always got roped into doing it because his brothers are lazy. Worthless piece of shits. Thank god they went instead of him this time.

The house was all his apart from Mandy coming in and out all the time with random guys. He didn’t mind it that much, as long as they keep it down and she doesn’t end up on sixteen and pregnant. Some days though, he really just wanted to beat the shit out of every guy she brang home because no one should be touching and treating his little sister like that, but Mandy insisted that he stay out of it.

He was laying in bed, as per usual, really in need to rub one out to get out all this built up anger. He stubbed out his cigarette in the ashtray beside him then reached under his bed to grab the ancient laptop that he hadn’t touched in months. It took several minutes for it to actually get started up and connected to their shitty ass wifi but once it had, he immediately googled lesbian porn in an attempt to rid Gallagher out his head.

After scanning all the videos of weird shit he wishes he never saw, he came across ‘TWO HOT BRUNETTES IN LINGERIE’. _Okay sure. Hopefully, this works._ He tore off his black tracksuit pants and underwear with it then shifted on his bed so he was comfortable.

He couldn’t get hard. Not one bit. Not even semi-hard. This is just not his day already. He thought he just needed to get past all the awkward, cringe-worthy make-out session in the beginning, but that wasn’t it. There was something missing. Something that was preventing him from getting an erection.

He started scrolling through all the videos attempting to find something that caught his eye until he came across ‘Jake Bass nails Asher Hawk’. He stared at it, for god knows long, long enough that the battery sign came up warning him to plug it in. He grabbed the cord as he sighed then plugged it into the powerpoint and his laptop. After he got comfortable again he finally entered the video trying to convince himself that it’s just to check the ratings.. or the likes.. or the comments. But no he liked what he saw. He couldn’t take his eyes off Jake, the one with all the sexy tattoo’s, he just kept thrusting into him over and over again from behind. Fuck it was hot, but not enough to get him hard.

He searched his other videos trying to find something although he was unsure of what that something was. ‘Connor Maguire and Jake Bass Flip Fuck- Scene 1’. A redhead. Fuck. He watched the redhead relentlessly pound into Jake with his legs up to his shoulders and his hands wandering everywhere. He studied the look on the tatted guys face, it was absolutely riddled with pleasure, lust and want, like he was living his dream. The ultimate fucking dream.

He was fully hard now and drooling over the way Connor’s big, pink cock disappeared then reappeared in the brunette tight ass. It was beautiful and sexy and everything he wanted. Everything he wanted but could never have. Fucking Terry. He couldn’t stop watching even when he had Terry’s voice screaming in his head telling him how much of a disgrace he is to be his son like he didn’t already know that. Fuck off.

He didn’t even touch himself, just kept watching their faces and cocks, and the way they moved, like god, had intended them to please each other like that. Damn right he had! But then he got really fucking annoyed and angry out of nowhere. Annoyed because the redhead reminded him of that fucking Gallagher that won’t leave his head and the fact that he could never have him, due to his homophobic prick father and the neighborhood he lives in. Angry because he couldn’t get hard at anything else apart from gay porn.. with a ginger.

_Fuck._

He violently slammed the laptop shut and threw it on the floor giving zero fucks if he broke the fucking thing or not, he was too busy drowning to care. He pulled his pants and underwear back on then hid under his covers to try shut off his mind, even for just five seconds he just needed to leave.

He hated himself for being who he is, for being a Milkovich, born in the ghetto with a homophobic abusive father, being raised in this shitty life doing drug runs, getting beaten almost every day but most of all.. he hates himself for being gay. He doesn’t even call himself that, just tells himself he likes dick and just thinks of it as something he wouldn’t mind doing on the side and there’s nothing gay about it. Because if he did admit it.. To himself outloud.. There would be no taking it back. It would be real and then he would be dead. So he tries to brainwash himself into being straight, like god intended.. bullshit. It doesn’t work.

There were some days when he really thought about taking himself out, like right after Terry had beaten him half to death for doing absolutely nothing or when he would start thinking and never stop. He had no reason to be there, no purpose, no dreams, no happiness.. just emptiness. Blackness. Nothing. He is nothing.

In the midst of all is scary, dramatic thoughts, Mandy came bursting in all fucking happy while holding her phone up to her ear.

“M-Mickey?” She hesitated while shaking the bed. “You okay?” All he could do was grunt in response because he just wanted her to leave. He pulled the covers up over his head so the flickering lights from the hallway can’t hurt his eyes. “Mick? Do you want to go out, get some breakfast?”

“Not hungry.” He mumbled.

“You haven’t eaten in two days though.. You should eat.”

“Did I ask for your fucking opinion?” Mickey huffed in response.

“Whatever, I’ll bring you back something.” She pressed her phone back up to her face to speak to whoever was on the phone. “It’s just us, you got weed?”

“Who the fuck you talking to?” Mickey questioned sounding puzzled.

Is it some guy she’s fucking? Why would she want me to go with her if she’s with her boy toy? He shoved the covers off him to sit up and lite up a cigarette he was dying for.

“It’s Ian.”

 _For fuck's sake._ Just like that, he was back to thinking about the flawless redhead again, after desperately trying to forget about him after the porn shit.

“I’m definitely not going then.”

“Whatever.”

“Probably has shit weed too.”

She flipped him off then opened all his curtains making him squint his eyes and curse at her. She slammed his door on the way out leaving Mickey frustrated and a little bit angry that SHE is going to see Ian and not him. What the fuck? He’s supposed to hate the guy.

He was outside on his front porch staring at Ian and Mandy greeting each other on the footpath by throwing their arms around each other. He had just wanted to get some fresh air to clear his head but after he finally got dressed, he walked out here and found this. This of all the shit he could find. A fucking homeless guy smoking crack while wearing a diaper would have been better. Fuck, even his dad would have been better because he couldn’t help but wish he was Mandy in Ian’s arms. Inhaling his scent, been picked up and spun around, being playful and… wait… what the fuck? Did she just kiss him? Or did he kiss her? Was it on the mouth or cheek? Probably cheek, calm the fuck down Mickey, he’s gay. Fuck.

“You decided to come or are you just gonna be emo?” Mandy joked when she noticed Mickey standing there like a creep.

“Fuck off.” He grunted then proceeded to walk past them.

“You okay Mick?” Ian asked sounding really concerned.

“Fuck off.” He repeated, pushing him out the way with his shoulder.

He kept his head down the whole time, he didn’t need to see Gallaghers face even more than he already had or drool over his golden red hair or.. Wait.. did he ask if I’m okay? Whatever. Probably was just being polite anyway. He took one last glance at them both and saw Mandy’s arm wrapped around his waist while Ian did the same. They were too close. Nope, that’s enough. He needed a drink.

* * *

He woke up around one in the afternoon because he didn’t get in until four last night. Fucking Mandy and her drugs and alcohol. She kept talking about all this scientific shit that he didn’t know a thing about. He hates science. Throw him a lesson about the Military or ROTC then he’ll be happy, but she seemed really into it talking about all this chemical bullshit.

He heard yelling downstairs and then something smash and then.. right on cue, Frank’s fucking voice. What the fuck is he doing here this time? He lazily rolled out of bed and found the nearest jeans and t-shirt he could find then followed the loud noises downstairs.

“FUCK OFF FRANK! GET OUT!!” Fiona yelled attempting to shove him out the back door.

“Now that’s no way to treat your father. You should be thanking me.”

“For what? Leaving us starving, freezing, scared on a corner so you can go shoot up, or abandoning all six of your kids and making the eldest one step up, or.. or giving Ian and Lip so many blood noses I lost count. Huh? You want me to thank you for dumping all your shit on me?”

“You should be thanking me for not pulling out and spilling your ungrateful, abortion-should-have-been on your mother's leg!” Frank spat.

“Please, you were too high to pull out.”

“Now that’s beside the point. This is my house too. I can stay here if I fucking want to!”

“No Frank. Get the fuck out.” Ian jumped in, still standing on the stairs.

“Ian! My boy!” He shoved past Fiona to get to Ian. “Now, how is my first born son?”

“Lip is your first born and I’m not even yours.”

“Yeah, he’s the lucky one.” Fiona smiled as she returned to the kitchen.

“You were raised by me so you’re mine.” Frank cheered pulling Ian down from the stairs.

“No, Fiona raised us. Fuck off.”

“Have you got any money on you? Need to pay for some stuff.”

“Your beats? No. GET THE FUCK OUT!”

He quite literally kicked him out on his ass and locked the door behind him so he couldn’t get back in. He turned to Fiona and found he crouching on the floor picking up broken glass. Fuckin Frank. He helped her clean up then headed out the door throwing on a thick jacket over the top of his black t-shirt.

He walked in the kash and grab, ducking his face from Kash in case he tried pulling some weird shit again like he did on his shifts, and went straight to the coolers. He grabbed two-six packs of beer, a whole lot of snacks, milk, and bread. When he went up to the counter Kash was gone and it was just this new kid serving him. Thank god.

Mickey was outside the store watching Kash climb into his car and drive off, fuck knows why. He looked good. Really fucking good. Like breathtaking... mouthwatering, fuckin stop it Ian. He’s probably not even into guys. He did look good though. He was wearing his same old jeans with this black t-shirt that had some weird ass picture and then he had an army green thick jacket over the top.

Some neighborhood kids were headed towards the store so Ian took the opportunity to piss off Mickey by scaring or beating the shit out of them. He didn’t know if his plan was working or not. It did seem a bit stupid though. Who turns into a completely different person just to get someone to constantly think about you? Pathetic.

He left his shit on the counter then walked outside with the creepiest walk of all time. Like the fucking joker or some shit. Surprisingly the boys froze when he had only started this crap, like, a week and a half ago. News travels fast.

He ruffed one guy up and threatened the other all while glancing towards and very angry, pissed off Milkovich that looked like he was going to kill him straight after this. The guys took off in the other direction as fast as they could while Ian leaned against the store window, arms crossed over his chest, staring straight at Mickey. He was practically daring him to come over and do something about it with his fucking smirk and eyebrow twitch. It was sexy as hell. Mickey took off but not before flipping him off... Twice. Satisfied, he collected his groceries then headed home.

Fiona and Lip were nowhere to be seen, Debbie was babysitting a bunch of kids although it wasn’t as many kids as she usually has, and Carl was convincing all the older-ish kids to steal their parents' money. Jesus. He put away all the food, helped his little sister out a little bit, then ran upstairs to take a shower.

Half an hour later he was clean and dressed in his bedroom when Lip stormed into the room and collapsed on his bed. He had blood everywhere, black eye, split lip, and bruises all over his face. What the fuck?

“I hate you,” Lip muttered. “I fucking hate you.”

“Fuck happened to you?” Ian half laughed sitting up a bit.

He grabbed the joints out his drawer expecting this to be an entertaining story. Lip snatched them out his hands and lit up one for himself. After he passed it to Ian he finally explained what happened.

“Your boyfriend..”

“Boyfriend?”

“Mick-Mickey.”

“Wha-He did this to you? What the fuck?!”

“Yep. Said you should know better than to fuck with a Milkovich. I fucking hate you, Ian.”

What the fuck? Did he really just jump Lip because of me? Is this my fault? What am I saying, of course _, it’s my fault. Fuck this he’s not getting away with this, no fucking way._ He stubbed out his joint as fast as he could, leaped up and ran out the room determined to find the fucking asshole who did this. Who the fuck brings family into it?

“Where the fuck are you going?! Ian!” Lip called out.

“Out!”

He ran downstairs, dodging toddlers as he went heading towards the front door.. but not without the bat of course.

* * *

He was crouching on the footpath across the street of the Milkovich house, behind these dumpsters that smelt revolting. He had been waiting for almost an hour now, his legs were starting to hurt so he sat down instead. Soon his ass started hurting.

An hour had passed and he was only just starting to think Mickey wasn’t home. He was playing games on his phone while he waited, occasionally texting Lip at the same time. He kept changing positions, kneeling, sitting, crouching but no matter what something started hurting. He didn’t even know what he was going to do when he found him. Hit him? Verbally abuse him? Fuck knows. He didn’t even want to do this but family is family.

One hour and forty-five minutes was what it took for Ian to give up and go home until Mickey finally came out his house. He was walking oddly fast, his hands were behind his head and he looked... Distraught. Like he needed someone to comfort him. _What? No, he jumped Lip for fuck's sake_.

He was determined to get somewhere so Ian followed close behind, but not too close behind that he could turn around and spot him straight away, and not too far away that he would lose him. He followed him to the Kash and Grab and waited in an alley for Mickey to buy beer, then eventually they came to a stop at the baseball field. Confused he hid so he couldn’t see him and watched as Mickey jumped over the fence. He looked happier there like it’s his personal safe place. _Does he come here all the time?_

He walked closer just to get a better view of his flawless face. He was looking around at the grass and then the bleachers with a gorgeous smile on his face that made Ian smile even more. _What’s so special about this place?_

Suddenly his face dropped and he looked sad again. The fuck? No!! Where did his smile go? He frowned, leaned on the wall in the bleachers and slid down to he was basically curled up in a ball. He popped a lid off of a beer and took a massive mouthful while Ian debated interrupting this moment. He saw Lip’s beat up face in his head and decided to go for it, Mickey is a dick. He climbed the fence which was quite hard with a bat in your hand then turned around to Mickey who looked surprised, confused and angry all at the same time. Even his eyebrows looked angry.

 

_JOINT POV_

 

“What the fuck are you doing here?!” Mickey half-yelled, not moving an inch from where he was sitting.

“YOU JUMPED MY FUCKING BROTHER, ASSHOLE!” Ian yelled back pointing the bat straight at his face.

“You wouldn’t fucking listen. Gonna listen now ginger?”

“No.”

And that’s when he noticed more new bruises on his face, they were only faint like they were just developing, but they were there. “What happened to your face? Lip got a couple undercuts in?”

“No fuckhead. He wishes.”

“So what happened?”

At first, he thought about actually giving in and telling him what had happened and about his life, but he didn’t want to be a little bitch about it. So what if your dad uses you as his own personal punching bag literally all the time? So what if you feel so alone and depressed every second of the day and actually debate suicide. So what if you can’t be who you are and like who you like because your own father would kill you? *Sigh*

“None of your fucking business. Fuck off.”

“No, you still jumped Lip.”

“Yea, what are you gonna do about it huh? You gonna hit me?” He was standing now while provoking Ian. “Come on tough guy. Hit me. You wanna be tough, prove it, bitch! Hit me”

He pressed his chest to the tip of the bat and held his arms out telling.. or begging Ian to do something. Anything. But he didn’t.

“FUCK YOU!” Ian screamed.

He dropped the bat and pushed Mickey into the fence as hard as he could. Mickey bounced off and pushed him back twice as hard, any harder he would have fallen to the ground. “I fucking hate you!” Mickey shouted.

“What?”

“You heard me! I hate you, you prick!”

He’d be lying if his heart didn’t just shatter into a million pieces right there and he swore he felt tears brimming in his eyes. Fuck, not here, not in front of him. You’re not a fucking pussy Ian.

“The only thing I have is power over those annoying fucks at school, but no you had to fucking stroll in and take that away within a week. I HATE YOU.” He didn’t even realize what he was saying until it came out his mouth. “Just fuck off. I don’t need this shit. I just want everyone to fuck off.” He mumbled.

“I didn’t mean to take this from you... I mean.. I didn’t know how much it meant to you... I’m sorry.” Ian apologized avoiding eye contact.

What the fuck has he done?

“You’re, you’re sorry? What the fuck is that going to do me, Ian? I don’t need your fucking apology. I NEED YOU TO GET THE FUCK OUT OF MY HEAD!”

“W-What?” Ian hesitated.

What does that mean? I’m not manipulating him. What is he talking about?

“Nothing. Just go. Leave, please.” He practically begged.

He didn’t want him to leave. Not really. No. No, he came here to defend Lip, not feel sorry for the guy.

“No. You still fucking hurt Lip. I’m not just going to walk away from that.”

“FUCKING HIT ME THEN! FUCK!” He didn’t budge. “What’s the point in coming here if you’re not gonna do a fucking thing?”

He didn’t want to like he REALLY didn’t want to. His face was too precious to destroy and it looked like he had already been hit in the face, so what’s the point? But when Mickey kept pushing him around, provoking him and repeating over and over again that he’s a pussy, he just snapped and hit him square in the face as hard as he could.

At first, he didn’t know he’d actually been hit, but the look on Ian’s face and the fact that he fell flat on his ass proved otherwise. He was kind of surprised that Ian had actually punched him. He stumbled to his feet then touched his left cheekbone, surprised that it felt numb. Guy got a good hit.

He was holding back tears. Just watching Mickey touch his face where he had just hit him made his stomach turn. He shouldn’t have hit him. He hadn’t regretted something so much in his life. He tried to remain calm and tough like he always had around him, but it was hard and he couldn’t tear his eyes away from Mickey.

Of all the times he’s been hit, kicked, beaten, broken… This was the only time he had actually felt something. Something weird. Like… relieved? No that’s not the word. Pleased. He was pleased Ian hit him. Weird.

He felt something wet drip from his cheekbone down to his lip. Am I fuckin bleeding? He touched his lip with his finger then looked at his hand to confirm what it was. Blood. Fuck, it really was a good hit.

He’s bleeding. Fuck. Wait.. is he smiling? Why is he smiling? What the fuck?

He didn’t know why he was smiling, but he was… and fuck it felt incredible. He licked his lip to remove the dripping blood then dashed forward to hit Ian back. He punched him right on the jaw but not as hard incase he actually hurt him. Fair's fair right?

Ian stumbled backward, grabbing onto the railing to keep himself upright. The punch sent a shock throughout his whole body because he wasn’t expecting a punch back after that smile. He leaped forward, punching Mickey in the stomach then fell to the ground when Mickey pushed him off and punched him in the throat.

“FUCK YOU!” Mickey spat.

The younger man quickly collected himself then charged towards Mickey grabbing onto his beautiful throat and pinning him up against the fence.

“Fuck you, Ian!” Mickey repeated, trying to fight him back.

It was useless fighting back. Ian was strong, really strong, he could see the outline of his muscles through his t-shirt. It was sexy. His fingers were digging into his neck and his body was pressed up against his. He tried peeling his hand off his neck while remaining angry but again it was useless and he kind of liked the contact.

Ian was so close to him now, he could feel the heat coming off of his body and combine with his. He could smell old cigarettes, beer, and vanilla body lotion? It didn’t matter what he smelt like in the end because even if he smelled like shit, Ian would like it.

He couldn’t tear his eyes away from the older man’s ocean blue eyes, they were fucking beautiful. He studied his face while keeping his grip tight around his neck. He noticed faint freckles spread across his flawless skin, his dark, perfectly shaped eyebrows spoke for themselves, his cute little nose was so adorable and he just wanted to kiss every inch of it and lastly, he noticed Mickey lick and bite his lip. Fuck.

All this was too much, way too much. Ian was looking at him in a way he never thought he would be looked at. He was pinned up against the fence by his throat and pressing his body up against his, basically trapping him. He didn’t know what to do. He’d given up fighting a while ago and just stood there waiting for the gorgeous redhead to hit him, kick him.. Anything. Anything else but this because he was.. Fuck.. he was….

He felt something hard press against his crotch. Confused he looked down and his eyes widened when he realized what it was. He looked but up at Mickey and saw shame and embarrassment spread across his red face with glassy eyes. He loosened his hand and rubbed his Adam's apple with his thumb.

“Mick,” Ian whispered in a husky voice, looking him straight in the eye. “Are you hard?”

“What?! No fuck.”

He was finally able to shove him off ignoring the amused look on Ian’s face, grabbed his beers then basically teleported across the baseball field, away from Ian. He felt so exposed, so humiliated and embarrassed. What if Ian tells people? What if it gets around and Terry finds out? Fuck, what do I do? Should I threaten him? No, that would probably make him want to tell people even more. Shitttt.

He half walked and half ran all the way home trying desperately to forget what had happened back there. He just wanted to curl up in a ball in his bed and never think again. He never wanted to leave his bed but of course a couple seconds after he got comfy Terry burst into his room.

“Where the fuck were you?!” He asked while kicking shit in his room.

“Out,” Mickey answered trying not to sound weak.

“Out?” He laughed, “Out the boy answers.” *Laughs again* “OUT WHERE?!”

_Fuck. Think fast._

“Trying to find buyers for the cocaine shipment coming in.” He lied.

“Find any, boy?!”

He sat up coming face to face with his father then noticed he had been drinking and he smelled like literal shit. “A few. Should get back to me soon.” He lied again.

“Good. Iggy has food. Come eat.” Terry ordered as he started leaving.

“I’m not hungry,” Mickey mumbled.

“The fuck was that?!”

“I’m not really hungry,” Mickey repeated curling his body up to make himself as small as possible.

“YOU UNGRATEFUL LITTLE SHIT!” Terry raged, slamming his hand on the doorframe. “Your brother went out and bought food for all of us, so get your fucking ass up and come eat!”

And just like that, he was up and out of bed at the sound of Terry’s booming voice. The one person in the world that has the power to make him tremble at the sound of their voice, is Terry. He hated it, he hates Terry, he just doesn’t have the balls to stand up to him.. yet. But he fucking dreamed of it, believe me. If he had a bucket list that would be at the very top.

“Mick Ig bought KFC and chinese, what do you want?” Mandy asked from the kitchen table.

They were both seated dividing out all the food that he didn’t want to eat but of course, had too. His dad was near the stove staring at the scene so he was forced to answer the ‘right’ answer instead of telling his sister he didn’t want to eat.

“Chinese.”

He sat down either side his siblings and helped out so Terry didn’t comment about him being lazy or something stupid like that. Terry’s phone started ringing to he stormed off to answer it making a whole show on the way out. Typical.

“I don’t want much,” Mickey whispered.

“Yeah, I know Mick. You never do.” Mandy whispered back. “You should start eating more. You’re starting to look like a rake.”

“Thanks, douchebag.” Mickey half smiled trying to make a joke out of it.

“No really Mickey, if you’re starving yourself you really should rethink that. There’s lots of dangerous, serious shit that can go wrong. Loss of muscle mass which is the breakdown of the muscle fibers for use of energy

Serious disruption to endocrine function or normal patterns of hormone expression,.. sex hormones, appetite hormones etc

Organ damage such as heart problems like bradycardia where your heart rate slows. Brain damage can also occur and cause you to have seizures, which for the record I do not what to see, confusion and nerve damage. Sometimes your organs completely fail.”

“Where the fuck did you learn all that?” Mickey chuckled completely ignoring her comment that he’s starving himself. He’s not.

“School.” She smiled.

“What? No, you didn’t. I never even learned that shit.” Iggy laughed playfully punching her in the arm.

“Well maybe if you actually paid attention half the time then you’d learn something.”

“I do smartass.”

“Yeah, right.”

“So you’re into all this fucking health shit then?” Mickey asked while taking a small bite of his food.

“Nah I’m more into chem.”

“Chem?”

“Chemistry Iggy. Fuck you’re stupid.” Mickey insulted throwing a noodle at him.

“Oh, says the person that didn’t recognize himself on a wanted poster.” Iggy huffed.

“Fuck you! I was sixteen. Asshole.”

“Yeah, almost two years ago, bigggg difference.”

Ahhh, fuck he gets him mad! He fisted his fists together and tried to calm himself down.

“Iggy fuck off, Mickey calm down before dad gets back,” Mandy demanded placing a hand on her shoulder.

He flinched at her touch and she recoiled her hand back quickly knowing she shouldn’t have touched him. He never likes to be touched.

“Sorry.” She apologized, her voice as quiet as a mouse.

“It’s fine.” Mickey retorted shaking it off. He went back to taking small bites of his food. “So this chem shit you really into it?”

“Since when do you care what I’m doing or what I like?” Mandy snorted.

“Just answer the fucking question.”

“Yeah. Hopefully, I'm smart enough to major in something to do with Chemistry.”

“Collage? Jesus Christ.” Mickey sighed.

“What? I’m not good enough?!” Mandy snapped dropping her food on her plate.

“Nah just never thought a Milkovich would actually go to college. It’s not like the rest of us will be going anywhere.”

“Hey fuck you.” Iggy interrupted while chewing his food. “I could go to college.”

“Yeah doing what. You dropped out in the tenth grade and the only thing you’re remotely good at is selling huge amounts of drugs.” Mickey said eyeing a piece of food he’d picked up.

“Could do something with science too. Learn out to cook drugs instead of selling.”

“Good luck with that.” Mickey snorted. “Mands give me a test on what you know.”

Her face literally lit up like a Christmas tree in a house full of kids. It was beautiful. She’s beautiful. “Ah okay. Um, What’s the reaction of silver ion with chloride ion in water solution?”

Silence and a lot of confused faces what the answer she got.

“Precipitation. Okay, next one. What has electrons in orbitals? Ar, O, S, Ti, or U?”

No answer.

“U. What combinations would create a buffer solution out of Weak acid, Weak acid conjugate base, strong acid, strong base, weak base, weak base conjugate base?”

“How many answers are there?”

“Two.”

“Ah fuck, uhm... Strong base and weak acid?”

“Wrong. One more guess.”

“Ah, the weak acid’s conjug-whatever the fuck base and the strong acid.”

“Wrong. Iggy?”

“Weak base, weak acid. I don’t fucking know.”

“Nope, you guys suck. Weak acid and weak acid’s conjugate base. Weak base and weak base’s conjugate acid.”

“Well, that's some useless information.” Iggy snickered.

“Well you could have left. Mickey asked because he actually gives a fuck.”

“Don’t think he gives a fuck. Never has.”

“Well, it’s nice that he does now..”

Okay, he’s done the big-little brother thing enough for today, time to go sleep or lay in bed doing absolutely nothing for the next few hours. He left them both there with his half eaten plate of food and dodged Terry in the hallway, rushing to get to his room.

He stayed under the covers for the whole night wishing he never left the house that day. Wishing he had never gotten hard from Ian’s body pressed up against his. Wishing Ian would just forget about it but he knew that would never happen.

Mandy came in a few times to ask if he was okay and if he wanted to talk about it, but he just calmly and kindly rejected her asking her to leave him alone. He wanted to sleep without being disturbed even if he wasn’t sleeping anyway. Maybe on another planet or alternate universe, he could be happy. Happy and gay. Happy and gay and with Ian. Ian Gallagher.

* * *

He was beyond confused with his last interaction with Mickey that when he got home he just went upstairs to think everything through and ask himself a hundred questions. Was that real? Was I imagining it? Is badass Mickey Milkovich really gay? Maybe it was just a weird body thing that reacts to any sort of violence. That’s fucked up.

Lip walked in clutching his face and asked him what had happened. Did he find him? Did he hit Mickey? Did Mickey hit him? Why did it take so long?... Etc. He lied and just said he never found him to save explaining why he didn’t do anything. Lip wouldn’t take it seriously, he’d just laugh in his face.

The next few days went by extremely slowly and he hadn’t seen the brunette at all. He hadn’t seen him at school since the week before and it was now Thursday. He didn’t bash or threaten anyone leaving that to Mickey because his words really hit him hard, ‘I hate you’, he never wanted to hear that again. He hadn’t seen him hanging around the neighborhood or even in his house. He went to visit Mandy hoping he’d see Mickey but he wasn’t anywhere to be seen. Mandy wouldn’t give away much, just said he’s probably in his room sleeping like always.

He wanted to see him. Confront him about what happened. Tell him there’s nothing to be ashamed of and it’s okay to be who you are. He was about 99% sure it would earn him a smack in the mouth but at least someone had said it to him right?

After ROTC and his cringe shift at work, he headed to the Milkovich house to see Mandy but really check if Mickey was there. He knocked a couple times until Iggy answered the door aggressively. “What?!”

“Ah, uhm... Is Mandy here?” Ian mumbled.

“MANDY IT’S FOR YOU!”

He walked off leaving the door wide open so Ian just strolled in, shutting the door quietly behind him. Mandy appeared in the hallway signaling for him to follow her into her room. He really didn’t want to be there long.

“Thought you had work..” Mandy said while packing up the books on her bed.

“Kash let me off early. I think he’s trying to get with me..” Ian confessed.

“Shh, keep it down. If my dad hears this ‘gay talk’ he’ll kill us both.” Mandy whispered. “I support it completely but you just can’t talk about it here okay?”

“Yeah sure.”

_Is that why Mickey freaked out the other day? His dad? It’s not like I’d tell anyone._

“Sorry. Anyway, what are you doing here?”

“Missed you. Only had one class together today.” He smiled pulling her into a tight hug.

“You smell nice, like cologne. You have a date or just trying to impress me?” Mandy laughed, hugging him back.

“Just you Mands.”

He made small talk with her for a few minutes and listened to her go on about Chem.. then Math.. then she asked a whole lot of questions about ROTC and this whole officer thing he wants to be. He really got into that subject.

“Mandy!” A scary voice yelled.

_Who's that?_

“What dad?!” Mandy screamed back.

“Where the fuck is your brother?!”

“Which one?”

“The one with the mouth!”

“Mickey?" She guessed, "He left about half an hour ago.”

“Where’s my fucking beers?!”

“He took them.”

“FUCKING INGRATE!”

He slammed her door open making it almost come off the hinges. Ian flinched and jumped back further on the bed while Mandy didn’t move one bit. “What now Terry?” Mandy sighed.

“Who the fucks this? Your boyfriend?!”

“Nah just a friend. His names Ian, Ian this is Terry.”

“Nice to meet you.” Ian gulped trying not to look at Terry’s judgemental face. “I should go, Fiona's expecting me.”

“Oh okay. See you at school tomorrow!”

“Yea, see ya.”

He sort of shoved past Terry and ran out that house as fast as he could. Fuck, just a couple seconds with the man and he was scared shitless. What is it about him that has you shaking in your boots? Jesus.

 _So Mickey wasn’t home where would he be? Local shops stealing shit? Finding random people to kick the shit out of? The baseball field! He’s got to be there right?_ He texted Fiona telling her he’d be home late and would probably miss dinner then took off to go find Mickey.

__

* * *

_Joint POV_

He was sitting in the same spot throwing rocks against the fence while drinking his beers and smoking a cigarette. He looked upset again. Why does he always look so upset? Ian walked around the field so he could jump the fence without Mickey seeing or hearing him. To be honest, he didn’t know what he was going to say or do once he reached him. He just wanted to hear his voice.

When he approached him, Mickey didn’t notice him for a few seconds which gave him more time to think about what he was going to say. He decided not to say anything and DO something instead. Hopefully, Mickey doesn’t go ballistic.

He wasn’t really paying attention to his surroundings until he saw a shadow move on his left. He turned to see Ian just standing there staring at him, looking hot as hell. Fuck. He’s not doing this. Not today. He dramatically rolled his eyes, making sure that Ian had seen then grabbed the rest of his beer. He stood up to walk away from Ian, smoking the last drag of his cigarette then throwing it onto the floor.

Mickey brushed past him shoving him in the shoulder then Ian flipped him around, grabbed onto the collar of his shirt and pinned up against the fence like last time.

“What the fuck?!” Mickey yelled as he dropped his beer. He grabbed onto both his hands to pin them down beside his head then pressed his body against Mickey’s again. Just like he liked it.

“GET THE FUCK OFF ME GALLAGHER!” Mickey spat.

He had a smirk spread across his face watching Mickey try to get away. It was oddly fascinating watching a guy try to say he was one thing when he was another. The proof was right in front of him, pressing up against his crotch and staring at him in the eye.

Without noticing it he was leaning his body forward to press up against Ian’s even more. After he stopped trying to break free, Ian loosened his hands a little bit hoping he wouldn’t move. He didn’t. He trailed his right hand down the middle of the older man's chest, watching his face in awe. Mickey closed his eyes and bit down on his lower lip every second he got closer... And closer... And...

He freed his hands and smacked Ian’s away from his belt. He didn’t want to but he did. Ian pushed him back up against the fence, pressing their foreheads together and worked fast at undoing his belt. Mickey’s hands were trying to stop him... then they weren’t.

Ian eagerly shoved his hand down Mickey’s pants grabbing his rock hard cock and grinning when Mickey threw his head back and gasped. He suddenly felt so exposed and insecure when his pants and boxers fell to his knees. Ian wouldn’t look anywhere but his face so he didn’t need to be, but he couldn’t help it.

Ian grabbed onto his face with his free hand while keeping a steady pace, jerking him off with the other. He couldn’t tear his eyes away from Mickey’s sexy facial expressions, there were so many but his favorite was when he’d throw his head back, nibble his lip and furrow his eyebrows. Fuck. He loved making him feel good and loved hearing him moan from his touch but he wanted more. He wanted to see more.

“Touch yourself,” Ian demanded, letting go is his dick but keeping his eyes glued to his.

“W-What?” Mickey choked out.

“Touch yourself.”

“The fuck? No!” He refused.

He stood back a bit to get a good look at the adorable, sexy man in front of him, and fuck was he fucking gorgeous.

“Please?” Ian begged trying to be cute.

“You’re not cute,” Mickey said reaching down to pull up his pants.

“Aren’t I? Please, Mick.”

With a sigh he dropped his pants again and closed his eyes, preparing himself to be completely humiliated and embarrassed. He leaned back and started stroking himself never opening his eyes to see Ian watching him. He felt weird and VERY exposed at the thought of Ian just standing there watching but another part of him found it extremely hot. He’d rather Ian jerk him off but he’d do pretty much anything he asked right about now.

“Open your eyes.” Ian requested.

Except that. He didn’t want to feel any more on display then he already does.

He shook his head no while biting down on his bottom lip. He swore if he bit down any harder he’d bleed.

“Open your eyes,” Ian repeated in a more demanding voice.

He still shook his head no.

“Please?” The younger man begged.

Okay, but who can resist that voice? Something about Ian begging in that adorable little voice made his heart skip a beat. He opened his eyes like he was his fucking submissive, doing every single thing he commands.

Standing there watching this man pleasure himself while staring straight into his eyes, was just about the sexiest thing he’s ever seen. He was extremely hard just from watching that it was almost painful. He swore he was going to bust just from staring at this, but it’s not about him right now, it’s about Mickey.

He didn’t know what came over him that made him say this but all he knew was that he wanted Ian to take over. “Touch me…” Mickey moaned.

Say no more.

He dove forward, dropping to his knees then smacked Mickey’s thrusting hand away from his cock. Mickey thought he was going to jerk him off but when he felt those warm, wet lips wrap around the tip of his dick, he let out a gasp and thought he was going to die right there. _Fuck._

He smiled around Mickey’s gorgeous, glistening dick then continued to go down even further till he reached the back of his throat. He moaned, making his throat contract and massage his cock, which made Mickey shudder and grab onto the fence behind him. He pulled back, swirling his tongue around his knob, licking off every bit of precum. He pulled off and licked down the side of Mickey’s shaft all the way down to the base then went back to bobbing his head.

He continued this cycle, bobbing his head, deepthroating, massaging his cock, licking up the side or just teasing the fuck out of him by keeping his lips wrapped around the tip of his dick, until he was begging for more. It was sexy as fuck! Mickey had never ever been sexually involved with a guy in his whole life, so now, at seventeen nine months and five days he can finally say he has.. with a sophmore. He was in the best heaven anyone could describe. He never wanted this to end.

He found his hands fisting Ian’s hair once he looked down at him. He hadn’t even noticed he’d moved but it didn’t bother him because Ian was staring up at him as he worked his cock. Fuck. That was all he needed to push him over the edge.

“I’m.. gonna..” Mickey warned as he moaned.

He pulled off licking up everything he had to offer, then swallowed it as he came face to face with Mickey. He looked worn out and completely wrecked. He was panting heavily while looking Ian straight in the eye and pulling up his pants again.

Ian leaned in to finally kiss him back Mickey recoiled his head and turned to the side. With a sigh, he grabbed onto the sides of his face and settled for a kiss on the top of his head instead. It wasn’t really a kiss to be honest, he just pressed his lips against his forehead. It was nice in a way.

He wanted to wrap his arms around him or do something to show affection but something was stopping him. It was like his body was just against him. Wait he should help Ian out now right?

“You don’t have to be ashamed of who you are Mick.” Ian whispered.

Or not.

“Fuck off. You don’t know shit about me!” Mickey hissed.

“I know more than you think… I know who you are and you don’t have to hide anything when you’re around me.”

He didn’t want to push him any further than he has today and he was in serious need of taking care of his own hard on so he left. He inhaled his scent then walked off leaving Mickey confused, wrecked and shaken under the bleachers.

He didn’t know what to do with himself so he just slid back down to the ground and lit up another cigarette. If he thought he couldn’t get Ian out of his head before then he was in for a fucking mother of a head fuck this time around.


	2. Blondie

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So has anyone watched the good doctor? If not you should watch it. It's freaking amazing! Cannot stop crying.

Once he'd gotten home from the baseball field that night, Terry was up waiting for him at the kitchen table. He tried dodging him completely, hoping not to face his homophobic father after committing a crime in Terry's books. He didn't want him to sense it on him or see the shame behind his eyes because he didn't want to die painfully and brutally.

"Mickey, come here boy!" Terry demanded.

_For_ fuck's _sake._

"Fuck off Terry. I'm tired."

"GET YOUR UNGRATEFUL ASS IN HERE!" He demanded.

He did exactly what was asked of him then completely regretted it once he saw the big, black leather belt that he was holding onto over the table. Fuck. He tried bolting away but he felt a strong hand grab the back of his neck really fucking hard.

"Fuck." He muttered.

"Sit the fuck down boy!"

He sat as soon as he was released and started rubbing the back of his neck where Terry's nails had dug in. This is it. He knew he was either going to get the beating of a lifetime or he was going to die. He'd rather fucking die than go through that shit again. He just knew Terry could see it on him, could smell the faggot on him. All he wanted to do was drown in the shower, attempting to wash off all the shame.

"You're brothers are gone." Terry finally said, taking a seat next to Mickey.

_Gone? As in dead? Did he fucking kill them?_

"Wha-what?" He stuttered. "The fuck did you do?!"

"Speak properly!" He yelled smacking him over the head. "Your brothers are gone on a job, and you're coming with me."

"Where?"

"On a job."

"What kinda job?"

"Herion."

"For fuck's sake." He sighed, rubbing his nose with his knuckles. "Why couldn't Colin go with you?"

_Fuck._

"Because he's on another fucking job with your brothers, you ungrateful twat!"

"Why couldn't I go with them instead?"

He's digging his own grave here.

"Because you were out when they all left. You're the youngest anyway, you don't know shit. I need to teach you properly."

"Why can't you fuckin do it yourself?"

Fuck. He really shouldn't have said that.

"DID YOU FORGET EVERYTHING I'VE TAUGHT YOU?" He raged jumping out of his seat.

"Shit, no sorry. I'll be your lookout." Mickey said scrambling words together while holding his arms up to protect his face.

"Good. Pack some shit, we'll be gone awhile."

_Oh..._

 

So over the past week, he's been his look out for selling, buying, shipments everything.. when all he wanted to do was be home asleep or at least at the bleachers with or without a redhead. He was convinced this was all just a cover and he was going to snap at the very last minute and kill him for being a faggot, but so far it seemed weirdly fine.

He would get off his face on all sorts of drugs while Mickey strictly stayed with snorting coke, instead of all this needle shit that Terry does. Then he would pass out in the car while Mickey starved not knowing where to closest shop is. Make him be his lookout all day without giving him a single cent, even though he said he was going to teach him properly. He'd hit him a couple times but nothing too severe, unless you count that time he punched him hard enough to form a massive bruise. Yep. That's fine in the Milkovich world. What pissed him off though is Terry would black out and do this shit, so obviously he loves to bring pain upon his children. He woke up the next day asking what the hell happened to his face. Fucking prick.

The whole time he couldn't stop thinking about Ian. Where his hands and mouth had been, what they had done, how amazing it felt and his perfect green eyes. He wanted to hate Ian for what happened because he didn't want to admit what he wants and he didn't want to be thinking about that sort of shit. He didn't want these gay urges or fantasy's about him either. He doesn't want to be a faggot.. he doesn't want to be Mickey.

* * *

He hasn't seen or heard from Mickey in a week and two days-not that he was counting. He hadn't really expected to hear from him, that boy is so deep in the closet he may never come out, but he did expect to see him around school at least once. Even Mickey Milkovich shows up to school one day a week, so it was kinda odd.

He'd sit on the baseball field, in the bleachers for hours on end, praying that Mickey would show up because it obviously is his favorite spot. But nope, nada. He didn't see him around the neighborhood beating kids up, or at stores stealing shit and he was starting to get extremely worried.

He'd gone over to the Milkovich house with the excuse to see Mandy but he was still nowhere to be seen. No one was there really, it was just Mandy all alone and that was odd too. Usually, Terry and all Mandy's older siblings were there unless they were down at the Alibi getting wasted. Yeah, that's probably where they were.

He decided to try not to think about him anymore and just wait for him to show back up when he pleased, instead of walking around the fucking neighborhood, looking for someone that clearly.. doesn't want to be found.

He went to school the next day with Lip and Mandy trying to distract himself for a little bit. It was their lunch break and they were all standing outside in the courtyard talking shit about everyone. Ian wasn't really, it was mainly Lip and Mandy talking shit about each other, pointing out each other's insecurities, teasing, etc.

Anyone with a brain could tell they were into each other but tried covering it up with insulting each other. Lip usually just goes for whoever he wants so the fact that he's acting like this was very strange.

"Oi Lip, you still screwing Karen?" Ian asked interrupting whatever conversation they were having.

He actually wanted to know what the fuck was going on here. If he was still seeing her then he's just being an asshole, but if he's not then maybe he actually likes Mandy.

"Fuck you, Ian." Lip spat shoving him in the shoulder causing him to just smile in amusement. 

"Wait, Karen? As in Karen Jackson? You're screwing that skank?" She chuckled. "Jesus Lip. You could do better than that."

"Yeah? Like who?"

"Take your pick," Mandy answered nodding to a group of blonde girls a couple feet away from them. "You like?"

"No. I rather brunettes." He smirked.

"Karen was blonde Lip." Ian pointed out.

He shot him the 'shut the fuck up' glare making Ian grin from ear to ear.

"Ok, whatever. Over there then. I bet she'll reject your ass."

"I bet she won't."

"Oh really? Wanna put money down on this?"

"Alright, fifty bucks says she fucks me." Lip grinned.

"Okay, fine. Fifty bucks says that guy over there.. fucks.. me." She pointed towards some sexy jock wearing a football uniform with a bunch of his mates.

"K. First one to get a fuck-with evidence-wins."

"You're on." Mandy turned back towards Ian and hooked her arm through his. "Wanna go get lunch?"

"Yeah sure." Ian beamed, much happier than ten seconds ago.

They were about to abandon Lip or let him trail behind until someone called out Mandy's name. "Mickey?!" Mandy squealed running in the opposite direction.

He turned around just in time to see Mandy fling herself at Mickey and him struggling to stay upright. It was the cutest bonding he's ever seen. You can clearly see the love here.

Mickey was still so fucking sexy even when he had bruises covering his forehead. He raked his fingers through her hair as they inhaled each other's scents, moving from side to side.

"Jesus, I was only gone a week." Mickey chocked out, fighting for oxygen. "Mandy I can't fucking breathe."

She pulled away looking confused as all fuck.

"When did you get back?"

"Ah, half hour ago."

_Where the fuck did he go?_

"What are you doing here? It's lunch."

"Needed to get away from Terry.."

She nodded in response knowing exactly why he needed to get away from him. "You smell like barbecue sauce." She joked in an attempt to change the subject.

"Smell like what?!" He pinched her nipple through her black shirt, twisting it until she was clawing at his face and pulling his hair.

"What did dad tell you?!" She yelled, pushing off him.

"Fuck the police?"

He seemed different, carefree, radiant and excited like he was the happiest person in the world that had no responsibilities or problems. _Why is he like this?_

"Are you high right now?" Mandy questioned checking his pupils.

Ian and Lip just stood there awkwardly looking back and forth wondering if they should just leave or not.

"Yeah what's it to you?" He laughed.

Oh _, that's why._

"Weed?"

"Nah.."

"Coke? Are you fucking retarded?! Why come here when you're off your face you fucking stupid fuck!"

"I'm hungry and I miss you. Comee with mee." Mickey begged.

"You're such a fucking girl when you're high."

"You gonna come or not?"

"I was gonna go eat with Ian, tag along if you want."

He looked over to Lip and Ian and studied Ian from head to toe, tilting his head to the side, lip curling up a little. Ian felt weird and a bit cocky so he smirked back, licked his lips while looking him up and down.

"Yeah.. no," Mickey said shaking his head. "He's an asshole so is his brother. I'll go eat with Ig."

_Fucking prick._

"Okay, whatever." He started walking off when Mandy called out again. "Oi assface, no more till I get home."

_No more coke? She does coke? What the fuck is Mickey doing on coke anyway? Jesus fucking christ._

"Can't promise shit." He giggled. Like actually fucking giggled. Holy fuck.

* * *

The next day he actually showed up at school, granted it was only half the day but it was progress. He felt like shit, his muscles ached and felt on fire, he could barely focus on anything the fucking teachers gave him and everyone was irritating him. Walking down the hall full of loud, cheery hipsters definitely did not help his pounding head. The handful of aspirin he took earlier that day was falling him miserably at this very moment.

Suddenly he was being pulled back into a crowd surrounding what seemed to be a fight. He pushed his way to the front so he could see who the fuck it was causing this scene. Anger washed over him once he saw Ian pinning a guy up against the lockers by his throat.

A massive, wolfish smile spread across his face once he saw Mickey in the corner of his eye. He tightened his hand around the poor guy's neck causing him to sputter out curse words. Anyone watching this would think Ian was an evil, abusive, bully who gets kicks out of bashing people for no particular reason but Mickey could see that's not all he was. He could see it wasn't really who this gorgeous redhead was. But why would he do this then? Is he going through some shit?

Ian released the blonde boy only to give him a hard punch to his stomach, making him tumble over on the floor. Jesus. He could feel his anger flare up now. What doesn't he understand for fuck's sake?!

Ian bent down, bobbing on his knees as he grabbed the guys shirt to bring his face up to his own. He looked extremely scary, like next level shit. He's never seen someone quite as angry.. well besides Terry. I _s this acting or did something actually go on here?_

"Don't EVER talk shit about HIM again!" Ian yelled. "UNDERSTAND?!"

Him who? The fuck is he talking about?

"Ye-Yea. I-I understand." The poor kid sputtered while tears dripped off his chin to his shirt.

"Good. Get the fuck out of here."

He stood up and walked away from the scene in case any teachers came and put their noses in where it didn't belong. He pushed past Mickey on the way making him pump into some nerd next to him.

"Watch where you're fucking walking prick!" Mickey called out.

Ian turned around for a split second just to give Mickey a cocky smile making his dick twitch in his pants.  _Fuck._

Without thinking he followed the redhead out of the building into the empty courtyard. Jesus, maybe they should actually go to class for once. He seemed a little calmer now, his hands weren't balled up into fights, he wasn't walking in a pissed off way and he could see his breathing had slowed even from a couple meters away.

The way he walked was so goddamn sexy. It was like he knew someone was watching him so he put on a show. He was walking oddly slow even though not even thirty seconds ago he was raging in the hallway, beating some blonde fucker up.

His hips were swaying from side to side like a gentle breeze as he placed one foot in front of the other-obviously, not a deliberate move. His black t-shirt hugged his back perfectly well showing off his muscles in his shoulders and upper back. 

He looked very gay and sexy but masculine and manly at the same time. It was fascinating, in a way that made Mickey's mouth water and hands shake. He wanted to touch him, all of him, but he knew that could never happen as long as Terry is alive. He'd just know he sinned before he even walked in the door. 

"Gallagher!" Mickey yelled making him stop in his tracks. 

"What?" Ian practically sang turning around so Mickey could see his coyish smile. 

"The fuck was that?! How many times do I have to say it before it sinks into that stupid fucking brain of yours? I beat the shit out of your brother for fuck's sake!" 

"I won't ever stop." He chuckled. 

"Why the fuck not? Can't you go annoy the shit out of someone else? I don't need this."

"As long as you keep getting mad I won't stop."

"Why do you want me mad? What do you get off on it or something?!"

He couldn't help but hope he did at this point. Ian was just standing there, moving closer and closer, inch by inch, looking intimidating and cocky as hell.

"What if I do Mick?" 

"What?" He breathed, eyes focused on the way his body moved. 

He wasn't thinking really... or listening, all he could focus on was Ian's sparkly green eyes, his flaming red hair glistening in the sun, his lips curling up into a smirk then his tongue sweeping over his bottom lip. Fuckkkkk. 

"I'd rather get off to sucking your dick," Ian confessed.

He was so close to him now he could hear him breathing and feel it against his skin.

"Fuck off." He snapped turning around to leave. 

"I bet you get off to it too," Ian said a little too loud. 

He did. Every day since. He couldn't stop thinking about it no matter how much he tried. After he came though he'd forget he ever got off to it, well at least he tried like he tried forgetting everything else. 

"Shut the fuck up!" He yelled shoving him in the chest.

"I missed you.." Ian whispered.

Mickey looked away, ignoring what thus stupid redhead had just said. "Just stop beating people up for fuck's sake!"

"What if I had a reason?" Ian asked losing his smile and all cockiness.

"Yeah like, what? Called your prick brother an asshole? Something fucking stupid like that?!"

"More like called you an asshole... "

Me? So he beat that guy up for me? What the fuck? Why? Everyone calls be an asshole. 

"Okay? So what? I am an asshole."

"Wasn't the only thing he said..."

"What could he have said? What? My family is poor? Who's isn't? There's nothing he could have said that I haven't already thought!"

"I doubt that.."

Okay, he's beyond confused now. What could be so bad that Ian would defend his honor? Not that he thought of it that way.

"Lay it on me then Gallagher."

"Rather lay something else on you, Milkovich," Ian said with his smirk returning.

"Don't be a dick. Tell me."

He sighed and raked his fingers through his hair in frustration. _I shouldn't have said anything in the first place, now this guy is gonna get another beating. Jesus._ "If I tell you, promise you won't storm over there and beat the shit out of him."

"If you don't tell me then your the one that I'm gonna give a beating too."

"Oh yeah? I'd love to see that."

"STOP FUCKING STALLING! Tell me!"

_Fuck._  

"He said... He um, He said-"

"He said what for fuck's sake?!"

"He said he thinks your dad's touches you and your other brothers."

He stepped back completely shocked as a processed what Ian told him. Out of everything this fucking guy could have made up he chose this? This of all things?! He seriously made up that the most homophobic guy in the South side is touching his male kids. 

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" Mickey roared. "WHERE IS THIS FUCKER?!"

He stormed off kicking a bin in the process with Ian running after him saying something he wasn't interested in. All he could focus on was fucking up this guy's face so good he wouldn't be able to talk shit.

"Mick. Mick stop." He grabbed onto his shoulder to fling him back. "Mick!"

"FUCKING WHAT?!"

"I took care of it! You don't need to-"

"To what?! Fuck up his face like you didn't?! What you gave him will be NOTHING compared to what I gave him. Believe me!"

He shoved his hand off his arm then continued walking towards the door to the hall. 

"Mickey! Fucking stop!"

He turned back around, getting all up in Ian's beautiful face. "We're the most homophobic family in the Southside! How could he even think that?!"

"That's why he thinks that.."

"What?"

"He thinks... He thinks Terry being homophobic is just a cover for what he really likes." There was no stopping him now. The look on his face was nothing but pure anger and hatred. He fisted his hands together as his face turned bright red then bolted towards the door. "Mick-"

"I'm doing this with or without you Gallagher. Up to you."

_Fuck._

 

The next thing he knew was he was tracking down this guy who obviously went into hiding after Ian came at him. It took a while but when they did he looked terrified and once again there were people crowding around ready for the show.

"The fuck did you say about me?" Mickey asked as he leaned against the lockers with his hands on his pockets.

He crossed one leg over the other and he kept his face serious showing no emotion, not even anger. Ian followed his lead acting all tough and top shit. He placed one hand on the side of the blonde guys head to support his own weight as he leaned against it. He shoved his other hand in his pocket while their victim looked back and forth between the two thinking of ways to escape. Obviously, he couldn't. Milkovich to his left, Gallagher to his right. He's completely trapped.

"I-I.."

"Come on, spit it out blondie. Don't have all day."

"You already know.." He whispered.

"Sorry was was that?" Mickey questioned obviously being a dick.

Ian was full on smiling as he watched the older man scare the shit out of him. He didn't even look at the guy once his eyes were focused on Mickey.

"I said YOU ALREADY FUCKING KNOW?!" He yelled getting all up in the older man's face.

Mickey chuckled as he rubbed his knuckles against his nose getting ready to beat the shit out of this guy. He looked towards Ian to confirm if he was ready too but ended up just smirking at each other.

"I bet you fucking like it too!" He shouted as he pushed Mickey backward.

Ian flung forward grabbing onto his neck, putting him in a headlock so Mickey had easy access. He was clawing at Ian's strong arms and cursing uncontrollably until Mickey collected himself and punched him straight in the stomach. He fell to the floor clutching his belly as he cried out in pain.

"FUCKING PUSSY!" Mickey roared.

He didn't see it coming when Ian kicked the guy in the face he didn't think he had it in him. He did rough people up and pin them up against the lockers but actually kicking someone's face making their head fly back was dangerous and kinda sexy...

He fell onto his back with blood spurting out everywhere while everyone watching gasped in surprise and fright. Mickey kicked him in the stomach twice then backed away as Ian grabbed onto his throat and dragged him up to the wall. He swore his fingernails were quite literally in the guy's neck.

Mickey stormed over again and gave him a punch square in the face causing him to squeal and his knuckles to turn red. There was blood everywhere from his broken nose that all they could see was red on his face and the floor. Ian released his neck only to grab onto his arm and twist it around so he could press his face into the wall.

"AHH! FUCK! I'M SORRY OKAY! I'M SORRY!" The kid cried out while trying to break free from Ian.

"Sure you are fuck head." He tapped Ian's arm telling him to let him go but once he did he pushed him onto the floor. "Now.. tell all these people that you're just full of shit," Mickey demanded, staring down at him.

"I'm full of shit. I made it up." He confessed.

"Now tell them WHY you made this up!" Ian jumped in standing beside the brunette.

He couldn't help but smile. Jesus all he does is smile around Ian.

"W-What?"

"Tell them why you fucking made it up!"

"Ah... I-I..." He stuttered.

"Because you're a faggot who wants to be touched by his daddy," Ian said finishing his sentence.

"What? No!"

"Say it blondie or we'll keep fucking going!" Mickey threatened.

His eyebrows were raised to the fucking sky while he rubbed his knuckles against his nose again. Something about that was so provocative and seductive, it was almost like licking your lips inviting you to lip it for him. Jesus fuck...

"No!"

Ian tore his eyes away from Mickey to land a punch on the blonde guy on the floor before him. He shook his hand, clenching and un-clenching wondering if he fractured it or not. Mickey was about to take a turn until their victim held up his hands begging him not to hurt him again.

"YOU GONNA FUCKING SAY IT?!"

He bent down to his height right beside his face making him squirm at how close they were.

"Yeah... I um.. I'm a faggott.."

"Andd?" Mickey asked raising his hands to get him to continue.

"And I want my daddy to touch me..."

"Never fuck with a Milkovich, you got that?!"

Ian cleared his throat in an attempt to get Mickey's attention. He looked behind him to see Ian awkwardly standing there rubbing the back of his head while he flipped him off with his other blood riddled hand. He rolled his eyes then turned back to blondie.

"And a fucking Gallagher." He added with a little sigh.

"Yeah I, I understand.."

"Good." Mickey smiled, slapping the guys face as a fucked up reward. "Now get the fuck outta here before I change my mind."

Mickey watched him scramble to his feet with an amused smile on his face. He kicked his ass as he ran off making him yelp and run faster. Fucking pussy he is. Once he started looking around at all the people in the crowd they seemed to turn away at a voice behind them. He knew that voice. _Who the hell is it?_

"What's going on in here?!" A small, angry voice asked.

_Fuck. That's a fucking teacher._

He grabbed Ian's arm pulling him in the opposite direction to escape the aftermath of the shit show. Ian wouldn't move though clearly not catching on to the teacher coming their way.

"Gallagher?! Fucking move!"

He finally realized who it was then bolted out the door with Mickey running as fast as they could. With Ian in ROTC, he couldn't afford to get suspended or excluded, that's just out of the question. Mickey on the other hand just doesn't want to sit in a fucking office all day answering questions about why he did what he did then have a whole investigation opened on his dad. Yeah... no thanks.

They ran for what seemed like hours, away from the building, out of the school down streets until they came to an alley way near the Milkovich house. Mickey was laughing his head off walking around in circles while Ian rested his hands on his knees trying to catch his breath.

They looked at each other, blue eyes on green like the first day they ever really spoke. It was beautiful. Two queers bloody and bruised in an alley in the fucking south side, staring at each other like they wanted to tear off each other's clothes. Which of course they did. He couldn't stop looking at his lips and the way he would lick or bite the bottom one, it was so seductive. He could feel himself growing by the second.

"You really like beating people up?" Ian asked after his breathing slowed.

He didn't want to talk, he'd rather do many other things but Mickey would just freak out especially in a public place so close to his house.

His smile was fading now, "Don't you?"

_No._

"I guess."

"You guess? Whatever man. I gotta go."

"Wait, where?"

"Fucks it to you?" Mickey asked, furrowing his eyebrows.

"Hang out with me or some shit."

"Yeah no." He declined as he sarted walking away.

 He didn't want to but he couldn't have Ian on him again.

"I'll stop beating people if you do."

"Fuck off Gallagher."

They were both smiling as Mickey walked away, out of sight. He wanted to ask him where he'd been this past week and why he had bruises on his face but he didn't have the chance. He'd probably never have the chance but if he did he knew Mickey would get pissed off.

* * *

Somehow he ended up back at the Milkovich house a day later playing video games with Mandy. Of course, he wasn't there to see if Mickey was there, this was him just spending time with Mandy (with the occasional glance towards the door to see if he'd come home yet.)

He'd gotten so into the game, trying like hell to beat Mandy's ass that he didn't even notice Terry barge in there until he heard yelling. He peered over to see Terry grab a frying pan and hold it up in one of their kid's faces. Iggy?

"THE FUCK DID I TELL YOU ABOUT TASTING THE PRODUCTS?!"

"Why do you care? You do it."

"Because I'm a grown ass man and this is my deals you fucking ingrate!"

Ian scoffed at that remark. Sounds like Frank but worse.

"Mickey was snorting coke the while time so why am I the only one in shit?!"

By now Mandy had turned off the game and was whispering to Ian telling him to not say a word or make any sudden movements.

"How'd you know about that?" Terry asked, lowering the pan.

"HE WAS FUCKING HIGH THE WHOLE RIDE BACK HERE THAT'S HOW!"

"That's Iggy he's the funniest dipshit in the house but he doesn't take shit from anyone. Especially Terry." Mandy whispered. "And that's Jamie behind him, he's the one that never stands up for himself."

"Don't raise your voice to me boy! Unlike you, Mickey can handle his shit!"

"Does Mickey defend himself?" Ian asked right before Iggy started screaming again.

"Oh, so little Mickey has gone back to being Mr perfect huh? How long is that gonna last until he's your punching bag again?!!"

"He does," Mandy answered. "Just not as much as Iggy. He's usually the one that gets beat down though.."

Iggy stormed off out the house while Terry threw the pan into the wall causing it to shatter and paint come off the wall. Ian turned back around and saw Colin standing in the doorway with Mickey close behind him with another bruise, this time on his jawline. Iggy pushed past them cursing under his breath while Terry stormed out the back banging shit along the way.

Their eyes locked for a couple seconds before Mickey tore his eyes away and trying to hide a smile. He shoved past Colin calling each other cunts, then disappeared down the hall into his room.

 

Five minutes later, Terry had left to get wasted at the Alibi with Colin and Jamie while Mandy, Iggy, and Mickey stayed behind not wanting to put up with their dads bullshit. Ian excused himself from the couch with the excuse, 'going to the bathroom'. Really Ian? Whatever.

He hovered his hand over the door knob wandering if he should go in there or not. Is he going to flip out? What if he wants nothing to do with me? What if he punches me or some shit? He looked up at the sign on the door 'StAY tHE Fuck Out' and a massive grin formed on his face. He trailed his fingers over the writing before barging in there like a mad man.

He locked the door behind him then looked over at Mickey who was standing beside his bed, hands on the edge of his bedside table with his head between his shoulders. He looked sad like he was suffering but no one could see what was really wrong.

"You okay?" Ian asked, stepping closer to him.

He turned around to see who was there a mixture of emotions covered his face until anger and disgust locked in. He was looking at him like he was a disgusting stranger that needed to learn his place. No questions asked Ian was hurt. He stepped back to give him some space then looked the other way so he couldn't see how hurt he actually was. That one look just fucking ripped his heart in half.

"Fine." Mickey finally answered. "Fuck you doing in here? Go spend time with my sister, beat people up or some shit. Get the fuck out."

He picked up a cigarette from the packet on his bedside table then looked up at Ian locking eyes with him once again.

"I'd rather be in here," Ian whispered, smiling a little. "Besides, I thought you wanted me to stop beating the shit out of people.."

He'd never ever say this out loud but it's kind of sexy when Ian beats people up, and the way he talks while he does it.. fuck. But he also likes this side of him, determined, horny and sort of sweet.

"Didn't bother you yesterday."

"Still.."

"Yeah well, someones got to do it when I'm away."

"Speaking of, where were you?"

"None of your fucking business." Mickey cursed while lighting his cigarette.

He couldn't help but admire his perfect lips wrapping around the filter as he inhaled. He couldn't tear his eyes away even when Mickey rolled his eyes and blew out the smoke. Everything he does is just so god damn sexy even if it's the simplest things.

"Okay," Ian mumbled. "What happened to your face then? Didn't get to ask you yesterday."

Something clearly happened here because the bruise was covering a third of his forehead and it was purple and blue with green spots everywhere. Who the fuck would do this to him? Why does he always have bruises?

"Again, none of your fucking business!"

Then he remembered what Mandy had said, that he's the one that usually gets a beat down from Terry. Is that where he's been all this time? Getting a beating. _The fuck is wrong with that man?_

"Did Terry do that to you?"

"Fuck off Gallagher. I don't need your fucking pity. Get out."

"You really want me to?"

"Yes." He lied.

Ian raised his one eyebrow questioning his dry answer. He knew he didn't want him to leave. He could just sense it. "You're dad's gone out," Ian stated.

"So what?" Mickey asked as relief washed over him. Thank fuck he's gone. "Look, man, we beat up someone together once, doesn't mean we're gonna be partners in crime or some shit like that. Fuck off."

He stubbed out his cigarette now, rubbed his nose with his knuckle then shoved past Ian. Ian grabbed onto his waist as he turned around and pulled him in real close, so close their lips were almost brushing together.

He felt a strong hand grasping his face while another hand gripped his hip tight. All he saw was red flags everywhere telling him everything about this was just so wrong, so he pushed Ian away as hard as he could.

"I'm not fuckin gay." Mickey ranted.

"Never said you were," Ian smirked.

"Just get out Gallagher."

He jerked forward, grabbing onto Mickey's hand, fighting him for dominance over it. He pushed him back into the draws against the wall and made him grab his crotch while his other hand grasped his face again, pulling him in close.

"The fuc-"

"Shhh. I know you want this. Stop fighting it."

"I told you I'm not fucking gay."

"Something tells me differently." He smiled as he saw his confused expression. " Mickey you're grabbing my dick on your own..."

_Shit. Fuck._

He looked down at his hand and immediately tried pulling his hand away from underneath Ian's, but he didn't let him, just made him grab it even more. He seductively pressed his body up against the older mans feeling the heat radiate off his body and combine with his.

"Stop Gal-"

Ian cut him off by quickly moving his hand from Mickey's face to down his pants and grabbed his fully hard, aching cock. He pumped the brunette a couple times before swiping his thumb over his knob.

"Fuckk." He moaned, throwing his head back in pleasure.

"Yeah, you like that?" Ian grinned being a cocky mother fucker.

"Fuck.. off." Mickey panted as Ian ran his thumb over the same spot. "Mmm."

Ian let go of Mickey's hand on his crotch and smiled, even more, when he didn't tear his hand away, instead he adjusted his grip and started rubbing him through his jeans. Damn. He wouldn't open his eyes though, he had them screwed shut as he rubbed Ian and let him jerk him off. It was like he couldn't bare to look at the scene, like if he did he'd go blind or be sent to hell for the rest of eternity.

"Open your eyes," Ian commanded.

He grabbed his cock a lot harder, firmer, and started jerking him off faster, at an insanely rapid pace making Mickey go crazy. He still had his head tilted back, eyes closed, biting his lower lip, panting like no one else could hear him like it was just the two of them in the world. In their own little bubble of bliss and paradise.

"Open your fucking eyes, Mickey," Ian repeated in a much more harsh, dominant voice.

His eyes flew open and locked with sparkly green ones. Without a seconds hesitation, he shoved his own hand down the redheads' jeans and started jerking him off in time with Ian. "Fuck." Ian gasped, taken aback by his sudden movement. He totally didn't expect Mickey to touch him like this.

_Should I? Fuck it._

"Yeah.. you.. like that?" Mickey asked in between moans.

Ian couldn't help but chuckle a little at Mickey imitating him. It was so fucking sexy which made his cock dribble with pre-cum.

"Fucker."

Without actually thinking it through Ian grabbed onto his face-more like his jaw- and leaned in to kiss the older man. Their lips were so close together once again, but as soon as Mickey realized he recoiled his face as fast as he could. _For fuck's sake_.

He dipped his tongue into his collar bone instead, slowing making a bruise from, trying not to moan the whole time while he worked the brunette's dick expertly. Mickey dropped his head to Ian's shoulder so he couldn't try any of that shit again also so Ian couldn't see his embarrassing facial expressions. Please, how could they ever be embarrassing?

Ian didn't want this to end, they both didn't. it was like every good feeling you could ever think of rolled into one incredible sensation but a hundred times better. For Mickey, it was even better because it was finally with a guy instead of a random slutty chick at school that he could hardly get hard for. This was so new to him but yet so familiar, and he fucking loved it, every second of it, of course, he'd never admit that though.

Ian grabbed onto Mickey's neck shoving his head back roughly and squeezing his throat a little too hard. Mickey smiled in return as his dick reacted with him, drizzling pre cum all over Ian's fingers. Ian just grinned and smeared it all over his dick for lubricant enjoying watching the older mans face as he did so.

"You're so.. fucking... sexy." Ian complimented.

He then quickly bit back a moan as Mickey twisted his wrist and ran his thumb along his shaft.

"Fuck off." Mickey whimpered.

They were both panting and moaning way too loud, a little louder and anyone in the house would think they're either dying or well... exactly what they were doing. Ian moved his hand from his beautiful neck to his mouth to quiet his noises so Mickey did the same with his free hand.

He was in awe of the way the older man would look at him like he was staring at the single best person in the world. Every hand movement Mickey made, every moan, every sexy facial expression went straight to his cock and his heart. He loved it but he loved pleasing him even more, making him fall apart with just his hand. He wondered what would happen and how he would look if he went even further, like fingering him or something... yeah he'd probably deck him the second it happened.

He leaned forward just enough to rest their foreheads together without freaking him out too much. At this rate, they both weren't going to last much longer. They kept staring into each other's eyes, jerking each other off at an extreme pace, bringing them both closer and closer to the edge.

He felt a tingling sensation radiating from the bellows of his testicles, traveling through his throbbing erection all the way to the tip of his leaking cock. Ian knew he was close and he seemed to like it when he ran his thumb over his knob so that's exactly what he did.

"Fuckk." Mickey cried out into Ian's hand. It was building up. An insane amount of pressure was building up in his cock, threatening to burst through... His muscles were clenching by the second trying to push through it.

Mickey came first, shooting his load all over Ian's hand not realizing that his own hand had gone completely still. His vision faded to black as the shock waves just kept on coming. It felt like the beat of drugs shooting through every vein leaving your extremities almost on fire. He felt on top of the world, like no one and nothing could ever get to him as the jolts of pleasure flooded his body. It was better than any drug he's ever taken but this time... this time this drug is just a gorgeous redhead playing with feelings he's never felt before.

Once he collected himself, he felt Ian's lips against his forehead and realized he had stopped jerking him off. He shrugged his head away, not wanting his lips to be on him. Something about kissing was just so disgusting to him. He'd only done it once, with a girl, but there was just too much saliva, tongue and sucking faces that made him not want to do it ever again.

Ian made a move to pull away but the older man just yanked him back, turning them around so Ian was pushed up against the draws and began jerking him off again. Ian gripped the handles as hard as he could to support himself while Mickey placed one hand on the draw beside his face and ran his thumb over his dripping knob in circular motions.

"Fuck Mick.." Ian panted as his head fell back in pleasure.

He couldn't help but stare at Ian's Adam's apple, at his perfect skin coated with a thin layer of sweat, glistening from the shitty light. He couldn't help but want to sink his teeth into his flesh right between his collarbone and jaw. God, he wanted to just make bruises and suck the skin between his teeth but he couldn't. He just couldn't.

Ian grabbed the back of Mickey's head firmly, to press their foreheads together again. He didn't mind, in fact.. he kind of liked the contact. He liked being close to his face, to his lips and his perfect eyes. He couldn't tear his off Ian's now. It was like he was fucking hypnotized.

"I'm... gonna cum," Ian whispered, stroking the brunettes cheek.

Mickey began jerking him off faster while Ian was dangerously close the breaking the fucking handle on his draws. His knuckles were turning white around the handle with every pump or hand movement Mickey gave. Without really noticing he bit down on his lip as hard as possible, breaking through the first layer of skin making it bleed. He ran his tongue over it, laping up every drop to mix with his own taste.

Mickey couldn't stop staring at him, at Ian's tongue sweeping over his lip, at his eyes screwed shut or when they were open full of want and desire, his flawless pale skin slowly turning a beautiful shade of pink. He loved every second of this, Ian's moans and pants, his hand resting on his cheek, his bright green eyes with long gorgeous lashes. But most of all, he loved how his cock felt in his hand. He loved how big and thick it felt. He loved running his thumb over his knob, sweeping up all the precum to use as lube. He loved Ian's hot breath on his neck as he pleased him. This was his new favorite thing. Pleasing Ian.

"Jesus... Fuck!" Ian cursed as he came spilling his seed all over Mickey.

They both had their eyes shut, secretly smiling enjoying this feeling of being... together. Not really together.. but.. together. Mickey pulled away suddenly feeling very guilty as shame washed over him. He wondered when Terry was coming home, or if he was already home. Had anyone heard? Were we loud? Is anyone even home right now? He walked over to the bathroom to wash his hand while Ian adjusted his belt and fixed his 'just fucked' hair. Once he returned he rushed to find his shoes and coat then ran out the room without another glance at Ian.

"Mick wait." Ian pleaded trying to run after him.

It was too late though he was already out the door, almost on the side walk. He hated this feeling right after him and Ian had jerked each other off or something like that. He wished it was different. He wished Terry wasn't so homophobic. He wished he was someone else with loving parents who would accept you for who you are. He just knew that would never be his life. He was doomed.

Iggy and Mandy had their game on pause as they stared at Ian on the couch wondering what the fuck just happened.

"Long story." Ian just said, taking a seat next to Mandy.

"You owe him money or something?" Mandy asked, returning to the game that she was loosing.

"Something like that.."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay so I've been watching season 8 of Shameless, hope you guys have been too. What do you guys think is going on with Ian? Do you think he's just grieving over loosing Monica, do you think his meds are out of balance, or do you think he is realising he needs Mickey and seriously fucked up? Comment your thoughts and theory's below. :)


	3. Detention

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> HAPPY EASTER LOVELIES!!! Hope you enjoy your day <3  
> So, so sorry it's taking me ages to update these chapters. I just can't post them without them being absolutely perfect which means you guys are waiting longer. You all don't deserve that and I'll try to work on updating a lot faster.  
> Anyway, hope you enjoy!

It was almost five in the afternoon and Ian was sitting at the kitchen table talking to Carl about swiss army knives and bombs. Carl was focused on the pain the knives inflicted on others when they weren't really meant for that, so he just stuck teaching him the names like Karambits, Boot knives, etcetera.

"But you can kill someone with this right?" Carl asked, full of excitement.

"Y-Yeah..?" Ian stuttered not really knowing the protocol here.

"COOL!"

_Bloody psychopath._

"Carl, ugh, they aren't really.." He wasn't listening. "Whatever."

They were interrupted by Fiona storming through the house, calling out for Ian while she kicked shit out her way.

"What?!" He yelled back.

"What the fuck is wrong with you?!" She rhetorically asked slamming her purse on the bench and resting his hand on her hip.  _Ughh, what is it now?_

"What are you talking about?"

"I got a call from your principal today. Said you beat up some guy in the hallway with Mickey Milkovich. Why would you do that?!" 

"Shit. How'd he find out?"

"Ian."

"It's a long story.."

"Long story? Yeah okay well have fun explaining that to him then. You're suspended for a week."

"A week?!"

"Yeah, Ian, a week, and you have to go to after-school detention. I know you wanted to impress this guy you were talking about but breaking this guys nose isn't the way to go. You shouldn't change who you are for some guy."

"Kinda weird you know," He said cocking his head to the side, "you giving relationship advice.."

"Oh, that's real mature."

"Whatever Fi."

"Don't whatever me Ian. Just stop hurting people. Remember when that was you? When you were that scrawny little redhead with all the freckles and everyone picked on you? It's not nice is it?"

He balled his hands up into fists and stared down at the table trying to block out his annoying older sister. She doesn't get it. No one would. So there's no point in explaining his reasons. Besides, he can't exactly tell her why they beat that guy anyway, it would just make the bullshit rumor about Mickey and his dad spread even more.

"What the fuck is going on?!" Lip asked, jogging down the stairs, sounding irritated. 

"Our brother decided to beat up some poor kid with Mickey Milkovich today. Got himself suspended and a week of detention." Fiona explained shoving dishes into the sink angrily.

"Ohh yeahh. That was brutal man. Didn't think you to could to that much damage." Lip laughed as he took a seat next to Carl who was daydreaming. Probably about killing something. _Again, fucking psycho._

"You were there?" Ian blurted.

"Nah it's on YouTube man. Everyone's sharing it." Lip smiled as he started firing up their ancient laptop.

"Shit. Let me see."

It looked way worse than it really was. There was blood everywhere, the kid kept crying out in agony and every sharp move the crowd of students would gasp in fright or excitement. They seemed like a couple of bullies brutally bashing some poor fuck for their own amusement but that wasn't the case at all.. sort of.

"Shiit," Ian mumbled as he saw him being thrown onto the floor.

"Yeah man, you's got him good."

"Woah, Ian!" Carl gasped as he came into view of the video. "You broke his nose!"

"Nah Mickey broke his nose. I gotta go." Ian announced, leaping out his chair.

"Where?" Fiona asked, surprisingly still in the kitchen.

"Work."

"Straight home after that. I don't want you getting into more trouble than you already are."

"I won't." He sighed.

"Better not."

"I said I won't Fiona. Jesus." He grabbed his coat and headed for the door slamming it on his way out.

* * *

Work was dull and boring but not as boring as detention the next day. Sitting there in silence, staring at the fuckin clock ticking by, by each slow second was torture. His ass hurt, then his arms hurt from leaning on them, then his back hurt from being pressed up against the chair everything started hurting after a while.

Once it hit the one hour mark he leapt up heading straight for the door, knocking over desks on the way but got turned away because he had a two-hour detention instead of the regular one hour.  _The fuck? Okay great, missed ROTC going to be late for work what else could go wrong?_ He secretly pulled his phone out under the desk to text Kash that he was going to be late for his shift but ended up opening three missed messages from Mandy.

 

Mands: 3:11 pm: _Yo where you at? U were supposed to meet me in the courtyard???_

Mands: 3:36 pm: _Ur not at rotc where r u??_

Mands: 4:01 pm: _reply to me asshole!! where r u?? im frekin out_

 

He couldn't help the smile spread across his face while reading all those texts. She's adorable when she's worried. He hid his phone under the desk so the controlling, bitchy teacher wouldn't confiscate the shitty phone he stole months ago. He shot Kash a quick text explaining why he'd be late then replied to the anxious teenager that is his best friend.

 

You: 4:03 pm: _stuck @ school_

Mands: 4:04 pm: _oh hes alive!! detention?_

You: 4:05 pm: _yep. ur brother and i got in a fight w/some kid at school_

Mands: 4:07 pm:  _shouldt mick be there then_

You: 4:07 pm: _yea he isn't tho. im a loner_

Mands: 4:07 pm: _ugh ill deal with him_

 

* * *

The entire day he'd been laying in bed under the covers ignoring every fuck that came into his room attempting to talk to him. Terry stormed in calling him a lazy shit and his greatest mistake which caused him to slam his door shut in his face and tear apart his room. Like he didn't already know that. Iggy brought him food twice to make sure he stays alive and his cut of the money they made that week. The rest of his brothers tried getting him to go drinking with some friends of Jamies. Yea like that's gonna happen. Other than that it had been silent. Too silent.

His bruises were healing fast but not fast enough. He refused to go out in public, he'd look weak and vulnerable which that's the opposite of what he was aiming for. His attendance was shittier than usual, he really needed to go to school more but how could he explain all the marks on his face if some nosy fuck asked? Yeah, my dad likes to lay into me when he's drunk, off his face or just bored... no big deal? No that would just cause more problems that he didn't need. If he just stayed in his room, in his own private security then he wouldn't have to deal with people's shit all day long. Well apart from his sisters.

"Ass-hat," Mandy called out as she walked through the front door. "Where are you?"

"Here." He croaked from underneath the covers. "Fuck do you want?"

She cracked open his door and the first thing she noticed was how dark it was in there. The blinds were closed, the light was off, in fact, the light bulb had been taken out and there wasn't a single light flickering from chargers or his cheap tv. It was dark. Like looking inside his brain. The second thing he noticed was it was completely trashed. Everything that was on his draws and bedside tables was now in a heap on the floor.  _Jesus._

"You're supposed to be in detention. If you don't go you'll be in more shit."

"Don't care." He mumbled sounding like he was in pain.

"What's wrong?" She asked as she knelt down beside his bed.

"Nothing. Everything's fucking perfect."

"Why did you destroy your room?"

"Why do you think? I fuckin hate him!"

"I know Mick, so do I." She breathed knowing how bad Mickey really has it."Come on, get up, go to school."

"No." He refused, rolling over so she couldn't see him then pulled the covers over his face.

"Mick." Mandy groaned. "You think you're not going anywhere in life but if you don't start thinking your life is worth something then you won't. You have purpose Mickey, stop fucking yourself over."

"You done?"

"Yep."

"Great. Get out."

"Mickeyy!" She wined being the most irritating person on the fucking planet.

_This bitch just won't fucking leave._  If she isn't going to leave then he might as well change the subject instead of being verbally scolded about being a piece of shit. He leaped out of bed, startling Mandy and grabbed his pants off the grimy floor.

"You got my homework?"

She crossed her arms over her chest as she spoke. "Yea."

"Well hand it over bitch." He ordered as he buckled his belt then started looking for his jacket.

"Get your ass to detention first."

"For fuck's sake Mandy!"

"New deal, I'll keep doing your work if you get yourself straight." Mickey interrupted her by groaning. "Which meanss," She continued. "No more getting in trouble by the school or the cops and get yourself a real fucking job instead of dealing."

"A job?" He laughed. "You're fucking dreaming bitch."

"What's so bad about having a job?"

"I don't like taking orders from anyone Mandy, you know that."

"Then work with Ian."

He froze and stared at his sister in fear.  _Ian? Why the fuck is she mentioning him? Does she know? Did he fucking tell her? They're best friends or some shit now right, does that mean they tell each other everything? Is that how it works with best friends?_

"Ian? Why him?" He calmly asked even though he was having a mental freak out.

_She's got a big fucking mouth she'll tell everyone. Is she going to tell dad? Does he already know? He'll fucking kill me. He'll bash my head in._

"His boss doesn't give a shit what he does. You wouldn't have to take orders."

He let out a huge breath he hadn't noticed he'd been holding as relief washed over him. She doesn't know. "Whatever." He then picked up a jacket that probably has beer stains all over it and yanked it over his head.

"Plus aren't you guys like friends or something I mean you did beat some guy up with him."

"No we're not fucking friends, don't ask stupid questions."

"Fine. Do I have to drag you to school myself? Cause I will." She giggled trying to lighten the mood.

"I'll fucking go, alright?!"

"Good. Text me when they let you out, we'll go shoot some rounds under the L to get you out your shitty mood."

"Ah, we could get in trouble. Wouldn't want that." He mocked.

"You're an asshole."

* * *

He fell asleep in thought. Well almost fell asleep, but the sound of the door violently swinging open made him snap his head up searching his surroundings. There he was, standing there in all his glory was Mickey. He looked incredibly pissed off to be there. Who wouldn't?

"Mr. Milkovich, you're late." The teacher stated, not even looking up from her paperwork.

"Fuck off. You're lucky I'm even here."

"That language won't be tolerated in this classroom."

"Don't give a shit."

"MR MILKOVICH!"

He slumped down in his seat far away from the teacher and Ian, letting his head fall back and his legs slack off to the side. Clearly, he did not want to be there. He didn't glance towards Ian or the clock, just sat there in silence counting down the hours till he could leave that shithole. Fuck school, fuck the teachers, fuck Mandy for forcing him to go there and fuck Ian for looking so delicious when he walked in.

Twenty long minutes passed when Mickey finally looked over to Ian, two rows over three seats up, linking eyes with one another. He immediately looked away, cheeks red, smile playing at his lips while his heart started hammering in his chest. What the fuck? He adjusted himself in his seat so he was leaning against the table in front of him looking the opposite way at the wall full of pointless history shit. 

Ian couldn't stop glancing at him. He was just so sexy and adorable especially when he was trying his very hardest not to give in and stare back at him. Every now and then they would lock eyes with each other only to look away smiling, well... Ian was smiling, Mickey would lick his lips and look the other way. He couldn't take it anymore. If he stayed in that room with Ian a second longer he'd lose it and either beat the shit out of him or do something he'd regret later. I'm not a faggot. He kept reminding himself. He leapt out of his seat, shoving his hands in his pockets and huffed towards the door. Fuck Mandy and her bullshit deal, he isn't doing it.

"Sit down." The lady demanded.

Ian followed him with his eyes wondering where he was going or if he had done something wrong that is making him leave. Should he have not eye fucked him? Should he stop pushing for this? Or is he just sick of being there?

"Suck a dick," Mickey growled as Ian chuckled quietly.

"Last warning."

Warning? Huh, she should know he doesn't take orders, from anyone. She gasped and almost jumped out of her seat when Mickey violently kicked a chair into her desk. Ian, on the other hand, was shocked and a little amused as he watched the scene from afar. He flipped her off and stormed over to the door only to be met with a tall middle-aged man that had biceps the size of Mt Everest. He stared down at Mickey like he was nothing but an ant-a thug ant. His eyebrows were so grey, so bushy and he was wearing a blue suit of all things. He stepped forward invading Mickey's personal space with a fierce almost frightening expression but not frightening enough to make Mickey scared.

"Sit. Down. Milkovich. Before your suspension becomes an exclusion." He threatened.

Mickey couldn't believe this guy. Who the fuck has the audacity to walk in here like they own the place and order him around? No one that's who. He rolled his eyes and opened his mouth to shoot an awful comment when he realized that this guy might actually own the place. Instead, he retreated taking a seat once again and returning to gazing off into space for the next hour or so.

"Mrs. Peyton, may I see you for a minute?"

"Of course Sir."

A few seconds after she left the room Ian covered his face with his hand then turned his head slightly to look over at the brunette. His eyes were glued to the clock, while he nibbled his bottom lip impatiently. He had his arms crossed over his beating chest, breathing slowly but steadily, as Ian eyed him from head to toe like he was a full course meal. He could feel Ian's beady eyes gazing at him like a hawk and honestly, he was getting quite irritated. Unable to control himself the younger man rose from his chair and dragged it over to Mickey.

"Fuck off." Mickey cursed as he shifted in his seat.

He planted himself on the chair

"Tell me something,"

"Can you fucking hear?!" Mickey swore as he finally looked Ian in the eye. "I said piss off."

"No, you said 'fuck off'." Ian corrected with a nerdy smile.

"Smartass." Mickey insulted before turning away again.

Ian sighed then moved his chair behind Mickey's making him shift uncomfortably. As he sat on the chair backward he lightly trailed his fingers down the brunette's arm watching as Mickey trembled against his touch. He didn't pull his arm away which told Ian that he wanted this, that he wanted Ian.

"Why you won't admit who you are." Ian breathed against his neck.

He shifted in his chair again and placed his hand on his erection so Ian wouldn't see. He felt disgusting being turned on by a man. It was supposed to be wrong right? Women were meant to turn him on. You know.. women, breasts, coochie not cocks, ass and persistent redheads. It was wrong. At least that's what his father had drilled into him his whole life.

Ian noticed his hand placement, smiled and moved his own hand above Mickeys linking their fingers together. The first thing Ian noticed was his increased breathing and lip biting, the second thing was Mickey reciprocating the hand holding.. willingly. Their fingers entwined like it was natural instinct as Ian made Mickey grab onto his own growing erection.

"Fuck." He muttered in a moan.

It was wrong. Everything about this was so wrong but yet it felt so right. He knew he should tear his hand away, beat the shit out of him exactly how his dad had taught him to do but he couldn't. He didn't want to stop. He would never admit it but he loved it. He loved the feeling he got when Ian touched him like this, when he spoke in that husky, deep voice when he pushed and pushed until he got what he want because Mickey could never push like he does. He could never be as confident and brave as he is. He could never be openly gay like Ian presumably is. He won't ever be free so letting Ian do things like this in the heat of the moment was it for him. But you could bet your life he'd beat the life out of him if he ever breathed a word to anyone.

His other hand lightly swept down his abdomen causing the brunette to tremble and clench his hand around Ian's and around his throbbing cock. Ian moved his head around to the other side, faces almost touching while he hooked his fingers underneath his waistband. He stopped right there, not daring to go any closer before he could hear want he wanted to hear from the quivering man biting his lip in front of him. 

"Admit it," Ian whispered seductively in his ear, "Admit you want me."

"No." He plainly refused while squinting his eyes shut.

"Just admit it."

"N-No."

"Why?"

"I'm not gay.." Mickey stated although it sounded more like he was trying to convince himself not Ian.

"Then why are you still holding my hand?" Ian simply asked, in a gravelly deep voice.

He immediately pulled his hand out from under Ian's and smacked him away. "I wasn't. Fuck off you faggot!"

"I may be a faggot, but so are you."

You could almost literally hear something big snap inside of Mickey. He shoved his desk into the table in front of him causing a huge thud, snapped around and grasped Ian by the throat. His mind went blank, quite literally shut off when Mickey grabbed him like that. Although he should have predicted it, he didn't. He thought he could maybe.. possibly make him see his true self but apparently, it was going to be a little difficult. Actions have consequences and i guess this repercussion is his crush, crushing his throat. While Mickey dug his nails in and squeezed with all his might, Ian held onto his arm trying to rip it away but his grip was so fucking tight it was almost impossible to tear off. He was glaring at him with his most ominous, threatening look he could ever pull off.

"IM NOT A FAGGOT!" He raged squeezing the life out of him.

"S-Sor-ry" Ian managed to croak out.

He threw Ian onto the floor without a care then stood over him with nothing but disgust and hate plastered on his face. Ian definitely does not scare easily but the powerful, formidable stare the older man was giving off frightened him enough to not lash out.

"You stay the FUCK away from me. Understand that this time?"

Ian nodded and grabbed onto his sore, red throat while preparing to defend himself if need be. He was worried that Mickey would start beating the life out of him but instead, he left the classroom without a second glance, leaving Ian on the ground gasping for air. Never in his life did he feel so small and weak.  _Is my plan stupid?_ _Was all this just for nothing? Should I stay away from him? Is Mickey always going to be in denial and all over the place, jerking me off one minute then beating me the next? Why is he like this? Why can't he just admit who he is?_  All these questions left unanswered except one, he'll never stay away. Not now, not tomorrow, not ever.

Well, maybe a little distance is necessary...

* * *

The cold night air of spring filled his lungs just as good as nicotine did. He was onto third? Forth? Who knew. Who cared? It made him feel good and relaxed for once. You know what else could relax him. Weed. He could go for a big, fat cone right now. Thank god his sister is a huge pothead that probably has bud on her.  _Where is she?_

He sat on the filthy ground under the L for what seemed like hours, just puffing on his cigarette and throwing rocks against the poles. Watching them shatter into tiny pieces fascinated him in a deep, dark way. It was a whole

"Hey, Mick." Mandy beamed as she stumbled towards her brother.

She wrapped both arms around his waist as Mickey wrapped his around her neck, inhaling her sweet scent of strawberry shampoo. He smiled, they both did because in a way they were each others happiness-when they're not being total cunts to each other that is. He felt stable with her. Like he didn't need to have his guard up or jump at any sudden noise in fear. It was the same for Mandy, he was her savior, her protector, and her favorite brother. Underneath all the anger and the front he put up, she could see a decent human being that just needed some help after everything he'd been through.

It's always been them. Mandy and Mickey against the world. Sure they had A LOT of fights but they ALWAYS protected each other. Whether it was from the monster they called dad, douche bags at school, or police officers chasing them around the streets, they always had each others back. His favorite memory was when he was seven and she was five. Their mother and siblings were off somewhere probably scared shit-less to come back to the house. They were cuddling each other in a thin blanket trying to keep each other as warm as possible while blood dripped off Mickey's forehead. Fortunately, the bathroom was the only place Terry wouldn't bother looking when he was off his face, most likely because his fat ass could hardly fit in it. Once they knew for sure he had passed out in his disgusting room, Mandy insisted on creeping into his room and getting 'payback'. She glued his hands together and both eyelids shut whilst he slept.

_"He can't hit you anymore and he can't see to hurt you."_  Mandy's little five-year-old voice rang in his head.

She was so tiny and adorable, with little beady eyes and gorgeous chestnut hair. She was the spitting image of Mickey only with pigtails. She was barely in school and could hardly say her ABC'S but yet she was already recognizing a bully targeting her brother and her first instinct was to defend him. Unfortunately, after that, he started beating her more often than usual. She was too pure for this world. They both were. Too bad Terry couldn't see that.

Now Mickey being the smart ass and rebellious type is always the one getting himself into trouble, Mandy on the other hand always has straight A's and a clean record, but that doesn't mean she can't help her brother out with escaping the cops or commit small crimes she knew she'd get away with. As kids and as teenagers they always snuck out to escape the aftermath of Terry's benders-which is precisely what they are doing right now. Running away from their father to shoot cans under the L like psychopaths in the making. This is where you'd look if both siblings were missing. 

 

"What'd you bring? The whole fucking house?" Mickey mocked, staring at his sister's wide bag full to the brim.

"You know the usual, snacks, smokes... drugs and illegal weapons."

"Bet you twenty you forgot the cans."

"Pay up then fucker."

He rolled his eyes and sighed, reaching into his pocket to receive the twenty that now rightfully belonged to his sister. "You pick now to finally bring the cans? Bitch."

They set up a dozen coke cans on an abandoned couch and stuck a sticker of a human target on the brick wall. They had a Glock 19 each and were crouching in the dirt aiming to shoot every soda can lined up. Almost every week since Mickey turned thirteen they had somehow gotten away from the house and came here for this pointless reason. You would have thought they'd get bored of shooting the same shit or someone snooping would catch a couple of kids with illegal handguns but they didn't. If they could they would just keep reloading, restacking and re-shooting all day long but the fear that Terry would literally kill them if he found out, sent them running back home every time. Not this time though, no they were sick of being a couple of terrified kids unable to go home - a place that was meant to be their safe haven. Instead, they kept shooting and shooting until eventually, they got tired of all the competitions and bets they made about who could knock down the most in x amount of time or who could make the perfect shot on the target.

Mandy waltz over to her bag and pulled out two bags of mints and mentos with a wicked grin. She skipped back over and started waving them in her brothers face, begging him to agree. This was another amazing and reckless story. Mickey was barely ten and Mandy was eight - they conveniently stumbled upon bags of mentos that were most likely stolen goods from Iggy or Colin, but who gave a damn right? If they weren't smart enough to hide it then they deserve nothing but to come home and find them gone. Mandy recently did a 'really cool science experiment' with 'really cool stuff' so they decided to give it a try. Little did they know that putting Every. Single. Mint in the damn bottle would send soda spraying EVERYWHERE. So they spent the next hour or so attempting to clean everything up before it got very sticky or before Terry came home because they stupidly did the experiment inside the house.

"You're fucking stupid."

"Come on we always used to do this as kids."

"Once and we aren't kids anymore."

"Yeah, we are. Just fuckin help me."

Fortunately, he caved and spent the next five minutes opening all the tiny little mints and mentos. Instead of the regular old coke+mentos=eruption thing, they decided to add a little twist to create an explosion!

"And what makes you think this is going to work huh?"

"I don't, it's just a theory."

"What if I shoot you?"

"You won't just aim for the bottle, not me. Ready?"

"Yeah, I have been for the last thirty seconds," Mickey said in an irritated tone.

After giggling to herself she stood to the side, preparing herself while Mickey switched the safety off and aimed directly at the bottle. They nodded to each other than Mandy swiftly poured a huge amount of both products into the lemonade bottle watching the ingredients already start fizzing up. She jumped back quickly before she accidentally got shot - almost the same second she dropped the mentos in.

"Bang!"

The gunshot permeated the still ghetto air, way too powerful to be a backfiring car or firecrackers. While the noise deafened them, amazing streaks of rainbow burst everywhere as the bottle completely shattered and disappeared into thin air. The noise reverberated in their ears and rang out far into the streets even with the loud, infuriating sound of the train above them.

The look of pure happiness spread across her face, her gorgeous wide grin reached her ears as colorful soda soaked her thin black hoodie. Mickey watched from afar as a rush of excitement sent color to his sisters' cheeks. The sight was infinitely beautiful, impossible to enjoy. Very rarely are they both enthusiastic and smiling so this one moment when they were doing nothing but that is greatly astounding.

* * *

"What happened to you?" Lip asked from the top bunk after Ian came bursting in like a madman.

"Nothing." He mumbled, throwing himself onto his own bed, face lost in his pillow.

"He got into another fight," Fiona interrupted, "after I told him not to!"

"Wasn't my fault," Ian mumbled.

"Oh, I'm sure." She said sarcastically. "He went off at Carl before coming up here too," Fiona said addressing Lip.

"I don't need a lecture."

"Ian I don't know what's going on with you but I don't like your attitude. If you need someone to talk to I'm here okay."

"Whatever."

"Stop changing yourself for some guy. If he likes you he'd like you for who you are not for who you're faking to be."

"Whatever," Ian repeated with an angrier tone.

"Okay, no staying out late anymore. From now on you're here unless school or work, and no seeing Mandy."

"What?! No!" Ian yelled as he leaped off his bed. "You're not my fucking mother!!"

"Ay Ian calm down man," Lip warned.

"No, it's okay Lip. Go on, say it."

"You don't get to control what I do or who I see. You're not my mother, you're not my father, you're not anything!"

"I'm the closest thing you're gonna get, Ian. You think Frank gives a shit or Monica? She fucking left! They both did. You wanna spin out of control, lose yourself, yell at anyone that speaks to you go ahead but I will NOT let you destroy your future. So you will get up every-single-day, go to school, ROTC work then you'll bring your ass back home. And if you get into another fight or trouble at school then you can find another place to live because I'm NOT raising another Frank!"

Ian felt bad you could see that much. He went way too far saying Fiona isn't anything to him after all these years of being raised by her. She practically gave up her life to be a mother like figure to her siblings and Ian literally just shat all over that. He's completely losing it. He's losing himself...

"I'm sorry for yelling." Fiona sincerely apologized. "You're just... scaring the shit out of me. I'm here if you want someone to talk to, okay?"

While his eyes were glued to the floor in shame, his head wasn't so much. Slowly nodding in agreement as he felt the tears start brewing and hands begin to shake. He felt so small and fragile without any reason to be apart from Mickey treating him like nothing. He wanted to get away from everything and everyone. Somehow sleep was looking pretty good right about now.

"Put some cream on your neck," Fiona suggested.

She offered a sad smile, glanced towards Lip mouthing 'find out whats wrong with him', then left, softly shutting the door behind her. Ian sighed and slumped back down on his bed like an alien. Avoiding Lip's stare he rolled onto his side, pretending his asshole older brother wasn't even there. He jumped off the bunk, grabbed their joints from the drawer and sat on the edge of Ian's bed. He didn't know what to say or ask so he simply offered him a joint hoping he'd take it and finally open up after a few hits.

"Why are you fighting with Fi?"

"Why do you give a shit?"

"I don't, but she doesn't deserve that." Lip honestly said before dragging the joint back up to his lips. "So you gonna tell me what's going on or do I have to lure it out of you with a fucking bone or some shit."

They shared a small laugh before Ian spoke. "Just.. fucked up."

"Fucked up what?"

"Doesn't really matter."

"Since when do we keep secrets from each other? I mean I told you when Karen gave me a hummer under the table while her mother, was ten feet away."

"Yeah.. you're disgusting."

"Mm, I know," Lip smirked while looking the other way. "So what's up?"

"Mickey.." Ian whispered after inhaling a long hit.

"He did that to you?" Lip chuckled as he snatched the joint out of his brother's hand.

"I swear if you say I told you so, I will lose it."

"So what happened?"

"Exactly what you think."

"Yeah, I'm sorry man," Lip said without caring to hide his grin.

"No, you're not, asshole. Stop smiling."

"Looks like he got you pretty good. How long are his nails man? You're bleeding."

"I don't care."

They were now on their second blunt when Lip's phone buzzed on his bed snapping them both out of their haze. He noticed his older brothers lip curling up in a small smile as he read the texts in the middle of the room.

"Who you texting?" Ian quizzed, nosily.

"Just, some girl," Lip answered casually.

"Some girl? Mandy?"

"What? Fuck no."

"If you're gonna start banging my best friend then you better not break her heart."

"What heart? Milkovich's don't have hearts." He joked.

"You're a fucking dick you know that?"

"Yep." Lip practically sang. "Anyway, it's not Mandy."

"You're going through with the deal." Ian judged while shaking his head in disbelief, unable to believe that his brother could be that stupid. "Wow."

"Ay, this chick is hot."

"Do you even know her name?"

"Krista? Christine? I don't know."

"You're a slut man." He mocked, passing the joint back to Lip.

"And what are you huh? The guy who donkey dicked Roger Spikey."

"Alright fuck off." Ian laughed. "At least I'm not screwing one chick while chatting up another, to get a different girl.. in bed."

"No, you're just fucking around with some Asian while pretending to be a punk to get a straight homophobic piece of shit to jerk you off."

"He already did.." Ian accidentally confessed.

"What?! When? Why didn't you tell me?"

"Because you'd tell the whole fucking world."

"No, I wouldn't. We're Southsiders man, snitching earns you a death sentence."

"Don't be so dramatic. We jerked each other off then he pulled a 180 saying he isn't gay and choked me because I wouldn't back off."

"Why didn't you just back off?"

"Because I know what he really wants. The look he gets when-"

"Dude I don't want to know.. that." The older brother interrupted. "Why don't you just leave him alone for a while? Go out, get laid. Go to one of those... gay bars, find someone you like, have some fun."

"Yeah I, don't know... by the way, I'm not messing around with Warren anymore."

"Who? Asian guy? My point is still valid."

They exchanged scornful looks then went back to puffing on joints and smoking cigarette's like they were going out of business. Several sticks later, Carl burst through the door looking like a sad puppy who lost his loving owner.

"Hey bud," Ian greeted, higher than Snoop dog ever was. "I'm sorry for yelling at you before."

"Whatever. Are you sick?"

"Huh? N-No? What do you mean?"

"I mean, are you sick like mum?.." Carl asked in almost a cry.

It seemed as if everyone and everything went dead silent. You could vaguely hear the gang bangers halfway down the street in all the silence. Lip and Ian stared at each other like aliens not sure what to say after that. Their mother isn't really a good subject to just chat about. After she left two years ago-dumping a two-month-old baby and four other kids on Fiona's lap-no one dared to talk about her in fear of breaking down. They loved her with all they had even if she disappeared for months on end, but she absolutely destroyed them when she never came back. Lip and Ian were somewhat used to it but the younger two,.. it cut deep, deeper than anything ever could.

"Mum used to act like that before she left.."

"I'm not her Carl. No one's going to be like her." Ian reassured.

It was extremely awkward talking about this specific subject when no one has in years. He wasn't sure if he believed his older brother when he said no one will be like her, but he didn't necessarily want to think too much of it. While Lip and Ian looked anywhere but each other, Carl lugubriously strolled over to his bed then crawled under the covers never to be seen for the rest of the night.

The buzz was dead that was for sure. The entire discussion was over. They stubbed out their joints then hid their secret-not so secret- stash in the most obvious spot. With the conversation now non-existent they climbed into their own beds without a word, both laying towards the walls, desperately trying to forget that heartbreaking mini conversation. Both of them put up big fronts pretending they were totally okay with Monica leaving, but honestly, they were the ones hurting the most.

With their mother being bipolar and having six kids, there was a huge risk that at least one of the siblings would take after her. It took a long while before any of them dozed off but when they did.. it was in deep thought of their absent mother and a single question hanging over them.  _Which one of the six is going to inherit the awful disease?_

* * *

Over an hour had passed and they were unbelievably, undeniably high. Like word slurring, eat all the food high. They smoked nearly half an ounce of weed in one sitting so, I guess it was safe to say they were completely baked. They laid on the grass under the crescent moon in silence, staring out into oblivion with their red, glassy eyes. The dark night sky was anything but murky, in fact, it was virtually clear. The dim light of the shimmering stars above them was the only thing they could see.

Once in a while, they'd speak and have a minute conversation that no one could remember but it always ended with them both laughing their asses off uncontrollably. The unhealthy, delicious snacks Mandy had stolen was very close to gone as the siblings were scoffing it all down within minutes. Their pointless conversation took an unexpected turn once Mandy remembered a horrible, traumatic memory.

"I'm sorry.. about what happened,.. you know."

"Why are you sorry? It had nothing to do with you."

"Yeah, I know. You never told me the whole story and I don't ever expect to hear it but I should have fought harder to.." She paused to wipe a tear escaping her eyes. "We've always protected each other," She continued. "and I failed you.."

"Look it's not your fault. There's nothing you could have done okay. He's a dick."

"Yeah I know, I just wish things were different."

"Fuckin hate getting stoned with you." Mickey chuckled, attempting to change the subject.

"What, why?"

"Cause you never shut the fuck up,"

"Asshole." Mandy giggled as she elbowed him in the ribs.

"and you get all emotional n shit. I'm not... good with that. Not since-"

"Not since mum. I know. Seems like you're doing pretty good right now."

"I guess." Mickey confusingly said, furrowing his eyebrows. It wasn't his intention to be opening up or whatever it was that he was doing. It's just easy to talk to his sister since she's the only person in the whole world he has a connection with.

"I hate how he treated her." Mandy sighed while reaching for her pringles beside her.

"Mum?" He guessed while stealing her food.

"Yeah." She answered quietly. "I hate that he's a misogynist."

"And an asshole," he added.

"And vile,"

"Ruthless,"

"Egoistical,"

"Ahh abusive," He said racking his brain for something smart to say like his sister.

She filled her mouth with snacks before continuing, "O-Omnipotence seeker,"

"Heinous,"

"Homophobic," Mandy mumbled without thinking while chewing a mouthful of chips.

"What?!" Mickey gasped almost choking on his food.

_Why would she say that? Does she know? Did Ian tell her this time?  Did I hear that right or is my mind fucking with me? She did say homophobic right, as in dude on dude. Why would she even care what Terry believes in it's not like she has anything to worry about with all the guys pumping into her every week. What if she does know, would she care? Is this a fucking test?_

"Nothing, forget it." She dismissed.

"No, if you've got something to say fuckin say it!" Mickey snapped as he sat up abruptly.

"Jeez Mick calm down. It's just it would be a lot easier if he wasn't so against it."

"And why's that?"

"Look I know you're against it too so don't worry about it."

"I'm not... worrying," He lied. "Just tell me for fuck's sake."

"Fine. If I tell you can you promise not to act out like you normally do?"

"Okay fuckin whatever."

_She knows. She knows. She knows._  He felt sick to the stomach. Not the type of sickness you feel when you can't handle weed, the type when you feel like your world is about to fall apart. His mouth went dry as he grounded his teeth together in desperation to know what it is she knows. His heart was racing like a motor cross bike and all he could think about is what she would say, what she would think and is she going to tell Terry.

"Ian's gay and if dad finds out he'd probably beat the shit out of him right? What if he stays over one night and Terry works it out if he says the wrong thing or walks the wrong way or something fucking stupid like that. I don't know what to do. I just don't want him to get hurt." She paused to analyze her brothers face unfortunately it was blank, impossible to read. "You gonna say something or?"

"So that's it? He's.. gay there's nothing else?"

"Yeah what did you expect? That I was gay? Please, I couldn't go taco if my life depended on it."

At least that's something they have in common. He relaxed a tad and went back to eating whatever the fuck Mandy had bought, with her watching his every move.

"Okay then."

"That's it? 'Okay then'? Thought you'd have some snarly homophobic comment up your sleeve."

"I.. don't care."

"You? Mickey Milkovich doesn't care about a fag in the streets?" Mandy asked confused as hell but Mickey just shrugged and took another drag.

If Ian came over a lot more, better yet slept over then he wouldn't be able to get away from him. They could mess around a lot more, get creative with sneaking around maybe actually fuck. Not that he was thinking about it or that Ian would even want to after how he treated him earlier. He shouldn't have acted out like that and he knew it.

"Who are you and where the fuck is my brother?"

"Not who you think I am Mands. Get the fuck up, let's go home."


	4. Craving

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, so I may have gone overboard and allowed myself to write two in-depth graphic scenes in this one chapter. I hope it's not too much. Anyway, this is just the start of the beginning. Buckle up because it's going to be one hell of a ride.

"What are we doing here?" Ian asked as they started walking towards the high school.

"I told you already."

"No, I mean what are we doing here?" Ian repeated only in a different way. "You know the point of getting suspended means not coming back to school."

"You're suspended, not me."

"And what if someone sees me on the property?"

"Relax, what are they gonna do suspend you twice?"

"Ah, yeah."

She was meant to be ditching school to hang with him since Kash didn't need the extra help (due to his new employee) instead of walking towards the place they're supposed to be avoiding. He had already completed four days of suspension and detention, so he definitely did not want any more punishment if he was to be caught. He just thanked god this was the last day of torture in the place students call prison.

Once they got closer he saw a couple boys standing on the sidewalk smoking darts and laughing like annoying fucking jocks. He had automatically recognized them from the other day when Lip and Mandy made that idiotic deal in the courtyard. He never thought they'd actually go through with it. Meanwhile, he's up all night listening to Lip give him way too much information about sexting this brunette all night long, hoping to get some ass before Mandy did.

"Really Mands?"

"What?"

"You really going through with this? Why don't you just bang my brother and get it over with?"

"Who Lip? What are you talking about, I don't want to bang lip."

"Sure you don't."

"I don't! I just want to win the deal that's it."

He smiled, mostly to himself knowing for a fact that she, his best friend, has a thing for his brother. He wondered how long it was going to take for them to get over this stupid fucking deal and just get straight to the prize. Maybe he should stop them from doing the deed with randoms; well at least stop Mandy because Lip really doesn't give a flying fuck who he sticks it in. She shouldn't be pouncing on any guy she see's or remotely finds attractive. Sex is supposed to be meaningful, intimate not a two-minute session with someone you don't know. He cares too much for her to just let her throw her self-respect out the window like it's nothing, but yet again maybe he should steer clear of the whole situation. It really isn't his place to stick his nose in shit that doesn't have anything to do with him.

"Whatever." Mandy sighed sensing that Ian didn't believe her. "So what about you?"

"What about me?"

"You're into someone I can tell. Who is it?"

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Oh please, don't give me that shit." Mandy pushed with a wide smile. "Just tell me."

"I don't like anyone."

She nudged him in the arm playfully, smirking, waiting for him to fess up and tell her the truth. In the short time, she'd known this cute ass redhead she'd gotten to know him pretty well-well enough that she could see straight through him.

"Okay fine I.. sort of like someone but it's not a big deal."

"Oo, who is he? What's his name?"

"It's.. complicated."

"Unique name, 'complicated'. Wonder if his parents were off their faces when they named him." They both chuckled at Mandy's remark as Ian exuberantly knocked her shoulder with his. "I'll be right back. Wait here."

She pulled her shirt down to reveal as much cleavage as she could, fiddled with her beautiful dyed hair then took off waltzing down the street, already acting like her slutty self. After confidently flirting and basically shoving her breasts in some guys face (that she probably doesn't even know the name of) she skipped back to Ian with an excited grin.

"Look what I got!" Mandy cheered as she waved her cheap phone in Ian's face. "One last task and the war is won."

"So sex is a task now.." Ian scoffed with judgment.

"What's that?"

"Nothing." He said playing it off like it didn't bother him. sighed.

"Whatever. That guy's hot right? Like Smokin hot. Can't wait to jump his bones!" She rambled on.

Ian unintentionally sighed, the loudest sigh he'd made in a while as his best friend went on and on about screwing this guy she'd just met. Mandy slowed down, confused, and abruptly jumped in front of Ian, pushing him back with her hand on his chest. Having no choice he stopped in his tracks and looked at Mandy's puzzled face with a twinge of guilt already.

"If you've got something to say just say it."

"It's nothing.."

"Say it!"

"It's just,.. you shouldn't use your sexuality as a weapon." Ian blurted. "You have so much potential Mandy you shouldn't be-"

"Be what? Huh, shouldn't what?"

"Prostituting yourself.," Ian said in a quiet whisper, scared of her response.

Mandy was taken aback by Ian's cold, hard comment. She stood back and took a deep breath while shock washed over her until anger replaced it. When she turned at last to face him there was no trace of tears, not in her eyes or in track marks on her reddening face it was only when she dashed forward, inches away from Ian's face was when he saw her watery, glassy eyes. She was on the verge of breaking down. Fuck.

"A Gallagher looking down on me, I don't think so!"

"Mandy-"

"No! I'm sick of everyone judging and shaming me. I didn't expect to get it from you too."

"I'm sorry M-"

"You don't think of Lip as a hooker though right? Just me?"

"Look I'm not judging I just think you should go after what you really want instead of doing this."

"Doing what? Enjoying myself. Having fun like everyone else can. Like every guy can. You men can sleep with however many people you fucking like and what do you get? Applause? Women get shamed. Every. Fucking. Day."

"I'm not shaming you and I'm not trying to judge you. I'm just saying-"

"Just saying I'm a whore?" Mandy interrupted again. "Out of everyone in my life right now I thought you'd be the only person not to think of me like that. Fuck you, Ian."

"Mandy,"

"No Ian, leave me alone. I'm going to school."

She angrily stormed off leaving Ian speechless and confused on the side of the road. He really shouldn't have said anything to her. He just wanted to protect her from horny teenage boys who would just fuck her a couple times then leave her all alone wondering what she had done or what she could have done to keep them. Sounds exactly like Lip. Perhaps he isn't so worried about the deal she made, maybe he's concerned as to what his brother could do to her. He's never had a monogamous relationship or a relationship at all, and he knew Mandy well enough to know that Lip screwing around on her would destroy her inside and out.

Whether or not that would actually happen was unknown. He knew that if he involved himself in this situation, even more, he'd push them further together, potentially being the single reason they start up a dysfunctional relationship. He was reading too much into it, thinking they would be toxic for each other when he couldn't possibly know that. They might be the best thing to happen to one another.

* * *

Mickey Milkovich was back to his old tricks more so then when Ian made an unforgettable appearance in his 'meaningless life' as he periodically called it. Bashing anyone in sight who had the audacity to look at him in an unpleasant way, stealing every tube of Pringles on each aisle at any store in sight, and sleeping like there's no tomorrow. It was ridiculous how much worse he had gotten. Granted Mandy had been pushing him to straighten himself out by getting himself a real job and stop causing trouble in the neighborhood but he only half listened-by not getting caught committing those sinful acts. She of all people should know he wouldn't listen to a thing she said especially if it involved ultimatums. So what if she stopped doing his school work for him? He doesn't see a future for himself anyway. What's the point of even finishing school? Although Mandy had been dragging him to detention every single fucking day he couldn't get out of that.

Detention was exceedingly difficult to get through mainly because he had to spend two hours of his day in a locked room with Ian. He was just relieved Ian didn't make another move on him or even look his way because he wasn't sure he'd be able to hold himself back. Ian usually sat as far away from him as possible and stared out the window for a hundred and twenty minutes straight. He knew Ian was keeping his distance because he scared the living shit out of him the other day. Rightfully so. But even under the circumstances and all the walls he had built, he genuinely felt guilty seeing him so down; although he'd never do anything about that. His bad boy rep can't get tarnished. Thankfully detention was almost over with.

He was many, many things one being a ruthless criminal, but a little bitch who chases dorky redheaded boys pretending to be rebellious is NOT one of them. His life is tremendously impenetrable, especially when he was currently trying to dodge the police chasing him and his brothers around the Southside. Typical drug deal gone horribly wrong.

"Colin. Colin! GET THE FUCK OVER HERE!" Iggy ordered from behind a dumpster with Mickey close beside him.

"I just don't understand how they knew. Only we did, well and the buyers but they wouldn't snitch." Colin rambled on.

"Shut the fuck up princess." Mickey snapped.

"Yeah, stupid." Iggy joked. "Fuckin cops might hear you."

"Are you dense? You're the one being fucking loud."

Terry had commanded them all earlier that day-virtually dawn-to handle his cocaine exchange on their own to 'prove how much of a man they really are' and basically manipulated them into agreeing. They really had no choice in the situation because if they refused their father, they'd end up looking as horrible and beat up as the Kylie Jenner's lip challenge fans.

Once they rocked up at the drug trade behind shipping containers in Kronos International Shippers the other half of the exchange was already there and waiting. Only Terry-a physically and emotionally abusive, tyrant, drug user-would be involved with one of the most notorious and punctual drug dealers in the city. The whole thing had gone perfectly, just as they planned, at least until multiple police officers showed up out of the blue fully armed and demanding (more like screaming) that they put their hands up in surrender. Seconds later bullets were flying everywhere incessantly from both ends. The brothers had ran from the sight in a blink of an eye and now were making their way back home, trying to dart away from the cop cars prowling the streets along the way.

"You know what? This is your fucking fault!" Mickey harshly blamed.

"My fault?" Iggy repeated to make sure he heard it right. "How is this my fault?"

"You're the one that agreed to this shit."

"Fuck you, Mickey! What was I supposed to do? Say no?"

"Back off little brother," Colin warned. "We all caved not just him."

"Whatever." He dismissed, not wanting to admit to himself that he had agreed in a millisecond.

They had stolen a shitty car from a parking lot closer to home but now they don't have a care in the world to scramble back to the scene of the crime to retrieve it. So now they were stuck hiding in the shadows and swiftly ducking behind the closest thing they could see when someone walked past. Running home on foot took seven times the amount it would take by transport especially when wherever they turned all they saw was blue and red flashing lights. Apparently, a little drug dealing and gunshots called for the whole police department to be out looking for the 'big bad criminals'. Dyspneic was an understatement when it came to them, they were completely out of breath and in aching cramps by the time they arrived in their neighborhood an hour and a half later.

They came to Homan Avenue, only a couple streets off from their own. They had slowed a while ago when they noticed no one was following them this far out. Colin clutched onto his sweater filled with cocaine packages while Iggy rambled on about the most vacuous of things. Mickey, on the other hand, was frozen on the sidewalk, a few feet behind his older brothers, staring out at something or someone that shocked him to his very core.

"Mickey hurry the fuck up man," Iggy called out once he noticed he was so far behind.

He was way too distracted watching a certain ginger indignantly stomp his way up the sidewalk further down the street to notice Iggy (and now Colin), repeatedly calling his name to get him moving. From what he could see from the distance, Ian seemed furious, perplexed and maybe,.. hurt? It was confusing trying to read his face from afar but he knew one thing for sure he wasn't at all himself.

Ian furiously kicked a toy pram out of his way not caring if he broke it or not in all the mixed emotions spinning inside his head. Eventually, he planted himself on the steps after pacing around the front yard, brooding about the harsh things he has said to Mandy. Jimmy/Steve took a seat next to him moments later and handed him a beer in silence, waiting for him to start talking about what's got him so rattled. He never did but it was nice just unwinding with a fellow friend and a cold delicious beer.

"Ight, we're leaving you here," Iggy said, giving up trying to get Mickey's attention.

He snapped out of watching Ian like a hawk and took off down the street pretending he didn't just observe Ian's every move. It could almost pass as admiring him. Whatever. He'll forget about it with a bottle of Jack and OJ as soon as he gets home.

"Hey, dad." Colin greeted.

"Where's my coke?" Terry boomed insensitively without so much as a hello. Of course, drugs is more invaluable to him than the well-being of his own children.

"Right here." He answered as nicely as possible while handing him the package.

"Hello to you too dad," Mickey mumbled under his breath.

"What was that boy?!"

"Nothing, sorry." He apologized like clockwork.

"Why the fuck are you all late? Huh?"

"Cops showed up. Don't worry they didn't get a clear shot of our faces." Iggy explained.

"Yeah, I just don't know how they knew." Colin wondered.

Terry shrugged and turned his back to them already getting his coke lined up on the table. Usually, when he hears the word 'cops' he acts out in a destructive rage and blames them all for being foolish enough to get caught or close to being caught. This time though he didn't give a flying fuck. _Why the fuck doesn't he care? Is he high already, is that why he isn't worried about it?_ Maybe he'll remember what Iggy said later on and punish them all for it. Or perhaps he was the reason they nearly got arrested. Is it possible he was the reason they showed up in the first place? It's a huge stretch but it's possible, right? The sellers wouldn't snitch on themselves neither would they so that only left one other person that knew. Was this some kind of a fucked up test? Mickey better be a hundred percent sure on this one if he's going to confront his father about this.

"You're the one that called them."

"What?" Iggy asked, confused.

"He called the cops on us." Mickey accused.

"What? He wouldn't do that." Iggy said defending his father. "Southies don't snitch especially him."

"Bullshit. Dad?"

"I didn't fucking snitch you ingrate." Terry angrily cursed. "Fuck off."

"Yeah, then who did?"

He snorted all three lines he had perfectly set out then snapped back around to all three of his boys. "You needed to prove yourselves."

"Wait, what?" Colin interrupted.

"I needed to see that my piss poor excuse of sons could handle themselves in the real world. Looks like you can."

"So you set this all up? The fuck is wrong with you?!" Mickey yelled.

"DON'T RAISE YOUR VOICE TO ME BOY! I'M YOU'RE FUCKING FATHER!" Terry said screaming in Mickey's face. "You become a MAN when you handle you're own."

"I guess that's why you AREN'T a man."

Terry flung forward and hit Mickey over the head with something he had picked up along the way. The brothers tried pushing him away from Mickey but in all his rage he overpowered them all and started smashing up anything in sight. He was like a tornado, a wreckage destroying anything in its path without remorse or regret. Iggy blocked most of the blows so he'd be the one coming out of it all with the most bumps and bruises. Sometimes, well most of the time, they couldn't come to understand or believe how heinous and insensitive this person can be. It's like he doesn't have any feelings towards anyone or anything but himself. A psychopath is what he is or close to it. They'll get out one day, believe that!

* * *

"Look you wanna do this or not because you're wasting my time." Some random guy harshly asked.

Mandy was in the ladies school bathroom with some guy she doesn't know ready to claim victory with the deal she made with Lip. She was pressed up against the wall of the bathroom stall unable to move an inch with the blonde man's whole body trapping her. She wasn't sure what to do in this scenario. What would happen if she changed her mind would he force himself on her? Should she just go through with it? It's not like she hasn't given it up for countless other lifers in the neighborhood and not just teenagers, grown men too. Pretty disgusting when you think about it; old men getting it up for a fifteen-year-old girl. It's just so wrong. She deserves A LOT better then what she's getting.

"No I-I don't want to do this."

"Wow." He sighed while shaking his head in disbelief. "I should have known."

"Should have known what?"

"That you're all talk, no action." He gratingly insulted while exiting the stall.

"Excuse me?!" Mandy gasped with her mouth wide open.

She'd never heard that before. From anyone. She was always that one girl that was the easiest to get into bed and now she's 'all talk'? What the fuck is going on?

"You're not woman enough to take this dick."

_What the fuck?_

"Asshole!"

"Slut!" He fired back oppressively.

She emptied all her rage onto his right cheekbone, splitting his skin open with all the many tacky rings she had on. He tumbled backward into the bathroom door, smacking his head on the side of the wall painfully. Mandy braced herself for the next attack by rolling up her sleeves and fisting her hands together. He grossly spat on the floor right above her feet, (which was one of the most feral things you could do) then left the room, slamming the door shut behind him.

She had absolutely no idea what had just happened. Was it so hard for him to accept that she could change her mind? Why does that make her 'not woman enough' or a 'pussy' but yet if she gave him what he wanted she'd get called things like 'easy' and a 'slut'. No matter what choice she'd make she'd end up getting treated badly. At least she still had her dignity and self-respect.

* * *

 

Lip stormed through the whole house searching for Ian furiously wanting to confront him about an accusation he had heard recently. When he found his little brother he was hovering over the sink in the bathroom splashing water on his face like he had done absolutely nothing wrong. That irked him more than he'd like to admit.

"Why'd you call Mandy a slut?" Lip questioned with his arms crossed over his chest, leaning against the door frame. Ian didn't notice he was standing there until he spoke, startling him by the sound of his voice.

"Jesus fuck. Little warning next time, dick?"

"Why did you call Mandy a slut?" He repeated.

"What?! I didn't."

"Sorry, a prostitute." He corrected in an acerbic tone.

"Wait, how do you know?"

"She told me at school this morning... before I saw her sneak off to the bathroom with some scrawny jock. Gonna be pissed if she won."

Ian shook his head ignoring whatever the hell Lip just said and took off down the stairs with him following close behind. "She's taking what I said the wrong way."

"Why don't you mind your own business, man."

"Why can't you both just screw each other and forget the whole thing? By the way, if anyone's a slut, it's you."

"Yea thanks, man." Lip sarcastically thanked.

He grabbed the juice from the fridge, poured only himself some not offering his brother any, then leaned against the bench opposite of Lip. After thinking it over moments before he might as well come out with what he really thinks about all this.

"Ah, I didn't mean to call her anything or hurt her feelings. I just don't want you hurting her." 

"What do I have to do with her fucking someone?"

"Come on Lip just admit it."

"Admit what?" He stubbornly asked with a smile.

"You're just using this excuse to get closer to her."

"No, I'm not."

"If you wanted to win the deal you would have already." Ian continued. "You want her to win."

"Why the fuck would I want that?"

"So she runs to you waving her victory in your face then you'll make your move on her. You think i don't know you Lip? I've lived with you my whole life. You're an asshole but a smart asshole. Don't do this to her."

"She can make her own decision. You're not her fucking babysitter."

"I know that but I'm not going to sit and watch you hurt her."

"Jesus, it's just a simple deal calm the fuck down."

"Whatever." Ian exhaled, giving up.

"Look, you care about her I get that but what you said to her was a dick move. Fix it."

It was the most genuine thing his brother had ever said for a girl which made him wonder if he could possibly be good to her. He doesn't know this side of Lip it was mysterious and unnatural. Beside from that, he needed to apologize to Mandy and he knew that. What he said was out of line and wrong for a best friend to say. He should have just told her to be careful or came at it in a totally different way instead of the way he addressed it. He didn't know it yet but it was his own fear of getting hurt that clouded the fact that not everyone would.

"What are you even doing here?" Ian asked, distracting himself from his own thoughts. "Shouldn't you be in AP calculus right about now?"

"What I can't ditch once in a while?"

Lip's phone vibrated in his hand for what could be the millionth time since he started texting that Christine girl or whatever her mystery name is.

"I'm not letting her win. I'll prove it to you."

"Yeah how?" Ian asked as Lip looked up from his phone grinning like he just won the lottery or the hottest chick in the South-side, either way, Ian understood why he was smiling. "You're disgusting."

"Ha-ha, see you later."

 

He met Christine or Christina at her house only a few streets over from his, unfortunately, it was directly across the street from Karen and Sheila. Oops. Making sure no one would see him he pulled his hoodie over his head and walked up the green steps of the bright red house. It was a strange combination of colors to be painted on a house, but it resembled Christmas so it was somewhat adequate.

He hadn't seen Karen at school that morning or in a few days for that matter, he was just praying she didn't see him walk into her neighbor's house. If she did their next conversation-which hopefully was non-existent-would be moderately awkward and unpleasant possibly for Krista too.

"So my parents are out at work but that's probably some excuse to fuck around with each other." She joked as she flirtatiously eyed him like he was the icing on top of a cake.

"Okay.." Lip said really unsure of what to say. Talking about her parents isn't what he came for, in fact, if she went on about them it would be considered a massive turn off.

"Have the place to ourselves, finally. How about we do some of those naughty things you mentioned in your texts." She suggested flopping down on her bed.

"Yeah!" He said eagerly.

Almost immediately he tore off his wife beater revealing his impressively ripped abs and perfectly sharp v line while the brunette slid her lace panties down her short tan legs to her ankles. As soon as his jeans hit the wooden floor he was on top of the beautiful woman in an instant. They sloppily made out for a while but not too long, both longing to get in each other's pants.

He couldn't get a boner for the girl whose name he'd long forgotten. His cock was like a dead slug, all withered up and non-functioning. Embarrassed was nowhere near the word to describe how he was feeling right now. This has to be the single most mortifying thing to ever happen to a man. He jumped off the bed awkwardly trying to avoid eye contact out of sheer humiliation.

"I'm sorry.."

"Whatever." She sighed while pulling her shirt back on.

"It's not you. Ah, fuck!"

"I'm sick of all you guys on anti-depressants!"

"What?" Lip confusingly asked.

"Just get out. Now."

He bolted out of her house as fast as he could trying to figure out what in the hell was wrong with him. Could he still be traumatized by seeing that naked man on the L a couple weeks ago or was there another reason? Something more complex than that. He was jerking off fine, better than fine actually so what was going on? Never had this ever happened to him. Well, he'd technically only ever done the deed with a certain blonde so maybe trying to be with someone new was disagreeing with him. Maybe he needed to dip his toe in first to see how the water is before diving in head first.

"Fuckk." Lip groaned once he saw a tiny blonde woman waiting for him under the L.

He strolled down the sidewalk already lighting his cigarette, hoping Karen wouldn't confront him about his afternoon activities. It wasn't any of her business but he already knew she'd make some ignorant comment about it. Then again who is she to judge him? Karen Jackson, the girl who has slept with half of the South-side without so much as a second thought. Perhaps she has some sort of disease from all the disgusting guys she's slept with.

"How was it?" Karen asked with a beaming smile.

"How was what?"

"My neighbor."

"I don't know what you're talking about."

"Well, I just spent my morning with Freddrick. So it's either tell me about your day or you can listen about mine."

"How about,.. neither!" Lip grinned while attempting to walk away from her.

"Not go as planned?" She guessed.

"Don't judge me."

"I wasn't?"

"Good because you have no right."

"Why not have some fun with me? Haven't hooked up in a while. I miss you."

"Sure you do." He doubted as well as reluctant to give her what she wants.

"I do. Come on. Pleasee." She begged while following after him.

The downside is he didn't technically get laid by the person he was supposed to so he may have lost the deal. The upside was he may conceivably have another possibility of winning this deal. So what if he gets laid by another woman. As long as it's someone from their school right?

"Alright fine." He caved.

Once again he couldn't get an erection, not even for the person he'd been screwing for months. What the fuck is going on with him? He left Karen in her room toying with herself for a change while he shamefully fled her house.

He couldn't stop walking around and around several blocks trying to pinpoint the exact moment he wasn't able to perform properly. Why is his body fucking with him the very day he needed it to cooperate? He spent the past hour puffing on cigarette's and strolling the streets until he stumbled upon a house he'd recognized from when he and Ian went to drop off a certain brunette two days ago. 1955 S Trumbull Ave; The Milkovich house. He softly knocked on the door in case someone other than Mandy answered and cursed at him in the doorway. Unfortunately, Iggy was the one to open the door with a vexatious attitude.

"What do you want?"

"Ah, I'm here for Mandy."

"MANDYY SOMEONE'S HERE FOR YOU!"

"Who is it?" She asked with her angel like voice.

"Some horny fuck you're probably banging," Iggy answered while glaring at Lip, clearly being a smart ass. "Wear a condom man." He whispered.

"What are you doing here Lip?" Mandy questioned once she reached the door.

"Lip? As in Phillip Gallagher? You bed hopping the Gallaghers now?"

"What the fuck are you talking about?"

"First that ginger now his brother? Jesus."

"I never fucked Ian you retard. Fuck off."

He backed off smiling and disappeared out the door probably to get out the house while his sister presumably had her weekly fuck session. Mandy brushed her bangs out her face then turned to Lip who was unsure of what to say.

"What are you doing here?"

"You owe me fifty bucks." Lip lied. He wasn't going to admit defeat so he'll spin a little lie instead.

"Was gonna say the same thing to you." She dissembled as well.

"Oh yeah?" He said quirking an eyebrow.

"Yeah."

"Where's the proof?"

"Where's yours?"

She coquettishly grinned and twisted a strand of hair around her finger as Lip racked his brain for something smart to say. He came up with nothing partly because Mandy's breasts were basically in his face distracting him from thinking. She was looking at him provocatively like she wanted to strip him naked and ride him like a wild bull. He had noticed how attractive she was before; from the very second he saw her actually, but now he was really looking at her. She was so fucking sexy it was undeniable. Every inch of skin he scanned admirably was nothing other than perfect. Even her long fluttering lashes and piercing blue eyes were turning him more than anyone ever has in that very moment.

They both leaped forward in unison, smacking their ready and waiting lips together in a sensual and passionate kiss. Their hands held each other's faces in place as they started walking back into the wall, feet stomping all over each other. They both tasted as fresh and minty as toothpaste and smelt as divine as soap. Lip had a small hint of pancakes and coffee from that morning to his scent which only made him smell a thousand times better.

The hard gyp-rock wall was vastly uncomfortable with the half peeled, rusty paint stabbing her in the back, but she didn't care, not one bit because she was making out with the hottest senior in the school. He was so fucking perfect with the way he: looked, talked, even the way he fucking walked. The simplest things he did was exceedingly attractive especially when he wasn't trying to be sexy. He lifted her off the floor and wrapped her legs firmly around his waist just as he started trailing wet kisses down her chiseled jaw to her neck. He pressed his growing erection into her crotch dragging a sexy, orgasmic groan out of her. It was like music to his ears. He continued to kiss her neck, and her chest then back up to her throat sucking tiny red bruises absolutely everywhere all while Mandy fisted his hair and panted heavily into his ear. She didn't know how badly she wanted him. How much she craved for him until now, at this moment when he's grinding on a particularly special body part through layers of clothes. 

Lip pressed closed mouthed kisses all the way back up her throat to the corner of her mouth. He slowed his consistent movements against her until he came to a stop, confusing Mandy's little, not-so-innocent mind. He pushed his entire body onto hers, pinning her tiny figure securely on the wall so he could delicately cradle her face using both hands without her falling to the ground.

"Is this okay?" Lip asked, genuinely wanting to make sure she was giving consent.

"More than okay," Mandy whispered against his lips.

He carried her to the closest room nearby which surprisingly tuned out to be hers. They fell on the bed in a heap, all laughs and giggles never breaking apart their tongues. At first, Lip was on top grinding down on Mandy's crotch as they devoured each other only until she unexpectedly flipped them over so she was sitting on his lap. With a playful smile, she yanked her tight black shirt over her head while he did the same, watching her the whole time. They linked eyes for what seemed like hours, days, almost getting lost in each other until Mandy startling rolling her hips on Lip's twitching lap. After a while of absolute heaven, she felt around in his pocket with a wicked grin then pulled out a Trojan Ultra Thin condom.

Seconds later Lip was completely unclothed and lying there in all his nakedness while Mandy friskily smiled with nothing on but a dark, short skirt. She ripped the condom open with her teeth, completely aroused, ready to get laid. Somehow that sight caused his dick to twitch in anticipation and her eyes lit up with excitement once she saw how eager lip really was. She slowly leaned down and pressed a deep, meaningful kiss on his lips enjoying the way he tasted before getting back to what they both _really_ wanted. After she pinched the tip of the condom she carefully rolled it on his erection making sure not to poke any holes. Once they were safe and completely protected they literally wasted no time at all in getting busy.

The entire bed was making an awful racket banging against the wall over and over and over again. His hands melted into her hips as she rolled on his lap, breasts bouncing on her chest and hands lost in her dark chocolate hair. She dropped her head back and screwed her eyes shut as sensual pleasure took over her whole body. Lip was in awe of her. In awe of the way she was moving, the way she didn't hold herself back in losing herself in this feeling, and how she looked with her mouth hung open with this fucking goddamn sexy, lustful expression. She braced herself better by placing her hands on his firm chest and adjusted her seating then started enthusiastically bouncing up and down on his lap, repeatedly. She felt so fucking good, like ecstatic type good. She was so fucking tight and immensely wet it almost impossible to believe how incredible this felt. Looking at her right now, at this moment all he could see was an impeccably tempting, seductive and bright young woman; everything a teenage guy could ask for.

Lip unexpectedly flipped them over stirring a small chuckle of surprise out of Mandy then started pounding into her at an erratic, uneven pace. He couldn't keep a steady pace, it was close to impossible to get a rhythm because he was so fucking lost in the feeling and her eyes, body, and soul. He never wanted to stop. They both didn't. It felt right for once; not like they were screwing someone they hardly know or don't care about. She pulled his face down to hers, connecting their lips in an intimate tongue kiss then draped a leg over his hip. He ran his hand down her body to her leg and held it in place on his hip, ass their tongues massaged together perfectly.

"Fuckk.." Mandy moaned into Lip's mouth as he started rubbing her clitoris with his thumb in circular motions.

"You like that?" Lip asked in a whisper.

He knew what he was doing that's for sure. I guess all that time with Karen finally paid off. Her mind was like a foggy mist; she couldn't see or think clearly especially with Lip pleasuring her like he is. She tried focusing on making out with him and being impeccably sexy but it was getting kind of hard with him stimulating her clit and provocatively licking into her mouth. She was losing her mind. This wasn't what she had expected at all, not that she had expected anything.

It felt like her entire body had exploded when she came so quickly. She had never had an orgasm like that or moan so loudly in her life. _What the actual fuck?_ Usually, boys in her neighborhood didn't give a shit about her feeling good and just used her as an object for their own enjoyment. Lip, on the other hand, did everything possible to achieve that fucking earth shattering orgasm. She nodded then he continued screwing her trying to reach his own orgasm as Mandy yanked his face back down to hers again and made him grab her breasts to help him out. Seconds later he finished with a low, sexy moan then carefully pulled out of her, staring into her shining blue eyes the whole time. He rolled off of her then discarded the dirty condom in a nearby bin while she eyed him inconspicuously. He laid next to her, both naked and sweaty staring at the ceiling unsure of what to say.

"I ah.. I lied," Mandy confessed after a minute or two.

"Yeah? About what?" Lip asked, eager to find out what she lied about.

"I.. never fucked that guy in the bathroom."

"You didn't?"

"No." She said nervously.

"Well if we're being honest, you never owed me fifty bucks. I lied too."

They glanced towards each other with straight, sweaty faces and burst out in a pit of uncontrollable laughter. Her smile was stunning, more than stunning and her laugh was like a little five year old, adorable. He climbed on top of her and started tickling her sides wanting to hear more of her cute giggles.

"L-Lipp fuck! Fuck-king ssstop!!" She begged in between gasps for air.

"Why should I?" He questioned, still tickling her. "Mm?"

"PLEASEE!!"

He

"You're adorable," Lip whispered.

As she heard those words escape his lips, her heart skipped a beat against her best wishes and the feeling of butterflies fluttering away invaded her stomach. She didn't believe him, not for a second, well.. at least not at first because she wasn't sure if he was being serious or not. For her entire life, she'd been treated like a fucking object and not a human being by the one person that was supposed to love her unconditionally. She'd learned to live in survival, sparing every cent she and her brothers had, stepping on landmines around her father and steering clear of any emotional attachments for fear of getting hurt. She, like her brother, didn't think highly of herself. In fact, they thought of themselves as worthless, so sue her if she didn't fall for Lip's petty compliments. She stared into those pretty boy eyes and couldn't help the wide, beautiful smile spread across her flawlessly, perfect face. She was happy. In this single precious moment.. she was undeniably happy.

"Wanna go again?"

* * *

He spent the whole night icing his and his brothers' faces and avoiding 'the man he lived with since birth' at all costs until he drunkenly passed out on top of a whiskey bottle. Once he awoke around eleven in the morning which was still too early for him, he managed to drag his ass to school only to stop Mandy's persistent non-stop calling. He attended third and fourth period, collected all his missed school work over the past week then went back to his one and only true friend. His bed.

Now at approximately seven at night, Mickey was on his own stakeout. He was waiting outside a house with the small gate and blueish paint for twenty minutes straight. Bored doesn't do what he was feeling justice. He was bored as shit smoking cigarette after cigarette and staring at the same house. He wasn't sure what he was doing there or why he was just sitting outside in the cold. If he went inside everyone would question what in the world he was doing there. What would he say? _Hey, I'm just looking for Ian so, I can talk to him or,... not talk._ No way is he saying that. Should he just sneak in? Why does he even want to see him anyway? The last time they interacted it was definitely not friendly.

_Fuck it._

He threw his half-smoked cigarette into the gutter then calmly and nervously wandered over to the front door. Without making a noise or any sudden movements that would draw attention, he opened the door steadily and entered the small space with not one person noticing. He saw a little-redheaded girl (who was the spitting image of Ian), playing with a doll at the kitchen table. A brown baby was on her lap while Lip fiddled with huge books in front of him, possibly getting smarter than he already is. Fiona and a guy he recognized from yesterday on the porch was charging around the kitchen sorting out things for dinner.

He felt sad watching this, knowing his family could never be like that. He clenched and unclenched his hands then continued staring at the family. Fiona had stopped everything she was doing to plant a simple kiss on top of the little girl's head while the boyfriend cooked and called out questions for Lip to answer. It was all so domestic and loving but at the same time so strange to him. Was this what a real family was meant to be like? Should he just leave? He felt out of place like he wasn't supposed to be there; but once he got inside, he wasn't leaving.

He darted up the stairs without looking back at the sight. One because he didn't want to risk anyone catching him in their house staring at them like some creep, and two because he just couldn't bear to watch them socialize and be a family any longer. Just a glimpse at that made him realize how fucked up his family really is. No one is pressuring them to be drug dealers or bodyguards for a quick drive down to Antonio's. No one is repeatedly abusing them every day to the point that you're completely black and blue. No one in the family is snitching to the cops for a job they set you up to do, and no one is brainwashing them into believing they are a different person when they clearly are not. They had a half decent life from what little he had seen and he was jealous of it. Jealous of the love and admiration he had seen.

 

"Carl go help Fi in the kitchen." Mickey heard someone that sounded exactly like Ian say.

He was at the top of the stairs looking around, trying to determine which room could be Ian's. The one closest to him had pink shit all over the door so definitely not and the one beside it had a blue bra poking out of it. Guess it's not that one either.

"But I helped last night," Carl complained.

"You pulled out one bowl."

"But-"

"Go." Ian interrupted him.

"Fine dickhead."

Carl tossed the army knives on the bed, flipped Ian off, then stormed out the room making a racket. Once Carl exited the room he left the door open only a smidgen she Mickey could see Ian's foot tapping away on the floor. It could have been anyone's foot but he knew who's it was. He drew himself in closer, each step he took ultimately growing closer and closer to who he really his and who he should be. Possibly the best version of himself. He reached the door and only then realized how fucking nervous he was. His hands were shaking at a rapid, insane pace as they hovered over the doorknob, unsure on whether to go through with this.

_Fuck it._ Mickey thought again.

He pushed the door open and saw Ian playing with his phone anxiously looking like he wanted to text someone but couldn't decide if he should. He gazed up at Mickey, who was standing in the middle of the room awkwardly and eyed his whole demeanor. He looked good. Sultry even. What is he doing here? What does he want? After what he had done the other day he deserved nothing but silence so the silent treatment is all he's gonna get.

Ian shoved the objects Carl left in his drawer and pulled out a notepad to start doodling on. Mickey just awkwardly stood there not saying a word, waiting for Ian to ask what he was doing there but he already knew he was going to be an ass after how he treated him.

"You gonna tell me what you're doing here?" Ian gave in, glancing up through thick orange lashes.

He kept his mouth shut, not wanting to say anything out of shame and stared at the wood floor instead of flaming red. He snapped his head up when the younger man threw the notepad and pen on the floor having no use for it. He felt like he was committing the deadliest sin but at this very moment, staring at Gallagher's flawless face, he didn't give two fucks. Ian leaned back on his hands on the bed, crossing his feet, allowing his shirt fall back so the outline of his muscles stood out. He looked straight at Mickey, seductively smirking as he did so, knowing _exactly_ why he's there.

Mickey tilted his head to the side then back at Ian again, chewing on his bottom lip considering all his options. One, walk out and never talk to him again. Two, warn him about hurting his sisters' feelings as a cover. Or three...

"Hmm?" Ian hummed, cocking an eyebrow as Mickey watched.

He shred his sleeveless jacket in a blink of an eye not able to hold back a second longer. Ian leaped off his bed like a lightning bolt, clasped the hem of Mickey's shirt and practically tore it off his body without a care in the world. His piercing blue eyes scorched with fire as they burnt into innocent green ones. Mickey rapidly wrenched Ian's t-shirt off himself yearning to touch his luscious, pale, toned stomach while their eyes were practically magnetized together. It was going all so fast with the way Mickey was tearing off clothes left and right; it was nearly impossible to keep up with him.

The younger man kicked off his shoes then roughly shoved the brunette down onto his bed. Ian almost immediately climbed on top of him, hand resting on his bare chest, growing erections rubbing together through the material of their jeans. He softly ran his hand across the older man's soft chest, delicately tracing it down to his sternum; arousing deep feelings to the surface. He was attempting to make it slow, meaningful and affectionate when Mickey wasn't at all in the mood for being tendered; he wanted it to be fast and rough.

Strands of red hair lightly swept across his forehead, as their beady eyes stared into each other practically emerging as one. While their flawless faces were just inches apart daring one another to close the gap between them; Ian had only one thought: to finally sweep his tongue across his bottom lip and drive this man absolutely crazy. He knew he shouldn't. That he shouldn't dare, but he couldn't help himself. His eyes flickered to his slightly parted, deliciously plump lips then back to his gazing blue eyes. Obviously, he wasn't at all thinking clearly when he leaned down to peck those luscious lips. Mickey had made it so very clear that he does NOT want to be kissed on numerous occasions, so he quickly averted his head and reached down to grab Ian's rock hard cock, distracting him from the obvious.

His breath hitched in his throat once Mickey's hand wrapped around him, thumb stroking him nervously as he studied his alluring and sensuous face. Ian noticed his hand trembling with all the titillating pleasure he was being given so instead of ignoring it he pulled his hand away and rid himself of his jeans. He lifted his body off the bed as Ian leisurely removed his pants, looking him in the eye the whole time. Mickey wasn't sure what to do in this situation, but what he did know is that slow and subtle wasn't necessarily his thing. He wasn't one to get all in his feelings and shit but he'll just go with it anyway.

The younger man pinned Mickey's hands next to his head lowered his body onto his then rutted down onto him; massaging their leaking cocks together through their underwear. His dick twitched excitedly in reaction to Ian grinding on him. He couldn't help but drape both legs over Ian's ass to firmly pull him down closer, pushing Ian's rock solid erection harder against his.

"Tell me you want me," Ian demanded in a seductive, sexy tone that just made Mickey's heart speed up.

"W-what?"

"Tell me you want me." He wanted to hear him say it. He didn't really know why he just... needed to hear him admit it.

"Fuck. Off!"

"Just admit it."

_What the fuck am I doing?_ What was he doing? That was the question. Why is he doing this? How did that in the closet, criminal punk become this person? This person that would walk all the way to some freckled little Southies house and let him rub their dicks together. What the fuck was going on?

"Get off," Mickey demanded. "Get off. GET THE FUCK OFF!"

Ian jumped off in an instant trying to figure out what he had done wrong. Why is he backing out now? Should he have not said that? Why did he need to push him even further? Why can't he just be grateful for what he's getting instead of yearning and commanding for more?

Ian watched, dazed, as Mickey yanked his jeans back on in a rush, aiming to bolt out of the room as soon as humanly possible. Instead of wasting time to let Ian think of ways to get him to stay, he grabbed his shirt off the floor and ran towards the door. As he started twisting the doorknob, Ian banged his hand down on it, slamming the door shut and startling the living hell out of Mickey.

"Fuck off." Mickey cursed angrily. "Let. The fuck. Go!"

This whole cat and mouse game was getting kind of old and archaic. He knew what he wanted and he knew what Mickey wanted too; no matter how much he tried to deny it. He moved behind the brunette and shoved him against the door; hands on his waist, face resting on the side of his. Even after trying to escape that moment and what he is, he still liked and wanted this. He liked being forced against the wall with Ian's persistent hands trailing down his hips and muscular chest against his back.

"I'm sorry." Ian sincerely apologized, unsure of what he was apologizing for.

Could it be for asking him to say those words? Could it be for wanting and craving for more from him? Or perhaps it's for pushing him to accept who he is when he's clearly not ready. He knew deep down Mickey was in a lot of distress and pain, probably tortured.. emotionally, but he wasn't about to call him out on it or pry his way into his personal thoughts. It's one thing to involve himself in his sex life but it's another to start trying to communicate and converse with him. Relationship type things. He may be impulsive but he's not blind. Mickey Milkovich would rather die than be in a homosexual relationship or any relationship at all. Ian dropped his head to his shoulder in distress, longing for Mickey to show him any sign that he feels the same way he does. He didn't want to be that guy that pines after the one he likes only to be shut down time and time again. Unfortunately, he already was.

He leaned back into his embrace, enjoying the warmth and security of Ian. He felt safe without even knowing it. His body was completely against him. It was like his cock was calling the shots and not his brain; doing everything he tried to stray away from. Mickey pushed back against him, pressing his firm ass against Ian's impressively huge bulge. He couldn't remember being hornier than he was at that very second. Could guys or.. guy, singular, be the cure to his emptiness and depression? Maybe this was what he needed to fill the void all along.

He needed a release, any kind of release. He rested his head on the door in humiliation, preparing himself for what he was about to do. He moved Ian's hands quickly from his waist to his crotch and made him grab his stiff cock. The younger man didn't know what was happening, at all, but he was going with it; going with whatever Mickey wanted without pushing for more. Ian continued to jerk him off over his unbuttoned jeans with Mickey's hand firmly grasping his, to be certain he wouldn't stop. His heart was racing like a cheetah chasing its prey while his thoughts were running wild in his head.

Baggy denim jeans hit the hard wooden floor with a thump in timing with him whipping his hard seven-inch cock out in the open. Without question Ian grasped his excited dick again, sure that was what he wanted, apparently, it was. Now with better access to work with he began jerking him off, faster, eagerly while his other hand rested on Mickey's hip doing nothing but staying in its place. It was like walking on eggshells around him. If he said or done the wrong thing, even the tiniest of things he would flip out aggressively. At least jerking him off was fine, for now. Mickey fucking lov-liked the feeling of being himself for once. Being ultimately free even for a couple minutes in an unfamiliar, crowded room with a cute, freckly redhead.

He was unsure of what to do. If he touched him in a particular place he didn't like or wasn't ready for he'd freak the fuck out and bolt away but if he asked him what he wants to do, he'd still do the exact same thing. It didn't matter what choice he made because either way, it ended with the same shitty outcome; fucked and not in the good way. So he was so fucking grateful Mickey forcefully dragged his hand from his hip down to his ass and let him grab and grope him. He wanted this he just wasn't sure how to let him know he wanted this. Moving his hands to body parts seemed like a good idea when he couldn't verbally say what he wanted because he was in absolute fear. He came to the conclusion that he was going to ask anyway to be certain Mickey was consenting and not just forcing himself into something he didn't want to do at this point in time.

"A-Ah.. do.." He stuttered."You-"

But he couldn't ask him like physically couldn't get the words out, yet amazingly he could still keep a breathtaking rhythm as he jerked the other man's dick almost professionally. He wasn't about to lose him because of a selfish decision he'd made so he'd shut up and continue on except, except Mickey was already nodding agreeing to whatever unsaid question Ian was going to ask.

"You sure?"

"Y-Yeah." He answered, nodding his head. "Hurry the fuck up Gallagher."

He darted over to his bedside table, searched for his condoms and lube then turned back around to be in full view of Mickey Milkovich bent over, bare ass on display. Ian was completely taken aback. He didn't know that once you stripped him of his clothing he would get a thousand times sexier if that's even possible. The sight was beautiful and hot and seductive all at the same time. He tried walking that little distance as confidently as he could pull off but probably ended up walking like a nervous penguin. After rolling the condom onto his erection and squirting a decent amount of lube onto himself for extra protection, Ian took over Mickey's briskly hand by jerking his cock again, this time at a slow pace. While he steadily massaged him, he pressed a slick finger against his puckered hole and smirked when his whole body tensed up.

"Why is it fucking cold?" He irritatingly muttered.

"It'll warm up, don't worry."

"Whatever."

_God, he's adorable._ Ian continued to swirl his wet finger around his rim taking in every moan or impatient whimper Mickey sputtered out.

 

_"Faggots burn in hell. They're fucking disgusting abominations that deserve to be slaughtered."_

 

Every horrible thing Terry had ever said, every traumatizing thing he'd ever inflicted on his son to make himself feel invigorated flashed before Mickey's eyes and rang out in his ears, taunting him, reminding him of all the things that were presumed wrong. Ferociously drilling his beliefs into his teenage mind over and over again for years on end like the sick, masochistic predator he is. He deceived him into believing that being homosexual was repellent, that showing even a hint of affection was weak: letting your guard down, living with the law, acting as a dedicated American citizen, was all horribly wrong according to Terry. Well no more. He isn't going to live in his shadows anymore, scared and alone. He'll grow, make his own rules and be himself for once.

 

_"If you ever look at a faggot, I'll slit your fucking ingrate, faggot throat!"_

 

"Fuck you, dad," Mickey swore in a whisper just as Ian slipped one slick finger inside his tight, wet hole.

At first, it was very uncomfortable having something suddenly in his ass. Nothing had ever been up there so it was definitely strange but that was suddenly being taken over by a wonderful sensation once Ian started moving his one finger. He soon added another, then another working him open skillfully, making Mickey pant, grounding into it, silently pleading for more. Ian slowly and carefully continued fingering him being sure that it was as pleasurable and enjoyable as possible. The last thing he wanted was to hurt him then have him lash out once again. Mickey, on the other hand, was stuck between wanting the kid to continue finger fucking him soft and leisurely and wanting him to ram that obvious monster cock in him rapidly and raw ripping him in two. How did his thoughts turn to this within a few seconds? Once he felt that he was prepped enough he pulled his fingers out, grinning at Mickey groaning impatiently, then lined himself up against his ready and waiting hole. He pressed in slightly, barely, teasing him insanely. He could almost feel him rethinking this. Feeling the slight resistance, feeling Mickey push his firm ass against him in confirmation that he hadn't, in fact, changed his mind.

"Gallagher, hurry the fuc-" He was cut off by his own moan once Ian thrust into him, breaking him in. "Fuck." He whimpered.

And with that Ian ripped through his virginity with a single thrust, stretching out his virgin hole to the point of no coming back. It was a painful sensation coursing throughout his ass as Ian filled his hole, making him pierce his lip with his teeth, drawing blood up to the surface. The intensity of the burning sensation was unimaginable, nothing like he'd never felt before; but fuck it hurt so good. Ian's head fell back in delectation as the warmth of Mickey overtook his whole body; mind and soul included. He slowly pulled himself halfway out then pounded back into him, enjoying the ecstatic feeling of Mickey unintentionally clenching around him.

The feeling.. it was euphoric. It couldn't get any better than this. No amount of women willing to fuck him could ever compete against his. No amount of porn could ever give him this exact feeling. The pain and burning were gone by now and all that was left was his orgasmic pleasure. Mickey’s vision had gone blurry around the edges every time the redhead hit his sweet spot head-on with his tremendously large, nine-inch cock. Every whimper or moan he dragged out of the brunette from deep down within him, went directly to Ian's throbbing erection.

Mickey began fucking back onto him like the little sex freak he is, causing Ian to pant in surprise and hold back just a tad to let him take control. From what he could see it looked like the older man was very much enjoying himself. More than enjoying himself. If he was able to see his cute face at the moment he'd be sure his eyes were rolling to the back of his head with every single stab to his prostate. Mickey had all the control at this point. Ian practically sat back and watched the show as Mickey fucked himself on him, back arched with both arms bracing himself on the door for leverage. Surprising him he rammed forward, knocking the absolute wind out of Mickey’s lungs and making him moan like a Russian whore. _Fucking phenomenal._

They moved and fit together perfectly. Like two pieces of a puzzle. It was like they were magnetic; one pulled away for a slight second and the other was dragging them back in instinctively. Like they were made for each other. He hadn't noticed his cock was being neglected until Ian started to stroke him at the same pace as his thrusts. With his ass being pounded relentlessly, dick fondled and mind a swirling haze he was powerless. Powerless, helpless, and vulnerable; utterly and totally vulnerable. But he also felt stronger than ever while Ian was dominant and influential. Everything Mickey wasn't in this special moment.

"Ahh, fuckk!" Mickey whimpered after the younger man ran his thumb over his slit.

His whole body trembled in both surprise and excitement as Ian did the same thing again and again and again while he thrashed his ass like a fucking jackhammer. The younger man's balls were tightening immensely as they slapped between Mickey's ass. His unblemished skin was turning pale white as Ian's fingers dissolved into his hips. It would have been painful if he hadn't built up a huge tolerance for pain over the years. Besides the pain piercing his waist he felt a tingling sensation course throughout every square inch of his body; nothing he'd ever felt before or could even imagine. While he kept getting fucked in his ass, (something he could get used to by the way) he suddenly noticed this nagging feeling that something was building up and getting ready to burst out at any moment, at any second.

With one final jerk, they came together beautifully, in spurts of a white explosion, much like winter snow. Mickey had come barely a second before, so fucking hard without even feeling it coming. He had been on edge for so, so long that he didn't even feel it at first until a few moments later when he realized he'd just spilled his seed on this redhead's hand. Ian shot his load into his tight ass while his whole body and mind felt numb and alive at the same time; They both did, and for a brief moment they strangely felt both helpless yet in complete and utter control. He didn't want to admit it, (like most other things) but he didn't want the sex to end, neither did Ian. All they're left with now is vibrations making their way out their hot, sweaty bodies, the sound of their hearts hammering rhythmically out of their chests and a question persistently nagging at both of them.

_What do I do now?_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for taking your time out of your day, or night, to read my story. You may think this story isn't going anywhere at the moment but trust me if you continue to read, you should prepare yourself for one bumpy ride!  
> Please leave your thoughts in the comments below, I'd love to read your feedback whether it's good or bad.


	5. Alliances

It was a low-key Saturday afternoon and Ian was working a lengthy eight-hour shift at the Kash & Grab to help out with huge money problems around the house. Fucking Frank had stolen all their food and toiletries and taken it back to Sheila's because he's a fucking prick that doesn't give a shit about his own family - only cares about his drug and drinking money. Fiona, Jimmy/Steve, and Lip were all working tiresome shifts at random places they had found at the very last minute, so it wasn't only Ian working his ass off to put food on the table. At first, Ian was taking care of Liam as he worked but Fiona had taken over and now had him glued to her 24/7, while the two younger ones were off somewhere probably causing some trouble. 

While he handed change to a middle-aged woman who looked like she was on a fucking crack bender, his mind drifted off elsewhere, to a tough teenage thug with beautiful, dark brown hair and legs as sexy as Blake Lively's. He hadn't seen or heard from Mickey in approximately three days, fifteen hours and twenty-one minutes, not that he was counting. It wasn't at all surprising really. After they banged three nights ago, Mickey had clothed himself as quickly as possible then left in a hurry - most likely ashamed and stewing about the events that had taken place. He was a hundred percent sure he was avoiding him at all costs, but it didn't bother him as much this time because he knew he'd come around at some point. He always does from what he'd gathered.

The store bell chimed before the woman could even collect her groceries off the counter so Ian looked up through long, orange lashes to make sure it wasn't some suspicious looking fuck that was going to rob the place. To his surprise it wasn't just a random criminal aiming to steal their food that walked in, well sort of... it was Mickey Milkovich. He was a little dirty but his adorable baby face and spiky brown hair that looked like he had half-assed styled it, made up for the filthiness.

"Got any Slim Jim's in this shithole?"

_Slim Jim's? What? Ohhh._

"Yup." Ian cockily answered in unison with the woman leaving the store.

He avidly waltzed over to him, locked the store door then flipped the closed sign over with a wicked, smug grin, incredibly eager to get in his pants again. It was rather odd that Mickey was coming to him for a quick fuck especially in a public place, ready and waiting. It was like he didn't have a second thought about fucking him (unlike last time) and if Ian was being totally honest, this new found confidence was fucking sexy.

"In the backroom."

He conspicuously watched Ian casually stroll towards the back of the store with 'fuck me' eyes, eyeing him from head to toe, admiring and craving his desirable figure and the cocky way he moved. He was just so goddamn sexy, so much so that Mickey couldn't stop the smile from forming on his face as he started removing his green scarf, following desirably after Ian. He pierced his bottom lip with his teeth while he eyed him up and down, taking in his everything, especially that perfect round ass. Damn.

The very second the door shut behind them they both impatiently stripped off their clothes in an instant, like fucking desperate housewives, eye-fucking each other as they did so. Their shirts remained glued to them like leeches as they both were too horny to care. They didn't bother getting completely undressed because they were way too distracted by the throbbing need to be on each other. They just wanted each other, badly. It was like a hunger, a craving, a desire... for one another. Neither of them knew they were starving until they tasted each other.

They moved together perfectly, Ian slowly fucking into him against the coolers, Mickey fucking back onto him with the occasional tug on his own cock while their low, seductive groans and grunts combined into one. It was perfect. They came simultaneously, like powerful firecrackers going off left right and center. It was sensational and magical, everything Ian had dreamt of, well, besides the fact that Mickey clothed himself quicker than he would have liked.

He fixed himself up then led Mickey to the front door, knowing that he wouldn't want to stick around after. "Soo, guess this was like a booty call huh?"

"Whatever, see ya."

* * *

The rest of the afternoon Ian was completely distracted from work and his mind was focused on Mickey Milkovich and his perfect round ass. In fact, it wasn't just the afternoon that he was in deep thought of him, it was the rest of the week too. Any chance he had he would jerk off to images of his ass bouncing on his cock and his orgasmic face as he took him in his mouth. Though often he wouldn't be jerking off alone, the brunette showed up out of the blue a couple times for a quick fuck then left without so much as a goodbye, which honestly didn't bother him anymore. He somewhat understood why he was acting like that but a small part of him wished for more. He'd never tell Mickey that though, he's getting enough as is. He should be grateful.

He hadn't really spoken to Fiona or Mandy for the past week and a half after he had treated them both so poorly. He felt guilty and contrite for the words he had chosen and the way he had acted out. He shouldn't have been so rude and presumptuous and he knew that he just didn't know how to make it up to them. It would be easier to apologize to Fiona because she forgives so easily and they're family but he had practically called Mandy a hooker; that's going to be harder to make up.

After he got let off work around four-thirty, he decided to walk the whole way home to clear his mind, instead of taking the L like he usually does. He was exhausted from lifting, re-stocking, and cleaning all day long but that didn't stop him from getting a little exercise on the way back home. Thirty or so minutes later he trumped up the sidewalk of his street, hands in his jacket pockets, staring blankly at the cement-like he was in another world. Another dimension. It wasn't until he heard a door slam shut and footsteps only a few meters in front of him when he snapped his head up, gobsmacked.

Mandy stared at him for a few seconds, dazed, then proceeded to leave the property while fixing her shirt without speaking a word to Ian. She missed him. Fuck did she miss him, but she was still slightly pissed at him for calling her a prostitute over some retarded deal, so no, she's not just going to forgive and forget because she ran into him on the street. Well,.. his house.

As she forcefully shoved past him, slinging her backpack over her shoulder, Ian felt his heart literally stop; like it was just struck by fucking lightning. Jesus, he misses her. "Mandy, wait!" Ian begged as he followed close behind her.

"What? You wanna call me more names? No thanks. Got enough of that in my life, I don't need more of it, especially from you."

"I didn't mean to call you that, okay?"

"No, it's not okay Ian!" Mandy shouted in a hoarse voice as she turned around to get all up in his grill. "It was just a fucking stupid deal and you go and pull some shit like that! How many people have you slept with huh? How many?"

Ian stared at the ground feeling a hundred times guiltier than he was ten seconds ago. His stomach turned and flipped like there were millions of tiny butterflies fluttering away in there; One for each emotion Ian was experiencing. He was speechless, more than that he literally didn't know what to say or how to fix it and it definitely didn't help that she was continuously yelling at him. He couldn't get a word in even if he tried.

"Exactly! So don't you ever fucking call me that again, you hear?"

"Yeah, I'm sorry. I didn't mean it Mands, it just came out wrong."

"Whatever." She tried dismissing.

"I was just worried about you."

"Worried about what? That I'll get some disease? Please, that's why condoms were invented by Charles Goodyear in 1839, and then patented in 1844, then-"

"Mandy! I wasn't worried bout... that. I was worried about my brother."

"Lip? What about him?"

"I don't know... that he was going to hurt you. He doesn't commit to anything Mandy."

"Yeah well, neither do I." She interjected. "I don't want a relationship Ian, I want to have fun. We're both fucking other people so he's not going to hurt me." Mandy explained. "Was that all you were stressing about?"

"Yeah, I guess."

"Why didn't you just fuckin tell me that in the first place?"

"I don't know,.. because I'm stupid."

"Fuck off, you're not stupid." She disagreed in a mellow, soft voice but yet still sounding powerful and honest.

"Yeah, says you." They exchanged affectionate smiles then bumped into each other playfully like they always do. Somehow it was easy to just fall back into their not-so-old habits. "So what were you doing in my house?"

She looked at him anxiously, knowing he knew what she was doing there, "Don't be mad." 

"I'm not anymore. It's fine."

"You sure?"

"Yeah. I shouldn't be judging." He muttered as they started walking down the street.

"What do you mean?"

"Nothing, don't worry."

"This about the guy you're seeing?" She prodded seeming exceedingly inquisitive about his love life.

"Sort of."

"Well deets please, who?!"

"I... can't tell you. He's on the down low, you know."

"Alright. Wanna go get drunk? Crash at my house for the night? Terry's AWOL so it's cool."

"Sure. I missed you Mands."

"Missed you too!" She beamed as she wrapped him up in one of her loving embraces. They both felt better already.

* * *

He isn't at all gay. Nope, not gay. It's just something he does on the side, like a dessert without the main course. Well, at least that's what Mickey had been telling himself the past two weeks, ever since he gave into his temptations... multiple times. What's the point in avoiding him more if he already gave in once? Might as well just keep giving in to what he wanted and he liked it what he is being given, he liked it more than he'd ever admit. He liked the feeling he got when Ian hit his prostate just right making him shudder, push back on him and a loud, sexy moan rip from deep within his throat. He liked the seductive look Ian would give through thick lashes when he's down on his knees, taking him in his mouth. But most of all, he liked that he could be himself around Ian, to some degree, even if it's clandestine short meetups.

He knew that If they were going to keep screwing around behind everyone's back, they needed a legitimate reason to be spending so much time together in case they got caught 'hanging out'. He didn't want someone to speculate if they were being suspicious, so if it somehow got around to anyone in his family he wouldn't be called out on being a fag - which he is not. Maybe having the same job like Mandy suggested would be a good idea, but work might not be a strong enough reason. He needed to find something else; Something much smarter and stronger because he wanted to keep this up with Ian. I mean obviously he did, why else would he keep showing up out of thin air for a good fuck if he didn't? But he really wanted Ian to keep fucking him. It was like he had just discovered himself; Just discovered his true identity, but he was still in the dark, still in the fucking goddamn closet.

JOINT P.O.V

The street smelled of mold and stale cigarettes despite all the food Mickey was holding that he had just bought like actually bought with legal money he had actually worked for. Once he reached his house he heard familiar voices from the other side of the door as he trumped up the worn-out steps.

"Me because it's the object of the preposition." Mandy explained. It was only a small piece of information inside that intelligent brain of hers and Ian knew it. She too smart for her own good just like Lip.

"So it's with Max and me? Sounds weird."

"I'm telling you it's right."

Mickey abruptly burst through the door while they were laughing, holding a box of snacks in his hands with dirt all over his face, pretending like he didn't care that Ian was in his house. "Douche-bags." He burped out.

"Ass-face." Mandy shot back with no enthusiasm what-so-ever.

Fuck, he's adorable. Ian thought about it for a second, just a second. Should he go after him or would that be a bad idea? Would he just tell him to fuck off or would he be okay with it since they've been banging all week? Fuck it.

"Gotta go to the bathroom." The redhead said as he placed his notepad beside him.

"Hold the handle down when you flush."

"Kay." He said with a smirk as he proceeded to approach the far room.

"Hey!" Mandy shouted, startling Ian at the door, "You want a pizza bagel?"

"Sure," Ian answered, not really caring about food at that moment. He burst into the older man's room and found him standing beside his bed, lighter in hand, looking at him like he was a complete stranger.

"The fuck do you want?" He yapped as he lit up a cigarette between his plump lips.

"Nothing, never mind."

"Good, get the fuck out."

"The fuc- Why are you such an ass?"

After hearing those word out loud he couldn't hide the complacent, self-satisfied smirk from forming. Exactly what he was aiming for. "What do you want for fuck's sake?"

"Bathroom."

"Bathrooms over there." Mickey pointed out as he nodded towards the other room.

Ian practically ran into the bathroom, confused and red-faced with sweaty, shaking hands and a racing heart. What's wrong with him? Jesus. They've fucked before, countless times actually and he's the one that's too scared to ask for it first. He was supposed to be strong, confident and daring like their first interaction but now he's coming off as a nervous pussy. What could he do anyway? It's not like he can just order him to strip and bend over on demand, he'd get clocked in the head. It needs to be Mickey's idea.

He turned the faucet on and splashed cold water on his face to make it seem like he was actually doing something in there instead of fucking around, then nervously walked out of the room trying to seem relaxed and sanguine.

"Wait," Mickey said just as Ian reached the door. There was a slight tremble in his voice that very easily could be taken as nervousness.

He sat on the edge of his bed smoking away while Ian retreated his hand from the doorknob and stood there awkwardly watching Mickey's every move. What does he want? Unless... Fuck, he's not being a dick anymore. Look bold, look confident... look like you don't give a shit. It wasn't helping, he was as nervous as a randy adolescent on a hot date but yet he looked the complete opposite. Was he going to hurt him or fuck him?

He inhaled a slow lengthy drag and let it sit in his lungs for a few seconds before blowing it out through his nose, all while darting his eyes to and from Ian's hungry ones. He rubbed his eyes with the palms of his hands before stubbing out his cigarette in the ashtray beside him then started approaching the libidinous redhead.

Mickey ripped off Ian's shirt like an orange peel, fast and aggressive, as Ian did the same to him, both aching to touch one another again. Seconds later they were completely de-clothed on the bed, Mickey in doggy position with his legs wide open ready and waiting, while Ian traced lightly over every inch of skin on his back, heightening every nerve and muscle in his body, teasing him, driving bloody insane. He just wanted to fuck already, his cock was fucking rock hard to the point that it was dribbling pre-cum already and they hadn't even gotten started.

 

Twenty long minutes later Ian came waltzing out Mickey's room with the biggest, stupidest grin plastered all over his face and messy, 'just fucked' hair. "Took you long enough," Mandy stated while shoving her face with Pizza bagels and eyes drawn to the video game she was completely invested in.

"Yeah," Ian breathed while grabbing another controller, "your dad was in there forever." Not even two seconds later and Mickey followed right behind him acting like they hadn't just banged each other's brains out.

"Shove over faggots," Mickey demanded with no emotion what-so-ever. He smiled watching them both comply then sat a little too close to Ian so their shoulders were bumping together. He then slammed his grimy feet on the coffee table while Ian smiled like an idiot hopelessly in love, then snatched the controller out of the younger man's hands. "Watch and learn." He muttered eye's focused on the screen as he began to kick his sister's ass.

* * *

The next day Mickey found himself in the principals' office answering questions about his future that he's probably never going to have and where he see's himself in five years. Another one of those goodie two shoes that try to turn every Southie into smart college bitches. Pathetic. He was started to get agitated thinking about where he might be, what he might do when he damn well knew he was going fucking nowhere. He isn't the intelligent sibling - Mandy is and she always has been even from an early age.

Once he escaped the never-ending torturing questions that went on for-fucking-ever, Mickey stormed down the hallway in full rage looking for someone to take his anger out on. It was mostly teenage women which of course was no exception. He wasn't about to become his father by being a woman basher - no fucking way. He turned a corner and found a bunch of jocks further down the hall completely invested in whatever the hell it was on their phones. Probably some poor girls nude photos. Before he could approach them he spotted his sister in the far left corner chatting away with a flirty Lip while Ian was standing awkwardly close beside her - not even paying attention to the conversation.

In a split second, the whole scene changed into a much more brutal and violent one. Ian had the tallest boy pinned by the neck against the lockers, face pressed roughly into the metal while his sharp nails ripped into his skin leaving him powerless and gasping for air.

_The fuck?_  Mickey thought as he watched the scene play out.

"WHAT THE FUCK?!" His mates shrieked, frightened and looking around wildly.

Lip - despite being confused - instantly jumped in between Ian and the two remaining boys, holding them all back in case they decided to save their buddy by jumping his ginger ass. "Ian! What are you doing?!" Mandy yelled in alarm.

Ian's vein in his neck was sticking out like a sore thumb as he squeezed harder and harder around his neck. He spat out curse words into the lockers while he kept fighting against Ian but it was almost impossible. "Give me your FUCKING PHONE!" Ian demanded in a booming hoarse voice.

"The f-fuc for?" He blubbered.

"Why the fuck does he have to listen to you, you fucking ranga?" Guy number two yapped from behind Lip.

"Yeah, just because you think you're so big and mighty?" Guy number three joined in. "Pfft, fuck off."

"I said handover your fucking phone or I'll start ripping off your skin!" Ian shouted, piercing his nails in even further.

He shifted a tad and handed Ian his phone with shaky hands. "Fuckin happy now?"

Ian released him from his grip and started going through his phone. "How many people did you send these to?!"

"Send what? What are you talking about?"

"Don't fucking play dumb with me. The texts! Who did you send them to?"

"No one." He answered as he rubbed the back of his stinging neck.

"Bullshit."

"I mean it! I just showed them to my mates. Why do you even care? You bangin her too? Mmm?" He grinned wickedly.

_What the fu_ _ck are they talking about?_  Mickey wondered from afar.

Ian furiously shoved him back against the lockers then watched him pounce off it and charge at him like a grizzly bear.

_No fuckin way!_

Mickey ran towards the scene at full speed and ripped victim number one away before he could get his grubby hands all over Ian.

"Mickey?" Ian and Mandy gasped together, shocked.

The redhead then noticed the other two boys start to fight against Lip to help their friend so he dashed forward and helped his brother out while Mickey beat the living shit out of the boy he grabbed. He didn't even know why he was doing it, or why Ian started shit with him in the first place but he was finishing the fight for him anyway.

The teachers weren't anywhere to be seen because it was a lunch break and they were all in the teachers' lounge and not many students witnessed the fight, although the people who did would never lag - therefore they all didn't get into any trouble. They all ditched the rest of the day as they were way too hyped and angry to focus on chemistry or algebra. Lip split and walked home acting like nothing had happened, Ian took off in a hurry to calm himself down because he was furious and out of his mind while Mickey and Mandy went to their 'spot' under the L. Along the way he had asked her what that whole thing was all about. Turns out that guy he'd beaten to a pulp was some random she almost hooked up with, in a bathroom stool a couple days ago and he was going around showing people their intimate, sexual text messages to embarrass her. Now, he was fucking glad he'd done something about it.

While they sat in silence getting impossibly high as usual, a great solution to his nagging problem suddenly popped into Mickey's hazy head. Because Ian is so obviously openly gay, he needed to be extra careful, so of course, he needed an excuse to be around him. He already knew that all his previous ideas aren't that believable so maybe this one could work. Maybe if they became a united team to harass, threaten and hurt people around the school it wouldn't raise any eyebrows. He was really just making up excuses to spend more time with Ian, inside and outside of school - Although it might still raise suspicion if they spend a lot of time together.

* * *

He walked through the front door hours later and instantly felt the rush of family run through him. He missed feeling connected to all these idiots the past couple weeks, it was like he had distanced himself from everyone he cared about - which he had. Debbie and Carl were at each other's throats, as usual, Lip was now smoking cigarette's on the couch as he read a big thick book about engineering, and Fiona was in the kitchen cooking up dinner like clockwork. It was like she had a domestic routine, wake everyone up, breakfast, rush everyone to school, work to put food on the table, listen about their lives, comfort them, feed them, love them and through all that she wouldn't have one thought about herself all day. Even if she didn't birth them, she was still their mother. She earned that right and Ian knew it; He should never have downgraded her.

He strolled through the lounge room anxiously as he made sure there was no blood on his knuckles or fingernails. He told the kids to cut the shit along the way, then stood next to the fridge and watched Fiona work the kitchen like a natural. He tossed his back-back off to the side on top of Frank that was passed out in the corner, then immediately started helping his older sister in the corner. She stared at him for a while, confused about his sudden change in attitude, then shook it off and waited for Ian to start talking.

While he stirred a pot of pasta sauce he got up the courage to finally apologize, "I'm sorry Fi."

"What for?" She tested, getting ready to dump a shit storm on him.

"Getting into trouble at school, and treating you like shit."

"That all?"

"And for, ah, storming around the house like a crazy person, and for... saying you're nothing to me. You didn't deserve that. You're like a mother to me, you have been since I was a kid."

"What's going on with you and that boyfriend?" She quizzed, fishing for answers to explain why he was suddenly all sentimental.

"Uhm, he isn't my boyfriend."

"Okay, what's going on with you two?"

"We're... having fun I guess," Ian answered the best he could. What is going on between us?

"So, is that why you're apologizing to me?"

"What?"

"You two are 'having fun' right now so everything is straightened out huh? What happens when you two have a fight or break up, what happens then? Are you going to lash out like that again?"

"No-"

"Why is there blood on your nails?"

"What?"

"Did you get into another fight?!" Fiona interjected, aiming to get everything off her chest before Ian had a chance to talk. 

"Fi-"

"Stop. Lip had blood on his shirt earlier. Did you two hurt each other or something? You two fighting?"

"No, we're not. It was someone at school, I'm sorry."

"It isn't fair on the people at your school, on the kids, or me Ian. Carl's fuckin terrified that you're sick like Monica, do you know what that does to a kid? He was already scared that one of us will become her, so is Debbie!"

"I'm sorry. It won't happen again, I promise." Ian sincerely apologized while he kept stirring the goddamn pot. He faintly heard Lip in the other room pack all his books up and order the kids upstairs to give them privacy (or in case it turned into a massive, screaming fight pit).

"Yeah, you better promise. I may not be your mother Ian, but if you want to continue living under my roof than you better start treating us all with respect you little shit. I don't care that you're trying to get in that guy's pants by becoming a bully, I just care that you don't become a totally different person, okay?"

"Okay..."

"Alright, so we're clear? Don't get suspended again, don't hurt people that don't deserve it, and don't scare the shit out of the kids."

"Yeah, we're clear. I'm really sorry Fi."

"I know." She said softly as the anger rid her body for good. "What's he like anyway?"

"Uhm... rude and stubborn but sexy as hell."

* * *

Ian was in the back of the Kash & Grab the next morning, picking up grocery packages from the food truck with Kash's other employee, Damien. He didn't talk much but neither did Ian so it worked out perfectly well. He was, in fact, a hard worker just like Ian and tried tacking on as many shifts as he could - like every other Southie around the neighborhood. He was a blonde teenager with a feminine face, who often stole sprinkled donuts and ham sandwiches and ate them with Ian when Kash and Linda were AWOL. The perfect work friendship.

As he strolled back into the store carrying a shit load of fruit, he noticed Kash and his wife standing next to the counter, back to him, chatting away with someone he couldn't see from the angle he was at. Not that he was about to order his boss around any time soon but he should really be behind the counter working instead of socializing, but... whatever.

"Why should we hire you? So you can pocket all our supplies? Get lost." Linda snapped in an arrogant, bitchy tone.

_Whoa! Who is she talking to?_

"Linda! Calm down, hear him out."

"Why? Because you're terrified of his father? Man the hell up Kash! This teenage boy constantly steals our food, breaks in when we're closed and smacks you around like you're the freaking kid. So no, he's not getting a job!"

"HEY! He said he's sorry!" A soft, angel-like voice spoke.

Wait, Mandy?

He automatically stopped restocking the gourds to turn around and confirm it was who he thought it was. He was right, of course. His best friend was standing there looking incredibly gorgeous as usual, as her red and blonde streaks flowed beautifully with her natural hair on her shoulders. It wasn't just Mandy though, Mickey was there too, standing awkwardly, with his hands lost in the pockets of his jeans, like he would rather be literally anywhere else in the world. Nothing new.

"Did he? Look I'm sorry, I'm am, but not employing a criminal in my store. It's just not happening. No."

In order to make Mickey step up and defend himself Mandy stomped on his foot making him growl at her and lean against the counter for support.  _Fuckin bitch._  Even though it hurt like a mother fucker he got the message his bitch sister was trying to send.

"Ah, I won't touch the cheddar cheese?" He chuckled, an attempted joke but not one person laughed, in fact, Linda looked furious. "Mkay, ah I can be your security. The Milkovich's are feared around here so if you have one working for you, you won't get any fuckers trying to rob you."

"You're the only on robbing the place!"

"That's not true." Kash corrected.

"Just give him a fucking chance," Mandy demanded, losing all patience. "Even if he didn't rob you a couple of times you still wouldn't hire him would you? You think you're better than us Southsiders right? You look down on us-"

"Mandy!" Ian abruptly interrupted before it got way out of hand. "Look, Linda, he won't start any shi- I mean trouble in your store. Damien and I will watch him until you can trust him."

"No."

"When can you start?" Kash asked, ignoring Linda's bold refusal.

"Kash!"

"This is just as much my store as it is yours Linda, and we need security. So, when can you start?"

"He can start now," Mandy answered for him.

"Okay. There's a jacket in the back, get dressed and ah... wash your face. You look like you just crawled out of a sewer."

He rolled his eyes, annoyed, then took off towards the back of the store. He couldn't believe he actually allowed Mandy to convince him to go down there let alone get an actual, legitimate job.

"We are going to talk about this when we get home, you here me Kash?" Linda whispered in an extremely pissed off tone.

"Okay?"

She left immediately, slamming the store door shut behind her, after snatching her car keys from her husband like that controlling, nasty person that no one liked to associate with. Ian often wondered what his boss was even doing with that woman. It's like he didn't care that he doesn't have any freedom but that's not his problem. If he liked being controlled and bossed around then that's fine. Whatever.

Mickey strolled back in the front of the room wearing the navy blue security jacket Kash had forgotten about. It hugged his body perfectly like it was made for him, although the sleeves were ripped at the shoulders like he had literally torn them off himself. Looked good though, possibly even better. His skin was squeaky clean, so much so you could actually see his face and it was fucking flawless. Ian could have sworn his heart literally skipped a beat once he really saw the gorgeous brunette's face after all those years of appearing downright filthy.

"Damien you're off in an hour so keep restocking the groceries. Ian, you're behind the counter until I get back, and ah Mickey... just make yourself useful."

"Wait, where are you going?"

"My son's soccer game. Could be awhile." He explained to Ian as he started leaning in closer. "Keep an eye on that one."

"Sure." Ian hummed while his mouth curved into an ironic smile. He found it somewhat amusing that literally everyone who didn't know the Milkovich's thought they were dangerous, hateful criminals when they really weren't; it's all an act, well, besides one of them. Kash left promptly so he didn't miss his kids game, leaving a bunch of teenagers in his store most that he was employing.

"So," Mandy practically sang as she leaned against the counter, "wanna come over after work? Promise I won't kick your ass at Call of Duty again."

"Ha-ha, real funny," Ian said full knowing it was Mickey who kicked both their asses. "Yeah, I'll come over."

"Good. Bring beer, I've got the good stuff."

"T-yeah, my fuckin stash." Mickey interrupted from over at the front door.

"Actually it's Iggy's weed dip-shit. You're too lazy to actually get out of the bed you love so much and get it yourself."

_He won't leave his bed?_

"Who do you think gave him the money and told him where my dealer would be, huh?"

"Whatever." Mandy dismissed, not really in the mood for arguing after the showdown with Linda. "Text me when you get off Ian."

He nodded and threw her a pack of gum before she left, hoping Linda didn't see on the camera's she had installed a few weeks back for no apparent reason. The only threat at the time was Mickey but that wasn't a strong enough reason to spend $3000 on camera's that the brunette didn't give a flying fuck about. At the time he'd still rob the store without a second thought, but whatever floats her boat.

The next hour went by like the slowest snail in the fucking world attempting to win a race. It was ferociously boring and wearing to the point that Ian almost fell asleep on the clock. The only thing keeping him conscious is the delicious brunette strolling around the store trying his hardest to keep his eyes off him. It was amusing. The gorgeous ginger couldn't help but study him from head to toe every chance he got. Somehow he looked nicer without all the filth smudged all over his skin but yet he still looked frightening. His baggy jeans fit him like a glove, sitting leisurely on him showing off that perfect round ass Ian loved so much, and fuck you could explode in your pants just looking at that ass. He couldn't tear his eyes away from it no matter how hard he tried.

Mickey followed people around the store like a crazy person eyeballing every move they made but still glancing at Ian every once in a while. He looked fucking mouth-watering even when he was chewing on his juicy apple from behind the desk. His t-shirt hugged his body exquisitely, outlining every muscle in his biceps making him look impeccably tough and masculine but overall fucking sexy.

Damien stuck around for two long hours instead of one like instructed which irritated the living hell out of Ian. All wanted was to lock down the store, take Mickey to the back room, strip him naked and turn him the fuck out but Damien was just being a nuisance by sticking around and he didn't even know it. Once he did finally leave though after eating lunch in silence with Ian, the redhead didn't have the courage to start something after being shut down several times, so instead he waited and waited for Mickey to come onto him like he usually does. Eventually, after another twenty minutes and countless people coming in the store to window shop, he started up a conversation which they never have.

"How did she convince you?"

"Fuck you mumbling about over there?" Mickey somewhat flirted from behind the fruit.

"The job. How did she convince you?"

"Why do you give a shit?"

"Curious. Thought you were anti-job, anti-school,.. anti-gay..."

"Fuck off!" The older man commanded in a rough, throaty voice as he started approaching him. "Since when do we even talk?"

"You're right, we don't."

He leaned against the food display, legs slightly crossed, magazine in hand making it look like Ian's presence wasn't affecting him at all but it was, fuckkk it was. Just being in the same room as him was sending of signals all over his body causing his semi-hard cock to twitch in his pants. What the fuck? As he tried shaking off all the naughty thoughts running through his head to rid himself of his hard-on he had at the moment, he noticed beaming green eyes staring into him like a hawk.

"The fuck you staring at?"

"Nothing," Ian answered quickly as his cheeks brightened a rosy red.  _Fuck, don't blush._

Jesus, why can't he think straight? It's like whenever Mickey speaks to him, which is rare, his mind goes absolutely spastic and his heart starts racing like a race car. Right now all he can think about is seeing that orgasmic, seductive face plastered all over him in the back room, with his pants to his ankles while he took him in his mouth again - but how can he do that without Mickey suggesting it first?

"What are you thinking about?"

"What's with all the talking?"

"Why don't you answer my question?"

"Why do you care?"

Nope, bad strategy.

"Fuck sake," Ian mumbled under his breath, still loud enough that Mickey could hear.

He grabbed the newer magazine out of the redhead's hands, tossed the old one at him then started pretending he was browsing. "Mandy does my bullshit school work, I stay out of trouble and get fucking employed." Mickey finally answered one of his earlier questions.

"You don't stay out of trouble though." Ian pointed out.

"She doesn't know that, does she?" He smirked as Ian grinned back.

"That's only one of them."

"That's all you're gonna fuckin get."

A couple minutes later a few suspicious kids walked into the store, hands buried in their pockets, while they hid their faces away from Mickey and Ian. They started pocketing skittles, chocolates and all sorts of lollies right in front of their faces like they weren't there or didn't have eyes. 

With an emphasized sigh he put an end to it. "You two can put that back or I can crack your skulls on the pavement." Mickey threatened like it rolled off the tongue.

They scrambled like mice with their heads cut off which made Mickey grin like a moron. He loves the power he has over people. He might not ever be able to give that up, probably why he was so pissed off when Ian came after his title, little shit. Oh, that reminded him.

"Billy Marshall," Mickey muttered randomly.

"What?"

"It's the guy we're gonna take care of tomorrow."

"What?"

"You fuckin heard me."

"Thought you didn't want me playing the bad guy," Ian smirked, cocking his head to the side with a sly smile.

"Since when does that stop you, asshole?"

"So... what? We start beating people together? Start a club? Should I get Chris down the block to join our two-man operation?" He mocked.

"Want me to break your fucking nose?!" The brunette barked harshly.

"Speaking of fights. Why did you help me yesterday?"

"What are you talking about? I didn't."

"Rightt. Why do  _you_ even want help? Thought you 'handled' people on your own."

"Not help fuckhead."

"Then what?"

"You're smart, work it out."

"Humour me."

"Nah, fuck off." Mickey spat, frustrated, as he tossed the magazine back at him. He already knew anyway.

"So we have a reason to be spending time together? So no one gets suspicious?"

Mickey shrugged his shoulders and gazed at the floor in thought as he leaned against the warm food display, arms crossed over his stomach and teeth biting his plump lip. All of a sudden he noticed his hands get sweaty and felt a weird tightness in his stomach. He was nervous.

"Yeah, works for me." Ian smiled while playing with a key ring, "As long as I get you."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for taking your time and reading and also for being patient with me. Stay tuned for the next chapter lovelies. It's gonna be a big one. :)


	6. All smiles

Ian and Mickey had been reigning over the high school for the past month like menacing teenage thug's, out to get anyone that even looked at them wrong. They were fucking terrifying together. The beautiful and the damned breaking bones left, right and center; It was the perfect cover. Work together, rule together, fuck together. Well, no one knew they were fucking and that was the best part.

Ian was radiant, happy and full of energy, but at the same time miserable and regretful. He was delighted that Mickey was (well sort of) coming to terms with who he is and becoming more open with his sexuality, but he didn't necessarily like the fact that in order to continue banging, he had to hurt innocent people around the school, whether they ripped Mickey off or not. It was his own fault though; he dug his own grave. He should have gone with another tactic to get Mickey's attention other than taking over his rep as the 'school bully'. He regretted that decision but he doesn't regret Mickey... if that makes any sense.

He just wished he went with something other than that because hurting people wasn't his thing at all. He also knew that if he came clean and told Mickey he really isn't the uncontrollable oppressor he thinks he is, he might think he's a crazy, obsessive fag - which wouldn't be good for him at all. 

Mickey, on the other hand, felt top of the world, carefree, and joyous, something he hadn't felt in, well, ever. He still has his power and authority over the shit school, Mandy was off his back and still doing his school work for him, getting smarter and smarter every day, Terry had been AWOL for countless months, thank god, and he was finally getting the thing he was so terrified of doing all these years.

He had surprisingly managed to keep his job at the Kash & Grab which he was oddly proud of, but he ultimately knew Ian had secretly spoken to Linda and worked out some kind of arrangement to keep his ass employed. For the last few months, he had half-assed watched people scan the isles, making sure they weren't pocketing anything but what he was really watching most of the time was Ian. He liked the way his eyebrows furrowed when he stumbled upon something interesting in his catalog or when that cute, smug smile appeared when he turned the speakers off of Linda's irritating voice and stole her food. Ian was the reason he was staying, well, and because his Mandy was completing all his senior homework for him. Life was somewhat okay... for now.

The four of them were now all sitting around a bench at the school in the courtyard on their lunch break, talking about pathetic shit Mickey couldn't care less about. Ian, Lip, and Mandy were engaging in conversation while eating fucking apples of all things, and Mickey was just sitting there awkwardly on the edge of the chair, looking around the place like he'd rather not be there or be around them. They're lucky he's even in close proximity to those fucking nerds.

"What's going on with you?" Mandy asked after indolently throwing a screwed up paper ball at his face and getting an angry scowl in return.

"Nothin."

She shrugged it off then resumed flirting with Lip like  _normal_  teenagers, while Ian nudged his side - after he saw that no one was watching - to catch his attention, which instantly annoyed him, "You sure you're okay? What's up?"  

"Fuck off ginger." He snapped bitterly, ignoring the fact that he was even sitting next to the redhead or even in the same vicinity as him. It's bad enough that he even considered working AND ruling with him but now he's allowing Ian to sit right next to him. The younger man even had the balls to sit as close to him as possible, like too close to be 'just acquaintances', and what's worse about the situation is, Mickey didn't exactly mind... He just put on a tough act pretending he doesn't care about anyone and that he doesn't give a shit about the gorgeous man beside him when really he kind of did, just a little.

"Sorry," Ian sincerely apologized, still trying to work out what and what not to say around the guy. It was like he was walking on broken eggshells while someone threw mood swings at him, left, right and center. And right when he started engaging in conversation again - getting back to his life by being normal and sociable - Mickey created a disturbing uproar, shocking Ian yet again, and turning every head in the school his way.

"Ay, the fuck you lookin at?!" Mickey yelled out of nowhere at a buff guy that was staring at him in a weird, creepy way from across the courtyard.

He lurched forward, fuming, and started prowling his way over to the oddly neutral guy still staring at him. Ian staggered after him instantly, panicking, wanting desperately to stop this whole thing before it got any worse. He didn't want to fight anymore, he didn't want Mickey to fight anymore. He wanted to have a happy life with Mickey instead off, well, this...

"Mickey! Mickey, wait." He called out, directly behind him before he firmly grasped his arm and spun him around, "Fucking wait!"

"What for?!"

"Just stop, okay. Stop hurting people." He whispered so no one would overhear and think he's weak.

"Why the fuck do you care? Get the fuck off me!"

"Why do you need to hurt people Mick?"

"Why do you? Huh? You're not exactly innocent in all this Mr 'as long as I get you' guy. Fuckin waltz in here acting all high and mighty. Fuck off. You bashed just as many people as I did so GET YOUR FUCKING HAND OFF ME!"

Ian released him instantly, his face brooding and doleful, already regretting what he was about to do.

"Oi, big shot! We doin this or not?" The unknown asshole spat while approaching them with a confident strut. "Gonna prove to these losers how weak you really are!"

"I'm doing this with or without you." Mickey said darkly with approximately zero compassion or remorse what-so-ever, "You in or are you gonna sit out like a little bitch?"

He sighed and rubbed his face in frustration, hoping like hell that this would be over quicker than he thought. "Yeah... fine." He caved.

* * *

After the brutal fight, Ian and Mickey ditched their last classes all bloody and hyped up, probably to jump each other's bones, while Lip and Mandy stayed behind to make sure no one snitched on their reckless siblings. Fortunately, everyone was shit scared of the two men so they didn't dare rat them out.

They were now in the workshop because they both coincidentally had private subjects for the rest of the school day, working on a robotic laser thing that Lip was practically obsessed with. He wanted to perfect his work so he could enter all these different robot competitions without worry that he'd lose, to win money for his family so Fiona didn't have to work her ass off all the damn time. Ian worked almost as much but his wage only heaps to a certain extent and Jimmy-Steve is constantly being a little bitch about shitty jigs so he felt obligated to help out. With his criminal record and sarcastic attitude no one would even consider hiring him so he was left with shit like this: entering competitions, stealing, scamming, anything he could get away with. He didn't mind though, he loves engineering. It's his true passion.

It would be a lie to say Mandy was purely there just for the view, but she was, in fact, interested in engineering and the whole structuring something together type of thing. She wouldn't make a whole career out of it like Lip might one day, but in her opinion, it is quite fascinating to watch. She could see where things go and the little mistakes he had made way before Lip did, and she could work out what wires attach to what things without him explaining anything - which made her feel good about herself.

She had held back for as long as she could but when Lip placed a piece of carved metal in the wrong spot and attached wires to it, she just had to help out. "You're doing it wrong."

[Chuckles] "No I'm not." He snapped back in a confused but yet surprised tone.

"Yes, you are. Move, I'll do it."

"What? You don't know anything about robotics."

"And you would know that how? You don't know the first thing about me."

He stared at her glowering expression for a second before deciding that it's probably best to stand back before she starts getting really scary. "Fine."

She improved a few things here and there so it would  _actually_  work and hold things up properly but yet still making it look sick as fuck! She snatched the remote from his hands with a satisfied smirk and pressed a button so the lights lit up and the laser turned on. Lip was absolutely quizzical standing there with his arms crossed over his chest and his mouth hanging open in shock. It was a complete surprise, not that he thought she wasn't intelligent or anything but most people just don't care for this type of stuff. He now felt like an absolute dick for doubting her.

"Ahm, I take it back." He marveled, "But it would have worked fine the way I had it."

"T'yeah, right. Where'd you get the high-tech laser from?"

"Ah, Ian and I stole it."

"Oh yeah? From where?"

"Some fucking university. Had the campus cops chasing after us for miles." He explained, watching as Mandy shaped the slab of metal on the machine like a fucking pro.

"Yeah, I bet. You two are dumb as fuck."

Sometimes he could just stand there and stare. Stare at her for what seemed like an eternity because no amount of time could ever comprehend the beauty she had. It was like walking into a field, expecting to find weeds and dead grass but instead discovering an immense amount of beautiful, blooming bell-flowers in broad daylight with the sunlight reflecting elegantly off of all the many wonderful colors. She's just so epically stunning; especially when she's smiling.

"So, how's Karen?" Asked Mandy, breaking him out of his thoughts and admiration.

"I don't know. How's that fuckin' jock?"

"I wouldn't know..."

"What do you mean? Wait. Am I the only guy you're screwing?"

"Don't flatter yourself." She muttered, cheeks blushing a rosy red, trying not to look up at him, in worry that he'd notice.

"No. Serious. Am I?"

"I don't have a lot of time on my hands so... kind of. Yeah."

"Mhm," He grinned, liking the fact that the gorgeous woman in front of him only has eyes for him.

"Mr. Gallagher," Someone wearing a navy-blue suit and an ugly ass tie boomed from the door, "What the hell is that?"

"This? This is a helium-neon laser. You know I'm gonna perform lasix on near-sighted neighborhood kids. Fifty bucks a pop."

"O-kay then. What are you both doing this summer?"

"Why? Interested?" Mandy casually joked, quirking an eyebrow.

"No. You're my student."

She turned the machine off and turned towards him, leaning on the workbench with Lip grinning amusingly at her provocativeness - whether she was joking around or not. "So?"

He casually ignored that last comment and continued, "You're both going to pad out your resume for your college apps this summer."

"Pfft." She scoffed thinking he was joking but from the serious look on his face, she obviously thought wrong while Lip laughed in amusement and shook his head.

"What's so funny?" He questioned addressing Lip.

"It's just um, why does everyone think I'm going to college?"

He immediately smacked him over the head with a book, "Dummy! You are going to college and you're gonna graduate. You both are. Just pad out your resume's."

"Why the fuck would I do that?" Mandy asked, confused, "I don't graduate for another two years."

"Because you're a poor kid from the South side, and you got a 4.7"

"So?"

"Wait," Lip interrupted, "She got a 4.7? As in GPA?"

"Correct."

"Holy shit!" The young man gasped, completely baffled, "What did I get?"

"Ah, 4.6 I believe. You both need to seriously start thinking of college."

"Yeah, that's not happening," Mandy replied back quicker than ever, adamant that she wasn't going to some fucking rich school for pussies and petty people. It's all a massive fucking scam anyway.

"Why's that?"

"Because I don't do the whole... college thing. I ain't no college bitch."

"That what your brother taught you?" He questioned, giving her a judgey kind of look and she glared in return, "Look, I don't give a shit if you guys spend your days getting trashed at some shitty bar, or snorting coke in bathroom stalls. You will pad out your resume's and you will graduate, get your masters and your decorate or whatever the fuck and you'll make a boatload of fucking money!"

"Doing what huh? Become a fucking top notch surgeon, fuckin' scientist?"

"Yeah, what she said." Lip jumped in, "College is nothing but a fucking scam."

"That's your opinion, but you've never been there have you? I don't give a shit what you two pursuit. Teach brain damaged kids how to make plastic explosives... or ah the blind how to blow glass." The man said ironically, "You go to college to figure this shit out. Mandy, you're all over the place. You have so much knowledge but you don't exactly know what path to pursue, and that's okay because you have your whole life to figure that out. Lip, it's clear as fucking day what you are, and you're incredibly good at it. Just cut the bullshit and start proving to people you aren't just some poor, good for nothing Southie."

"Whatever." Sighed Lip in a rude manner, most likely ignoring every word the kind man had just said. He had his eyes down-casted, staring at the bench in thought, "So, why does Mandy have to apply? She's not graduating for another two years."

He turned back towards Mandy who was very clearly not interested in the whole subject. "How would you like to skip two grades and go straight to college?"

"Wait... wait what?" Gasped the brunette after snapping her head up in surprise and confusion.

"You may think you're not that smart but you are, you really are and it's not because your older brother makes you complete his homework all the damn time." He shot her a yeah-i-know-what's-been-going-on-bitch kind of look, and she chuckled in response but let him continue on, "You have a unique and brilliant mind, Mandy. The both of you do. In my forty years of teaching, I have never met two extremely intelligent people in the same year. It's truly amazing."

"There's no way I'm skipping grades. I'm not going to be a sixteen-year-old college student."

"Well, you won't be if you don't get your act together and start your resume. I'm going to schedule an appointment with your father to make sure it's okay that you finish off the year as year twelve."

"NO!" She instantly freaked, "Uh, you can't..."

"Why not?"

"Because he's... out of town."

"Okay, well I need his signature on a few things so I'll give you the forms to pass on to him. Can I trust you with them?"

"Yeah, whatever."

"Okay good." He rummaged through his leather folder until he found the papers,"Here you go. And you Lip, better start working harder. Get off your ass and do something with your life. I'll write letters of recommendation for the both of you. You guys just need to believe in yourself."

The dumb-ass teacher left with a smile, hoping they'd realize their potential but ultimately knowing that they both won't actually listen to him and everything he had just said went in through one ear and out the other. Lip scoffed then walked over to take over the machine from Mandy.

"What a load of bullshit."

"I know right."

She hopped up onto the bench, legs crossed, twirling a strand of hair between her fingers while Lip started wielding the slab of metal, paying close attention to the details in the sharp edges. "So um, exactly how smart are you?" He smirked, looking at her from the corner of his eye.

"Could ask you the same question."

"Hm, not as smart as you, that's for sure."

"T'yeah right." Chuckled Mandy, not completely realizing how bright she really is.

"Wanna help me with this, fuckin future president?"

* * *

The next two days didn't go by as pleasantly as one would have thought. The school didn't discover the most recent events that had happened, but ten-year-old Carl did and was now blackmailing Ian into being his slave till the end of time. What's worse was they were short of the electric bill that month which meant they were all freezing their asses off all day long, and above all that, something was up with Mickey.

He'd always been a pain in the ass but lately he's been a lot more irritable and snappy than usual and every time Ian asked what was wrong he yelled directly in his face then distracted him with sex - but if it was Ian that suggested sex first then he'd pretend they don't know each other and throw him the fuck out. It was all confusing really.

To avoid sitting in the cold and Carl's persistent requests, he spent Friday night at Mandy's house, talking, studying, drinking, smoking. You know how it goes. By the end of the night, they both had passed out on the couch, completely trashed off beer. Not gonna lie, he was secretly hoping Mickey would bust in and get pissed with them but he never did which somewhat saddened him. Mandy's company was enough anyway.

"Drank all Mick's beers last night. Wanna drink Terry's?" Mandy called out from the kitchen as Ian sat glumly on the living room couch.

"Noo." He groaned sickly, feeling his stomach instantly turn in revulsion. Hangovers aren't his strong suit. "You're still going? Thought we had enough last night."

"Yeah... well, I slept which is what you should've been doing."

"What? I did sleep." He lied to cover up the real reason he was in and out of sleep. He was trying to stay conscious and wait for Mickey to return home but all the alcohol he had consumed that night was keeping him from doing that.

"Sure you did. What were you up all night for?" She queried after slumping down next to him and offering him a cold beer.

If the brunette found out that he blabbed about their secret relationship, he'd send him to an early grave, literally, so he changed the subject to avoid lying even more than he already had. "Won't he get mad?"

"Who, Terry? I don't give a shit. Not like he's gonna drink them."

"Hmm. Where is he?"

"Off his face somewhere. Who knows."

"Yeah, same with Frank. Fuckin piece of shit. This happen often?"

"Yeah, you know this." Mumbled Mandy with a mouthful of bitter alcohol, "Usually disappears for a few months then comes back out of nowhere and starts beating the shit out of us. Mainly Mick though because he fights back."

"Jesus. Sorry, he's like that." He offered a sad smile then grabbed her free hand and entwined their fingers together, showing her how sorry he is for the way her dad is. He thought Frank was a horrible parent but Terry,... he's something else. Something other than human.

She smiled for a brief moment until it disappeared into nothingness once she realized that Ian felt sorry for her. She doesn't need anyone's pity. "Yeah..." She spoke in a silent whisper, her face brooding and absent. "Speaking of my brother, how is it working with him?"

"What do you mean?"

"Is he listening to your boss or sitting around on his ass doing fuck all?"

"Ah, he's... helping..."  _Not so much with store shit though,_ Ian thought.

"Yeah, right." She giggled in dubiety, "So are you guys like,... friends now or something?"

"Ah, I don't know. Why?"  _Is she getting suspicious? Should I be worried?_

She turned to her side, laid back and lifted her legs up onto Ian's lap who welcomed her without shoving her off like her brother would. "You're working with him and then all of a sudden you two are bashing people at school. What you trynna do, replace me?"

"Please, you're irreplaceable."

"You got that right."

The redhead placed his beer on the coffee table, unopened, then tossed a console controller at his best friend. "Wanna play?"

"Any chance to beat your ass? Sure."

* * *

"Lip, where's our brother?" Fiona asked while unpacking what little groceries she'd just bought, "He wasn't here last night and he hasn't been back yet."

"Fuck if I know." Replied the eldest brother before pulling a fresh, cold beer out of the practically empty fridge, "Probably working or at ROTC."

"No. He's avoiding me." Carl carelessly chimed in as he strolled through the kitchen, placing his plate with a half-eaten sandwich on the dirty countertop.

Both Lip and Fiona exchanged puzzled expressions before he replied, leaning against the doorway, his face amused and curious, "Why would he be avoiding you?"

"Because he's my bitch."

"Your bitch, huh?"

"Carl! Language!" Fiona warned in a frustrated tone, sick to death with him swearing his head off all day long.

"Why does Lip get to swear, but I can't?!"

"Because he's older than you."

"But, I'm older than Liam." He whined.

"Just go brush your teeth!"

He floundered up the stairs, creating loud thuds every time his foot hit the wooden steps but yet, as long as they knew he was mad, he didn't care, even when Fiona yelled out his name ordering him to stop the racket.

"Where's Steve?" Asked Lip after he calmed his laughter, "You guys break up or something?"

"No fuckin' idea." She sighed while continuing to place food in cupboards.

"What happened?"

"Ahm, he was involved in some... heavy shit."

"Oh yeah? Like what? He rob a fucking bank or assault an old lady?"

"Grand theft auto." She spat out bluntly.

"You fuckin' serious?" Gasped Lip in shock, bewildered that his big sister had found a bad boy instead of a helpless loser. His phone chimed in his pocket but he didn't seem to notice with the shocking statement.

"Yep. He just didn't listen to me and now he's on the run because Tony is a fucking obsessed psycho."

"Tony?" He laughed, "Jesus. Knew you made a mistake with that one."

"Yeah, you think?"

With a drawn-out sigh she went on to make a simple lunch for their other young siblings, Debbie and Liam, probably to discontinue the conversation she wasn't exactly ready for, at the same time as Lip took a seat on a chair nearest to the back door. His phone continued chiming, a few dozen times, and this time he took notice, curious to see whom it was that was messaging him so damn much.

The next few minutes flew by with Lip and Mandy constantly texting back and forth. He was sitting by himself at the kitchen table, smiling like a hopeless idiot each time she sent a flirty text back. Fiona glanced up from behind the bench a couple times, wondering who it was that was making Lip of all people smile like he was. She'd never seen that kind of smile before.

"Who you texting?"

"What? Ah... Mandy." He simpered with a grin that never faded.

"Mandy?" She snorted, "That Mickey Milkovich's little sister?"

"Yeah."

"Be careful with that one."

He looked up at his sister speeding around the kitchen, face slack, eyebrows furrowed, confused to as why she would say that. "Why? Because she's a Milkovich?"

"No, because she has made her way through most of the guys in the whole fucking school and you already have one of those girls yanking your chain."

"One of those girls?"

"Yeah. Karen. They both have bad reputations."

"Why are the fuck are you judging?" He laughed aggressively, "Aren't you the same as them? I mean, how many people have you screwed? Can you even fucking count? The whole senior grade of 2004, my physics teacher, the cab driver, the social worker, the guy that called you pretty in the KFC drive through..."

"Okay!" She snapped, realizing that she of all people shouldn't be judging, "Point taken. Just  use protection, okay?"

"Yeah, no problem. She's a nice girl Fi."

"Hmm, I'll believe it when I see it."

* * *

"Mandy!" Ian yelled after Mandy died a gruesome death in the video game.

"What?" She mumbled in response, not really caring.

"You're supposed to search the mystery box not fucking freeze and die! Who are you texting?!"

"Well, sorry grumpy. Lip being won't stop texting." She glanced up for a second and faintly noticed Ian roll his eyes. "What's up your ass?"

"Nothing." He sighed, "Just play the game."

"Bullshit. What's wrong?"

"Don't worry about it."

"This about the guy you're seeing?"

"There is no guy." He blankly lied.

"Again, bullshit. What's going on? And if I have to ask again I'll slap it out of you."

"Ugh, fine!" He placed the controller on the coffee table then turned towards her smiling face." It's nothing. It's just, he's so... abusive..." and her smiling, bright face changed instantly to confused, worried then furious.

"Abusive? Towards you?! ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!"

"No Mandy-"

"NO! I'm grabbing my brothers and going to find his sorry ass. What's his fucking name? Where does he live? Does he live around here? Is he working? Where does he work?" She quizzed frantically while pacing and trying to find her flip phone from in between the cushions on the couch.

_Wow. They're both exactly alike._ He thought.

"Where's my phone? Gotta call Ig, and Mick!"

_Shit._

"Mandy! It's not like that."

"Oh yeah? Then tell me what it's like huh? He hurt you? Slap you around like some bitch? He probably brainwashed you into thinking it's okay!"

"HE NEVER HURT ME!" The redhead yelled before he lept up from the couch and grabbed her shoulders to stop her from frantically pacing around the room.

"T'yeah, right."

"Seriously, he hasn't."

"He didn't?"

"No." He answered as he released her and slumped back into his spot with Mandy close beside him, "Well at least not since we've been..."

"Together?"

"We aren't together, we're just... fucking."

"Oh, so like me and Lip?" She assumed with a beautiful, cheery grin.

"I guess."

He turned away from her for a few moments only to locate his cigarette's that were hiding underneath the ugly, wool blanket curled up on the floor. He offered one to Mandy, who willingly accepted, then lit up his own in between his soft lips. It didn't take long after inhaling a few drags for the female brunette to start asking questions that he didn't necessarily want to answer.

"So, how is he abusive if he isn't hurting you?"

"It's just... He's so angry all the time, which I understand, but he won't stop hurting other people because of his anger."

She processed the information while inhaling a huge drag before replying, "Don't you hurt people too? Can't judge a guy for his actions when you do the same."

"Yeah, but I have my reasons."

"And he doesn't? You just said he has a lot of anger so maybe you need to help him let go of that anger."

"How do I do that without pissing him off? He won't even admit he's gay."

"Give him time. He'll come around."

"Yeah..." He sighed, knowing it would be a long ass time before that happened, "I don't know if he will."

"Well if he loves you then he eventually will."

"Whoa, I wouldn't go that far! We've only been screwing around for a month or two."

"And? What's not to love about ya?"

He shook his head, disagreeing with what she had assumed while puffing on the end of his cigarette. "He's just, not that type of guy..."

"Whatever," She exhaled, frustrated with Ian's doubt in himself, "So, you gonna tell me who it is yet?"

*Chuckles* "I can't. Not yet."

"Why not?" She pushed in a whiny voice, desperate to know who it is that has her best friend so whipped.

"It's complicated..." He mumbled with the cancer stick in between his lips, lighting it up for the second time because it had gone out.

"Fine, but I have my suspicions."

"Oh, really?"

"Yep." She smiled playfully.

"Well?"

"Oh no," The brunette giggled, "If you're not gonna tell, I'm not gonna tell."

"Fine. You'll never guess anyway." He smirked, thinking he's clever at hiding his secrets. "Want to play another round?"

Before she could answer, her phone vibrated for the millionth time in her lap, distracting her again."Ahm, I gotta go." She murmured somewhat apologetically.

"Another fuck session with my brother?" The redhead guessed with a roll of the eye.

"Hey, don't judge!" She warned, stubbing out her smoke in the ashtray, "I'll be back in an hour. No one's home and probably won't be back for hours so help yourself with the food n shit."

"Alright. Wait," He called out before she stumbled out the door with one shoe - the other in her hand, "where's your stash?"

"Under my mattress. Don't tell my dumb ass brother." She grinned then left with a skip to her walk, keen to see the boy with the blue eyes and dazzling smile.

* * *

They laid in a heap of heavy breathing and sweat sticking to skin, after the past hour of hot passionate sex. They were on the top bunk of Lip's bedroom, who in fact was laying on his side, gazing at her like she was the perfect angel sent to him from heaven. It was mesmerizing really, but sometimes it got a tad annoying. She knew he didn't really care about her, that she is nothing but an easy lay to him, so the whole staring thing was a little over the top. He didn't have to work for it, at all. She wanted it just as much as he did.

Sweat pooled down her sternum, dripping off the sides of her breasts, while she slowly but surely calmed her aggressive breathing. Lip could quite literally stare at her forever. Stare at her thick beautiful lashes, her glistening skin, her impeccable, untarnished beauty. He hasn't yet realized the huge effect she has on him, but it was quite obvious he adored her. While he admired her elegance, she glanced to her side, offering a small, gorgeous smile at his obviously adorable face, then abruptly shot up in a hurry, looking around for her black snoop dog shirt.

"Ay, where you going?" Asked Lip frantically, his face a confused mess as he grabbed her hand trying to pull her back into bed.

"Ahh," Mandy stuttered, yanking her hand away, "home."

"Already? Stay here for a while."

"What for? We already fucked." The brunette mumbled, puzzled, pulling her t-shirt over her head.

"I don't know. Cuddle maybe?"

"Cuddle?" She mocked, turning around to look him dead in the eye, "You wanna fucking cuddle?"

He didn't know why exactly he had just said that it just... sputtered out his mouth without his consent. Once it did though, he realized he actually did want to spend quality time with her. She's exceedingly intriguing. Although he had never had the desire to spend time with or get to know anyone he'd ever been with before, he had this wild craving to spend every second he could spare with her. It not only came as a shock to Mandy but to him as well.

"Yeah, why not? Isn't that what you women want? Cuddle and do weird romance shit..."

"Who the fuck says I want that?"

"I don't know." He sighed, rubbing his face in frustration, wishing deeply that he'd never said anything. "Forget it."

"Wait, Lip. I'm sorry. It's just,.. we're not together. You... know that right?"

"Yes, I fuckin' know that. Jesus." He retorted, gradually becoming even more irritated with this conversation.

"So, why are you trying to cuddle?"

"Just thought it would be nice. Don't worry about it."

"No, fine." She smiled apologetically, "Let's cuddle."

She laid back down uncomfortably with one arm lazily resting across his stomach and her head on his chest, listening to his slow intakes of breath and beating heart. It was weird really. To be cramped up in this tiny bed, invading one's personal space, practically laying on top of one another without the intention of getting into each other's pants.  _What's the point of this? Oh right, romance. Who the fuck wants romance? Wait, when did this become comfortable?_

His arm was cozily wrapped around her neck, supporting her head on his chest while his other hand traced up and down Mandy's arm, making her shiver and smile. It was clear as day she secretly liked being with him like this because he could feel her heart beating a thousand times faster without being turned on, and that ridiculously stunning smile on her face appeared. The kind of smile that no one, not even herself, could fake.

"Mmm, this is nice." She said sarcastically, trying to be humorous, "Isn't this nice?"

"Look, we could not do this if you don't want to."

"No, no it's okay. Whatever your heart desires, my love."

"Okay, now you're just being cocky." He shifted from underneath her, shoved her off and jumped off the bed, hoping she'd forget the whole situation. God knows why he even tried. The thought of cuddling with any other woman had never crossed his mind, therefore he's beyond confused now.

"Where are you going?"

"Have this robotics thing at three. Gonna prove to north-side rich kids not to fuck with Southies." Answered Lip while pulling his singlet over his head, "Wanna come?"

"What for?" She snorted, watching as he dressed from the bed, admiring his body and the way he moved across the room, "Stand there and eyeball you like you're fucking prince charming?"

"You're unbelievably sardonic, you know that?" He smirked and she smiled back at him, with a hint of glimmer in her eyes, completely unaware that this one man is pulling on her heartstrings like he already knew where to tug. "Come on. Could use your brain."

"Please," She chuckled while dragging herself out of his bed, "You don't need me."

"Yeah, I do. You're smarter than me, brighter than me, and you're feistier than me. You can make them squirm just by looking at them."

"No thanks. Not my thing."

"Oh just like college isn't your thing?" He smirked smugly, ridiculously proud of himself.

"It's not."

"Please. I saw it in your eyes. You want to go to college."

"Maybe," The woman sighed, turning around to face him, "or maybe it's you that wants to go. Not me."

He smiled joyfully mostly at Mandy's sassiness, partly because of her obstinateness. "Stop being stubborn. You're coming."

"And what if I'm busy?" She chirped flirtatiously.

"Oh yeah? Busy doing what, hm?"

"Hanging out with Ian."

"Oh yeah?" Grinned Lip as he closed the gap between them both, faces just inches from one another.

"Yeah, he's certainly better than you."

"Doubt that." He whispered just as their lips closed together in a rough and intense kiss.

She felt as if she was melting into the kiss, they both did, although they'd fight those feelings because of their current relationship status. Even as their hands traveled down the skin of their half-naked bodies, leaving them both shaking and unable to think straight, they'd still keep fighting those feelings back, because becoming more than what they are is a little more complicated than you would think.

Mandy looked deep into his clear blue eyes, then leaned back in, giving him a sweet peck on the lips before waltzing out the door with a torturous, alluring grin. "Ay, put some clothes on!" He called out her after pulling himself together.

"You put some clothes on!"

"Apply for colleges!"

"You first!" She laughed and he could hear those adorable little giggles of hers ring out in his ears until she was down in the kitchen, being told off by Fiona for not wearing pants, again.

* * *

He found her 'secret stash' a long while ago and now was laying on the foot of her bed, staring idly at the cracked, rust ceiling above him. He continued puffing and puffing on the joint between his fingers and soon if felt as if he was holding absolutely nothing and floating on the clouds above, with no worries and no problems at all. He was completely relaxed.. like a piece of butter melting on a big pile of perfectly cooked pancakes.

His mind a spiraling mist of extremely naughty thoughts of the dazzling brunette he wanted so badly. It was blissful. He shook those thoughts away then leisurely peeled his suddenly weightless body off the mattress and sauntered his way into the kitchen, where he stole a big ass bag of Spicy Nacho Doritos. He knew it wasn't his house or his food but Mandy said to help himself right? He'll pay them back one day. Maybe.

After he annihilated the whole fucking bag and powered through a couple of darts, it had been well over an hour, and he was  _still_  waiting patiently for his best friend to come back from his own house. He started thinking she wouldn't come back for a long while because of the short text she sent a few moments before,   _'_ _be another hour. sorry!'_  and then suddenly he realized the opportunity he had to snoop around Mickey's room. I mean, who wouldn't if they had the chance?

He entered the room expecting to find posters, dumbbells, any sign of life but instead, he found nothing. Nothing but darkness, stained walls and dust built up on the broken furniture. He'd been in his room before, a while ago, but he was too focused on Mickey to even take notice of everything around him. There were empty beer bottles and rubbish scattered across the floor and wooden furniture hanging on by a thread, but besides that, it was oddly plain, like something important was missing. His room was empty.

He continued making his way through, trying not to think much of the obviously desolate, miserable man. As he studied the room, the profound musty smell of dirty old socks invaded his nostrils - which was not at all surprising - while he glanced around once more noticing a few things he missed before. The bed sheets were unmade, practically on the floor, while virtually all of his drawers were destroyed or falling apart. Even with all the mess and destruction, it didn't stop him from snooping like a nosy, obsessed queer.

Soon after he'd slowly drifted over to the bedside table, he felt this stimulating, tingling sensation radiate throughout his body and drift out of his fingertips. When it passed he couldn't help but stand in silence, appreciating the euphoric feeling of being in a drug daze in his own mind. He then leisurely started looking through the draws of the bedside table, being a prying little fuck, smiling at the unopened packet of Magnum XLs. It looked like the brunette had just recently bought them and when he pictured Mickey in the store, awkwardly buying condoms, probably swearing at anyone who looked at him, he began to grin uncontrollably and chuckle to himself. _God, he's fucking adorable._

His eyes and mouth froze wide open in an expression of stunned surprise, right after he closed the top drawer and opened another directly underneath it, discovering a surprising amount of deadly weapons. 44 Magnums,... Revolvers, Multi-barreled Pistols, and even some he didn't even recognize. Although he felt a tinge of fear just gawking at them, he -without much thought - picked up a black handgun with a sly smirk, acknowledging how weightless it felt because of his current status, but also how beautifully dangerous it felt to just touch it.

"The fuck you doing in my room?" Mickey boomed, startling the redhead as he leaned against his door frame trying to hide a smile with annoyance.

"How many guns do you have?" Ian replied while studying the gun, not looking his way.

"Enough. Get out my shit." He commanded while storming over to him, face indignant and annoyed. He snatched one of his weapons out of his hand and then forcefully slammed his drawer shut - not knowing he had another. "Give it back."

"Or what?" The redhead hummed provocatively.

His eyebrows instinctively rose and his nose flared in a pit of anger, "Get the fuck out my room!"

He tore away from the obviously pissed off man and slumped down onto the bed, splayed out, leaning on his elbows, joint in one hand and gun in another. His loose shirt fell off to the side while his jeans were slightly pulled down so his v line and abdomen was on show. Despite all his inflaming anger, Mickey couldn't stop staring. His crystal blue eyes drifted from his mouthwatering muscles to the waistband of his underwear, where he couldn't help imagining ripping every item of clothing off with his teeth. That thought alone made his mouth water but when he noticed the huge bulge in the younger man's pants, begging for attention, he thought of all the many things he'd like to do-

"Like what you see?" Said an amused redhead, interrupting the older mans' thoughts with a cocked eyebrow. With a mischievous look, he slid the half-smoked joint between his lips and inhaled a long drag, liking the way the smoke hit his throat.

"Fuck off,"

"Mm," The man mumbled while watching the way Mickey shifted and rubbed his thumb against his nose, most likely becoming infuriated with the way he was acting.

"How many of those have you had?"

"Why do you care?" Questioned Ian with an irritating, alluring grin as he blew the smoke out his nose.

"I don't." He flat-out lied although his face said otherwise.

"Yeah, right."

He cocked an eyebrow with a sly smirk, being sexy and provocative, arousing all his nerves, all his senses. The older man's heart was pounding like a mother fucker on speed and he could practically feel his blood rushing throughout his reacting body. He hated it. He hated the almost instant reaction his body had the very second he came into contact with the redhead smoking and being cocky in front of him, but yet, being completely turned on by something or someone you're truly attracted to, felt heavenly. Like the feeling of excitement you get low within your belly when you go down a hill too fast in a car, feeling the rush and adrenaline, the compulsion and desire just gets ridiculous.

Ian, on the other hand, felt invigorated, heightened, and completely stoned, and now that he's as high as a kite, he couldn't stop himself from staring into those precious eyes of his. They were seriously blue, almost sickeningly blue - full-on Prince Charming cloudless sky blue. It was dreamy. His vision was a little blurry but he didn't mind one bit because he could still see the horny older man in front of him, and all he wanted was to admire Mickey's beautiful face. His furrowed eyebrows, his slightly parted lips taking in deep heavy breaths, his silk like skin covered with faint freckles, but especially the way he would nibble at his bottom lip in frustration. This is what he called perfection. This is the main reason why he tolerated his ruthless acts towards partially innocent people. Mickey's inner beauty.

After gazing at him for so long, feeling the tension rise above normal, he inhaled the last of his joint, still being cocky and intriguing, then stubbed it out on the ashtray beside him. "I want you," He whispered huskily, eyeing the man hungrily from head to toe.

"Fuck off." Huffed Mickey, trying so damn hard to ignore Ian and ignore his aching body. He reached for his cigarette packet on the bedside table, giving Ian a scolding look, letting him know that teasing him won't do shit but irritate him even though it was obvious it wasn't.

While he lit his smoke between his lips, Ian cocked an eyebrow then proceeded to torment him by running his tongue leisurely along the barrel of the Glock, eyes locked with the brunette the whole time.

He cleared his throat and shifted uncomfortably. "You know that's loaded, right?"

"Oh, I know." He replied carelessly before slowly and seductively peeling himself off the bed until he was standing eye to eye with the man. He then leaned in real close, "Does it get your blood boiling?" He whispered in his ear, his voice low and hoarse, "Does your heart start beating faster? Do you get that sense of thrill and excitement?" He paused for a short second to move his face to the other side, bodies pressed against each other's, feeling their bodily heat radiate off of them, "Or does it scare the living shit out of you to think that just one wrong move and I'm shot dead? Go on, admit it. Admit you care about me."

Mickey immediately took a step back, "Get the fuck out,"

"Why?" Ian gulped, totally forgetting in that moment that he can't push the brunette's limits too much or he himself will get shoved a million miles away.

"BECAUSE YOU'RE PISSING ME OFF!" He barked callously.

He bowed his head instantly in humiliation and shame. His cheeks changed from rosy pink to bright red and he felt his buzz almost completely fade away. Regretful, he then pressed the handle of the gun into Mickey's chest so he'd take it then proceeded to leave like he was ordered so many times before. He was hoping the man would change his mind and decide he wanted him, but from the short walk from the bed to the door he still hadn't.

"Micke-"

"Fuck off."

Okay, maybe it was because he was whacked in the middle of the day, or perhaps it was just the fact he was horny as a mother fucker, whatever the reason was, he completely ignored the cursing man and went after what he wanted.

"The fuck?" The older man swore as he was being spun around by a determined, aroused redhead.

His hand ethereally traveled up his left arm, causing a pit of sensations to radiate throughout his body and tremble in response while his other hand grasped his hip and locked him in place, pinning his body against his own. "I fucking want you..." He murmured softly into his ear, his voice deep and persistent.

"I... don't care." The brunette lied while unwillingly leaning himself into Ian's touch, into his warmth and security.

He traced his hand further up his arm, leaving tingling sensations in his wake, until he was gently cradling his gorgeous face while whispering faintly into his ear, "Yes you do."

"Fuck off man."

"I won't touch you... until you say I can." His voice became a husky, erotic whisper every time he spoke. He didn't move a single inch in fear that he'd touch him in a place that'll make him snap. He strictly kept his hands gripping his hip and cradling his soft face, ready to leave once he said no.

Mickey screwed his eyes shut knowing he wouldn't be able to say no again, not with Ian's hot breath on his cheek and thumb stroking his face. Without a second's more hesitation he moved the hand clutching his hip towards his stone-hard erection, forcing the redhead to grab a hold of him.

Ian smiled broadly against his cheek and clasped him firmer, slowly stroking him over his clothes, giving him a small hint of what was to come, what he secretly craves.

"Touch me," Mickey demanded in a whisper, still with his eyes shut and head downcast.

"I am."

"No. Touch me." He repeated, leaning into Ian's heat.

He grinned once again, this time a self-satisfied smirk along with a smug complacent expression to match. "You sure?"

"Yes for fuck's sake."

They've done this before, countless times before throughout the weeks, but even then their hearts immediately started racing with just a mere thought of touching one another. He gracefully and swiftly began unbuckling Mickey's belt using both hands as he pressed their foreheads together, finally looking him directly in his captivating eyes. Mickey let out a gravelly moan, deep from within the throat as Ian continued stroking him only this time skin to skin.

He sunk to his knees coming face to face to the older man's beautiful, full-length cock right in front of his eyes. Just looking at him from below, begging to be touched, already coming undone was utterly emotive but more so orgasmic. With great confidence he gripped the brunette's rock hard erection and began slowly jerking him off, gradually tormenting him until he finally looked him in the eyes and gave him that hungrily wrecked look that ultimately said 'I want more'.

Full of lust and sin Ian got straight to it, wasting no time at all, wrapping his lips around him, and going down with his mouth all the way to the base. He moaned around his shaft, extremely happy with the task at hand, then very nearly gagged as the other boy unexpectedly thrusted his hips forward unintentionally. Mickey groaned instantly and fisted his hands into balls, resisting the urge to hold Ian's face as he got busy. Ian looked up at him and grinned as he began to run his tongue in circles around the head of Mickeys' cock, causing him to shudder and groan in satisfaction. He closed his eyes and just took in the pleasure as Ian began picking up his pace.

Although they were vastly worked up and libidinous, he'd always take pride in his work. Working his dick from the base to the tip, sucking on his knob like he was starving, humming when he takes him all so it vibrates throughout him, sucking on his balls while jerking him with one hand. He continued to move expertly up and down his shaft at a pace that nearly seemed impossible and watching him do all that made it so very clear that he loved sucking Mickeys' cock. He loved having it in his mouth, he loves the salty taste, how his lips felt afterward, how the older man looked while he was doing it and he would do absolutely anything to make Mickey love it too.

Mickey couldn't keep himself together with everything that was going on. One minute he's deep-throating the shit out of him and the next he's licking his thick shaft while looking up at him with this sexy, alluring look that could literally send him over the edge just with one glance. After the older man gave in and lost his fingers within flaming red hair in front of him, Ian stopped everything he was doing immediately, even removed his hands from his hot body.

"What?" Mickey murmured, almost out of breath, looking down at the amused younger man. He just gave him this look, this magnetic, enticing stare with the most enticing smirk he'd ever seen and he knew straight away what it meant. "You sure?"

He nodded with one of the most confident smiles he'd ever seen, which of course made the brunette automatically blush bright red and turn his face away to hide it. Hoping Ian didn't take notice he turned back, grasped fistfuls of red hair and looked directly into his eyes for any sign of regret, but finding nothing but pure excitement. He then began.

His obviously pretty, pink cock disappeared and re-appeared before his eyes, slamming the back of his throat with his cock, making him unable to breathe properly. Ian smugly swallowed around it and Mickey gasped startlingly and moaned, then pulled out very slowly. He pushed back in and set up a rhythm of fucking Ian's mouth and every so often pushing fully in to go down his tight throat.

While Mickey fucked his pretty mouth, he moved a hand from the outside of Mickeys' thigh and brought it up to cup his balls, causing the boy to thrust up into his mouth again, but this time making Ians' eyes water and gag excessively. He abruptly stopped pounding his face, worried, to make sure the ginger was okay and not seriously hurt.

"You okay?!" He asked frantically with a hint of worry within his voice.

Ian smiled up at him with thick lashes and lustful eyes, visibly reassuring him that he is perfectly fine, in fact, he's incredible. He cocked an eyebrow at the man, daring him to continue what he craved and desired. So he did, trying to ignore the fact that it looked as if he was seriously hurting him. It was only until he noticed the younger man touching himself shortly after when he  _really_  started to enjoy it.

He was mentally drinking in the mesmerizing sounds Ian was currently making. Fuck, they were so god damn heavenly. The guttural, gurgling sound as he swallowed around him or gagged after he slammed the back of his throat was extremely lascivious, but not as sexy as the spit and pre-cum dripping from Ian's chin. He faintly noticed from looking down at the younger mans' perfectly hallowed cheeks that he was turning a vague red color in the skin and tears prickling his eye, which of course only turned him on more because he realized Ian would choose to please him over breathing.

He loved the feeling of Mickey's erection hot and heavy on his tongue and thick and hard down his fucked-out throat. He knew for sure his voice would be completely fucked later from this, but it felt too euphorically amazing for him to care. The right side of his face felt like he was being pierced with something, the brunette's sharp nails maybe, while his gorgeous, bright hair kept being tugged and ripped on the other side. He secretly loved it though.

While continuing to jerk himself, he rolled his tongue in the midst of Mickey aggressively fucking his face, dragging yet another deep, alluring groan out of the man, and just as he started playing with his balls again he came hard and intensely without warning, hot and swift down the back of the throat of the young man on his knees before him. He held himself there for a moment, then leisurely pulled out, panting and staring at Ian's wet and tender lips. He watched as Ian swallowed, of course, blue eyes locked with green, beaming at the extent of Ian's wrecked appearance.

Then, of course, this perfect, beautiful moment was interrupted by a cluttering noise entering the front door, "MICK! Where the fuck are you?"

"Shit!" He swore, rushing to re-adjust himself and push Ian into his bathroom all within seconds.

"What the fuck am I gonna do in here?" Ian asked in a whisper before Mickey slammed the door shut closed.

"Ah, shut the fuck up, how about that?"

"Ay Mick!" Iggy spoke, bursting through the door with Jamie without knocking.

"What for fuck's sake?!"

"Jeez. You alright?" Jamie questioned, secretly not really giving a shit. "You look tired."

"Nah, he looks like he's been jerking off all day." Commented Iggy jokingly.

"Or he's got a girl here."

"T'yeah right." They laughed in unison, finding their little brothers lack in game humorous. "Watchu hiding in there Mick?"

"Nothing." The brunette lied, feeling his blood pressure rise above normal, frightened they'd find Ian if they fought their way into the room.

Iggy pushed him around a few times, trying to move him away from the bathroom door, "Oh yeah?"

"I said nothing." Warned Mickey in a hoarse threatening tone, "Fuck off!"

"Ooo, testy today huh?"

"What the fuck do you even want?"

"Bunch of us are going down to Andrea's tonight, score some 22's, 44's anything really. You in?"

"Andrea?" He repeated, recognizing the name, "That Colin's ex-skank?"

"No, that's Collins mates ex-skank. Why? Interested in gettin a little somethin?" Iggy casually joked, secretly hoping his little brother would actually leave the house for once and put himself out there. He was starting to get worried about him and about his mental health.

"Fuck off." He swore with the obvious roll of the eye.

"Told ya he's gay." Mumbled the other brother, Jamie, as his face formed a smug, complacent smirk, being an arrogant smart-ass.

"The fuck did you just say?!"

"Easy there brother." Iggy spoke pushing the agitated brunette back from attacking, "He's just kidding."

"Yeah, I'm just kidding," Jamie smirked.

"Oh yeah? I'll knock that smug look right off your FUCKIN FACE!" He threatened, trying to jump back at him.

"Alright! I'm sorry. You coming or not?"

"Not."

"Fine grumpy. We'll bring you back something."

"Great, get out."

"Oh, almost forgot," Iggy chirped, throwing a package at him, "scored you some green. You owe me."

He slammed the door shut behind them, threw it onto his bed and exhaled a deep breath he hadn't noticed he'd been holding. He rubbed his face in relief that he hadn't been caught, waited for the sounds of his brothers leaving the house, then stumbled over and opened the bathroom door, allowing Ian to come back into his bedroom.

Now slumped on his bed, chopping up the decent-sized buds his brother brought him while Ian watched from the foot of the bed, not knowing what to say or what to do after that whole situation. Whatever he could possibly say or do would most likely end with the same outcome, so instead, he shut his mouth up and waited for Mickey to speak.

"Want a joint?"

"S-sure," He stuttered, fiddling his hands in the pockets of his pants. He observed the man from a few feet away, amazed at how fast he was working those scissors; like chopping weed was basic nature to him. It was oddly attractive in a weird way.

He kept his head down but looked up with his eyes, "You don't have to stand there like a fucking creep. Sit the fuck down."

He did what was asked of him but sat literally on the end of the bed, legs up hugging into his chest, extremely anxious and nervous for no particular reason at all. Mickey, who was still leaning on his side trimming his weed, looked up at him through thick, beautiful lashes and smirked to one side.

"You don't have to sit so far away you know? I'm not mad."

He huffed out a laugh then sprawled out on the man's bed, facing him, leaning on his elbow only two feet away from his gorgeous face, "Really? That's a first."

He chuckled at his remark while rolling the perfect joint, detecting a pair of eyes on him the whole time, then noticed Ian shifting as he leisurely licked the paper, closing the joint. He tossed it at Ian's chest with a beaming smile then proceeded to make another for himself, not intent on sharing.

A few moments later they were both thoroughly relaxed and enjoying the new sensations radiating throughout their bodies. Both their visions somewhat blurred out on the sides and all the colors they saw were somehow brighter, more vivid, like they just woke up from a ten-minute power nap on the beach, on a sunny day, but not as overwhelming. As Mickey moved his head from the bed sheets to the joint in his hand then to the redhead's beautiful face, he noticed his vision moving slower than he actually perceived his head moving which, for some reason, made him cough up a laugh.

"Oh, you get the giggles," Ian smirked, "I like that."

Everything looked like it was in pictures; like, he was not seeing the world as moving like a film, but rather as a collection of pictures spaced half a second apart. In the midst of all those pictures was one unique, vibrant image, one with splashes of green and smears of orange and a wonderful, captivating smile that would brighten up any audience no matter who they are. That picture was Ian and he couldn't stop gazing at him like the most precious thing on earth.

"What?" Ian smiled around the filter, inhaling another drag.

He tore his eyes away and tried focusing on the joint in between his fingers, "Nothin."

"No, what?"

He couldn't even look him in the eyes without smiling or feeling the butterflies in his stomach start fluttering - which was the same with Ian. What the fuck is going on with him? Being in the same room with the redhead while he's whacked is definitely not a good idea, given the fact that he sputters out what he's thinking or feeling. "You're sort of... sexy."

_Holy fucking shit. Did he just say that or am I imagining it? Stay cool Ian, stay cool. Don't freak out._ "Sexy huh? Guess it's not only me that get's all sentimental."

"Fuck off. Forget I said that."

He let out a small laugh, noticing Mickey's eyes watching him idly as he did so. He nervously looked up at the beautiful man, locking eyes with him once again, somehow gaining the courage to say what he was thinking too, mostly because of that one meaningful stare, but partly because of the drugs in his system. "What exactly are we?"

"Oh, fuck no." He barked, refusing to have this conversation. "I may be high but we're not doing this."

"Doing what?"

"Doing this. The 'talk'. I'm not having it."

"Not having it huh? Come on, humor me."

"I said no."

"Please." He begged, knowing he wouldn't be able to resist this time.

"Fine." He slid off the bed, irritated, shoving the rest of the drugs into his draws, "We aren't anything to each other. As far as I know, I don't know you."

"Really? Is that right?"

"Yeah, that's fucking right." The older man snapped, turning to face Ian with a hard expression. "You're nothing but a warm mouth to me!"

"Well, that took a dramatic turn." He joked, not fully acknowledging to extent of Mickey's anger, "So, I am something to you then. Even if it's just a fucking 'warm mouth'."

Mickey sighed and lit up a cigarette, "Whatever man."

"Why do you do that?" Questioned the younger man, removing himself from the bed determined to get an answer.

"Do what?"

"Push me away. Act like you don't give a shit about me."

"I don't give a shit about you." He insulted harshly.

"Okay, fine. Let's pretend you don't. But you do care about what I give you."

He knew that was true, I mean, why else would he be allowing Ian to be here right now if not for that reason? "What the fuck is your point?"

"You're gonna fall for me..." Ian grinned, stepping closer to the man.

"Fuck off."

"No, you will. Day by day, moment by moment, you will fall in love with me whether you like it or not. It's just all about timing."

"You done?" Mickey scowled while he rose those perfect eyebrows, angry and irritated.

"I guess."

"Great. Now,... we're nothing to each other. Nothing! We sometimes fuck, but that's it. I don't care about you. You don't care about me. I don't want any of that faggy, stare into each other's eyes bullshit. No talking about pointless feelings, or holding fuckin' hands." He took a deep breath and quickly glanced at Ian's amused face, "That good enough for you?"

"No. But I can live with it." Ian casually lied, gradually moving closer to the man. He placed a hand on his left cheek, loving the fact that the handsome man before him instantly leaned into his touch. His mouth was only inches away from Mickey's but neither man made a move for it. "I can still taste you on my tongue," He breathed huskily, lip curling up in amusement when he heard Mickey's breathe hitch in his throat, "Like I said... you're gonna fall for me."

"Fuck you!" He swore, reaching for the closest thing near him and ditching it at Ian - who was now halfway out the door - but missing just slightly.

"Bye Mickey." He laughed, giggling the whole way out the door, leaving the older man standing in silence with a genuine smile as always, feeling the butterflies move about in his stomach. It didn't matter what lie he spun or what he believed, Ian would always know differently and see through all the lies. He knew what the man truly wanted and he'll stop at absolutely nothing to make Mickey feel as if he can be himself around him.

He ran into Mandy on the street just as he was on his way to find her, and her on her way to find him. They then ended up spending the rest of the day shopping and spending quality time with her each other, like they had been the following night. It was great to talk to her without fear of judgment, but yet he still didn't have the balls to spill that little secret he keeps with Mickey. He wasn't about to break his trust. That secret is sacred.


End file.
